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The Lone Gunmen Issue 035
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| | | | __ | | <_ | Issue #:035
_| |_ _| |_| | | \___/ | Date:03\25\96
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/ _ / THE LONE GUNMEN Presents: \ _ \
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| | Making fun of the NRA | |
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| | Written By:THouGHT | |
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********************************STOP******************************************
*** In this day and age, anyone can get there hands on txt philez and that ***
*** means that even the YuppIe kids, who don't follow directions, can (and ***
*** will probly blow there faces,hands,fingers,noses,legs,nipples, and P-P ***
*** blown off, so befor you continue read the File "DISCLAIM.ER!" that was ***
*** included in the .ZIP file. it basicly says that you cant sew me if you ***
*** get fucked. **************************************************************
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When my dad was around he collected guns. Tehehehe and all the NRA magazines
well i was looking through them and i saw the letter's to the editor. Well i
kinda flipped through them and saw some interesting ones, well i'm makin' fun
of all the idiots that write to the editor's of various Gun and ammo magazines.
You like the NRA? Tuff shit read the disclaim.er! file.
Question 1:
Recently I bought a Blipp Army Special .38 for my home defense. My
wife however complains that she doesn't like having guns around the house.
Her arguments chiefly stern from the fact that our two-year old son
accidentily shot himself in the chest last year with my Roofus .357. I've
explained to my wife the importance of home defense, but she still remains
unreasonably adamant. My question is this; when i send her to the beer store
, can i shoot her dead when she returns and then declare her a intruder in
the police report?
Orinithal Simspson, Los Angleses, California.
Answer: Different states have different laws, but seeing how you're from
California , we can almost guarruntee that you can.
Question 2:
I was with my friend Jeff at the river shooting turtles. We were
just passing time like we always do and i said something abou his old
girlfriend Katie when suddenly Jeff spun around and fired from the hip.
The bullet drilled into my neck and shattered my spinal chord at the third-
cervical vertabraete. I am now quadrapaledric but i still have a passion for
firearms and shooting. Is there any manufacture that offers mouth-operated
weapon systems that can be mounted on wheel chairs?
Andy F. Hemppot, Grass, Texas
Answer:
The handycapped have long been a group ignored by the producers of firearms
, but no longer. Hick with Attitudes Inc. have produced a mouth operated
mobile AK-47 weapon system for all you quadrapaligics out there.
Question 3:
Hi, this is a HYPOTHETICAL question. My name is Lyle Menendez, let's
say HYPOTHETICLY that me and my brother, let's call him Kyle, were to shoot
our parents with two brand new spankin smith and wesson 3000gn Shootguns,
with 28 lead slugs. And when the cops showed up HYPOTHETICALLY we said that
we had to , because we were sexually and mentally abused as kids and as
we were now. Now since this was a HYPOTHETICAL situation do you think we
could get off scott-free at least through 2 trials of murder in the first degree?
Thanx, Lyle Menedez, Los Angelez, Kalifornia.
Answer:
Well, let me say HYPOTETICALLY that I should have reasponded earlier.
But well at least You got through the 2 trials , but looks like your asses
are gonna fry now !!!! Hehehehehhehe.
Hehehehehehehehe, don't you love the NRA! Now remember all you
special criminals out there, it's okay to murder your Wife and crack-head
boyfriend in Kalifornia, but not okay to murder you parents ! Just remember
Tehehehhehee.
THouGHT
WHY ARE YOU STILL READING THIS IT'S OVER DAMNIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
