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The Lone Gunmen Issue 032
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| | | | | | ___
| | | | __ | | <_ | Issue #:032
_| |_ _| |_| | | \___/ | Date:03\05\96
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_ / / \ \ _
/ _ / THE LONE GUNMEN Presents: \ _ \
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| | Your Favorite Color is the | |
| | Key to Your Sexual Life | |
| | | |
| | Written By: Mulder | |
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********************************STOP******************************************
*** In this day and age, anyone can get there hands on txt philez and that ***
*** means that even the YuppIe kids, who don't follow directions, can (and ***
*** will probly blow there faces,hands,fingers,noses,legs,nipples, and P-P ***
*** blown off, so befor you continue read the File "DISCLAIM.ER!" that was ***
*** included in the .ZIP file. it basicly says that you cant sew me if you ***
*** get fucked. **************************************************************
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The cloths you wear, your home furnishings and the car you drive all
give clues to your sexual personality. The key is the colors you select for
your possessions. Most people claim they haven't a favorite color. But look
around you, and you'll notice a pattern, especially in your clothing and home
decor. The predominant color for you is the one that appears most frequently
-- it's the one that mirrors the sexual you. A panel of psychologists,
speaking at the 1975 Home Interior Design Forum, explained the association
between color and sexual patterns.
RED: People who like red tend to be tigers in the sack. They are
easily aroused and enjoy sex in every way imaginable. Once the sexual spark
is ignited, it may take hours to extinguish. When two reds get together, the
ensuing erotica could make Lady Chatterly blush. Lovers of red tend to be
aggressors and weaker colors should be aware.
YELLOW: If you tend to favor yellow, your sexual drives are complex
and turn toward the adaptable. The favorite color of homosexuals is yellow.
But don't panic -- not everyone who wears yellow is queer. In most cases the
person will consent to the stronger partner's desires in a passive manner.
You will never enjoy sex to the fullest, but you will never turn down an
invitation from somebody you enjoy or admire.
PINK: Persons who like pink show a reluctance to mature in sexual
matters: women tend to tease, to promise more than they intend to deliver. In
some cases they flaunt their femininity -- but because they secretly hate
men. A great percentage of prostitutes boast entire wardrobes in pink. Men
who like pink are the philanderers and flirts. They are the type who will
make three dates for the same evening and not keep one, preferring to pick up
a dish in some bar instead. Women whose husbands like pink should keep a
secret nest egg.
PURPLE: Lovers of purple frequently consider themselves to be too
sophisticated for a fun romp in the sack. Women sometimes are the type who
hate to mess their hair. Men are business-like in their approach to love-
making. In both sexes purple partners are more concerned with their
fulfillment than anyone else's gratification.
BLACK: Black color preferences point to black sex (not necessarily
meaning black partners). These people are the misfits of the sex world and
seek out each other in kinship. They tend to prefer perverted sex and are
usually masochistic or sadistic in nature. They are moody people and often
perform at their peak when under stress or during unhappy times. Police
psychiatrists claim that sex offenders prefer the color black. And it is no
coincidence that the uniform of mosters and teenage gangs is black attire.
GREEN: Those who prefer green are fresh and innocent in their
approach to sex. Women who love green will always make love like virgins all
their life. And a man may always be a trifle clumsy and awkward but in a
charming and endearing sort of way. Green lovers are gentle, but not
passionate. If chosen as a mate, one will never need worry about infidelity.
ORANGE: Lovers of the color orange lean toward sexual fantasies. The
sex act is regarded as a dramatic one-act play in which they are the star.
Foreplay is as important as the act of love. They whisper sweet nothings,
meaningless dialogue; they feel it is their image. Orange people often do not
experience orgasm -- but they put on a darn good act. Men tend to pull their
partner's hair, and women leave red welts on the sex partner's back.
BROWN: If you love brown, you're a real treasure for the right mate.
Brown lovers tend to be warm and deep, sensitive to the needs and desires of
their partners. Sex is a 24 hour a day thing. Where you can't say "I love
you" often enough. Snuggling by the fire, walking in the rain or catching
snowflakes on their tongue is a turn-on to a lover of brown. They need lots
of time and privacy to make love. But their emotions are such that one harsh
word could end the affair.
GREY: The color grey a preferred by people who are indecisive. They
can't get excited about anything -- including color -- so they choose a
noncommittal shade. Men who prefer grey look at sex as a way of relieving
tension -- but nothing more, nothing less. It's wham, bam, thank you ma'am.
Women don't make love, they have intercourse. And for one of two reasons only:
to accommodate their mate, or to become pregnant. They count the cracks in the
bedroom plaster until the sex act is over with and done. But when teamed with
another color, the grey spouse considers the other's infidelity a blessing.
When a grey marries another grey, the marriage is made in heaven.
BLUE: Lovers of blue are wonderful sex partners. They are sinners,
affectionate and sensitive to their partner's needs. They consider love making
a fine art and their approach is elegant. Men who love blue are like concert
pianists, delicately ravaging their partner like they would play a baby grand.
Women in the blue category enjoy sex to the fullest. They are exciting
partners but their passion may be compared to a tidal wave rather than firery
aggression. Both women and men enjoy foreplay and the aftermath of lovemaking,
as much as the sex act itself. In marriage a blue person is a wonderful mate
-- never seeking outside interests.
WHITE: If a person is infatuated with white, sex often seems filthy.
These people are puritanical in nature. French kissing is obscene and to make
love in the daylight in unheard of. Women who love white will undress beneath
the covers. Men will shower before and after the sex act. These people still
use pet names for their genitals.
