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The Humus Report Issue 06
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THE Electronic Fun Zone dedicated to fertilizing Mother Earth
in the finest possible tradition. Serving Mother since the 1950s.
Issue 006, Vol I
June 1988
copyright (c) 1988
caren park
chief bottle washer, owner, publisher, editor, other stuff
all rights reserved, and all that legal rigamarole
============================================================================
A few words:::
Well, it's been a little bit too long between issues, and I
apologize for that, but things around my chaotic manor have been slightly
more confused than normal. Fortunately, as I appear to be enjoying myself
thoroughly, they don't promise to become any less confusing until xmastime.
This issue will contain, among other things, the second in our
never-ending series on phone answering machine messages, "Twilight Phone,
The Sequel," as well as our usual assortment of odd and bizarre items...
This show can thank the following people: Peter Klein ("RAYGN"),
the inventor of phone answering machines AND the Phone Answering Machine
Comedians of America (PAMCA), a few politicians, a director of surgery, a
Chinese restaurant named "Hygiene" and, I'm sure, just a few other little
goodies... So, without further adieu, on with the show...
============================================================================
"Abandon hope, all ye who enter here..."
============================================================================
Birthdays for the month include numerous famous and infamous folk...
Marilyn Monroe (1st, 1926), Marquis de Sade (2nd, 1740) and Pope Pius X
(2nd, 1835)... Bjorn Borg (6th, 1956)... Mohammed, the original Islam
prophet, was born on the 8th in 570... Frank Lloyd Wright (8th, 1869)...
Paul McCartney ("Did you know that Paul McCartney was in a band BEFORE
Wings?", 18th, 1942)... Martha Washington, our first First Lady under the
latest Constitution of the United States (21st, 1732)... Pearl Buck (author
of "The Good Earth, 26th, 1819)... and Helen Keller (27th, 1880)...
A few computer people born in the month of June include: Blaise
Pascal, who didn't know he would probably be more famous for the language
named after him than for his mathematics (19th, 1623) and, Alan Turing, who
was said to have done as much for the cause of the west during World War II
as anyone, designer of the Turing Test for artifical intelligence (23rd,
1912)...
Notable entertainers include Donald Duck (9th, 1934), who was always
being upstaged by some rodent or other... Jacques Cousteau (11th, 1910), a
man who has brought millions pleasure while he rakes in the bucks doing
something he seems to enjoy doing... Henry Louis Gehrig, felled by a
disease that acquired his name after it took his life (19th, 1903)...
Garfield the Cat, lover of Lasagna, snappy comebacks and independence at all
costs (19th, 1978)... Abner Doubleday, who is credited with inventing the
all-American pasttime that crams 20 minutes of action into a 2+-hour
experience... and Bob Keeshan, affectionately known by kids of all ages for
more than 30 years as "Captain Kangaroo" (27th, 1927)...
Oh, and a merry birthday anniversary greeting to Henry VIII of
England (28th, 1491), who always had others become head-over-heels about
him... so to speak...
"Casey at the Bat" was first published by the San Francisco Examiner
on the 3rd in 1888... "Dragnet" first polluted the airways exactly 61 years
later on KFI (Los Angeles)... Me, I think I appreciate "Casey" more...
Lots of days around... Egg Day (3rd), Old Maid's Day (4th, though
whoever gave the day that name I'd like to invite to a barbeque, where they
would become part of the entree...), Kamehameha Day (11th in Hawaii),
Kitchen Klutzes of America Day AND The National Asparagus Festival (13th...
kinda says it all, doesn't it?), National Bald Eagles Day (20th),
Midsummers' Day (24th), and National Fink Day on the 27th...
Ada Lovelace meets Charles Babbage for the first time (5th, 1833)...
even if you aren't interested in computers at all, this "affair" should be
one that you would want to delve into deeper...
The first drive-in movie theatre opens in the heart of the
depression (not to mention Camden, NJ, too) on the 6th, 1933... The first
commercially-made ice cream was sold in New York on the 8th, 1786 (no
mention as to flavor, quality, advertising dollars, or franchise rights)...
The first Apple Computer Apple II computer was launched on the 10th, 1977...
less than three years later, they'd shipped a few more... On the 13th,
1983, Pioneer 10 is the first man-made object to leave the solar system...
Bunson invented his first burner on the 14th, 1847, giving lots of chem and
physics students something to burn chemicals and pyrex tubing with... The
first motion picture (used 12 cameras, too) was caused to happen on the
15th, 1878... It was done initially to see if all four of a horse's hooves
left the ground during a gallop. Leland Stanford, original proprieter of
Snodfart University in Palo Alto sorta, bet that they didn't... He lost...
The first woman in space was Valentina Tereshkova (CCCP) on the
16th, 1963, aboard Vostok 6... The first Watergate break-in of any
consequence occurred on the 17th, 1972... Macadamia nuts were first planted
in Hawaii on the 18th, 1892. This fails to explain, however, why the nuts
are still so damned expensive. You'd think they'd have figured out how to
lower prices by now... Ed Sullivan begins a Sunday night tradition (as Ed
himself would call it, his "reeeeeelly big shoooeee") on the 20th, 1948...
The first donut was invented on the 22nd, 1847. It is unknown at this time
when the "doughnut" was invented... Pluto, our 9th planet, is discovered to
have something called "Charon" orbiting it on the 22nd, 1978. No connection
between the donut and Charon has yet been established...
The Battle of Bunker Hill is fought on Breed's Hill on the 16th,
1775... Flying saucers were first sighted and identified as being flying
saucers (as opposed to "... that weird thing in the sky ..." on the 24th,
1947, by someone named Kenneth near Mount Rainier (the only mountain named
for a beer that I can think of) in Washington state... Five Canterbury
monks report something exploded on the Moon on the 25th, 1178... We were
unable to find out what herbs were placed in their dinner plates that
night. Research continues... And, a giant fireball/comet/meteorite/
spaceship/something fell from the sky into Central Siberia and rocked the
Earth before Buddy Holly, on the 30th, 1908...
For you future folk, a transit of Venus will occur on the 8th,
2004... write that one down on the calendar... Father's Day occurs on a
Sunday this month, too... I think it's the 19th... And, the big news item
of 1820: The tomato was proven to be edible (not poisonous) on the 28th...
The things you can learn by reading The Humus Report... Boggles the mind...
============================================================================
Some people have to work to think "differently," and others simply
have it thrust upon them at birth... I'm not entirely sure where this next
piece comes from, but I do know that the author was probably born...
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Theory of Dark Suckers
For years it was believed that light wes emitted from an electric
bulb; recent information has proven otherwise --- dark is sucked into the
bulb --- therefore, the bulb is a dark sucker.
There are many types and sizes of dark suckers. The largest
manufacturers of dark suckers are General Electric and Sylvania. Some
modern dark suckers utilize solid power to operate properly. Solid power
units can be purchased from Eveready, Exide, and Duracell.
The dark sucker theory proves the existence of dark suckers as well
as proving that dark is heavier than light. Some examples are as follows:
Electric bulbs: There is less dark near the electric bulb than at a
distance of 100 feet when it is operating; therefore, it is sucking dark
and can be classified as a dark sucker. The larger the dark sucker, the
greater the distance it can suck dark. The larger the dark sucker, the
greater its capacity of dark. The dark sucking capabilities are evident
when the dark sucker has reached its capacity and will no longer suck dark.
At that point, you may notice the dark area on the inside portion of the
dark sucker. The larger the dark sucker, the larger the area of dark found
within. This type of dark sucker can be made directional by placing a
shield around a portion of the unit or behind it. This will prevent dark
from entering the dark sucker from that side thereby extending the range of
the dark sucker on the unprotected/unshielded side.
Candles: primitive dark suckers: There is more dark 30 feet from a
lit candle than there is at a distance of 3 feet. Proof of its dark sucking
capabilities is relatively simple. Examine a new unused candle, notice that
the center core is not dark. Ignite the center core. Allow the center core
to burn for about 5 minutes. Notice the lack of dark around the candle.
Extinguish the candle flame. Notice that the center core of the candle is
now dark. The center core is a dark sucker protected by a soft insulator to
extend its life expectancy and maintain rigidity to verify that this
primitive dark sucker is operating properly. Ignite the center core and
allow it to burn for a minimum of 2 minutes. Pass a clean pencil over the
top of the flame, left to right, approximately 3 inches above the center
core. Notice that there is no dark on the pencil. Pass the pencil over the
center core now about 1/2 inch. Notice that the pencil now has a dark area.
The pencil blocked the path of the dark being sucked to the core of the dark
sucker. This type dark sucker is very primitive and does not suck dark any
great distance, nor does it have a large capacity.
Dark sucker solid power units may be purchased locally at a variety
of outlets. Size does not determine the life expectancy of the dark sucker
solid power unit. These solid power units work with many modern dark
suckers, and absorb dark from the dark sucker. The absorbed dark is
converted to solid power within the unit.
An example of the conversion of dark into solid power in the
automobile of today: Notice an auto in use during dark hours. Two
(possibly four) large dark suckers are located on the front. On the rear
there are two (or 3) smaller dark suckers with red filters. You may also
notice several dark suckers with yellow filters. These filters are required
to remove a percentage of red and yellow from total dark so as to energize
the solid power unit. The solid power unit permits the auto to be utilized
during hours of no dark by the dark it has absorbed. The number of dark
suckers varies with the age of the automobile. Newer automobile solid power
units require a greater percentage of red-filtered dark. Older units
generally require more non-filtered dark. The solid power unit of the
automobile has a dark interior.
This can be proved by cutting the solid power unit in half. Dark is
heavier than light. Dark always settles to the bottom of a lake and/or
river. Submerge just below the surface of a lake and you will notice an
absence of dark. Lower yourself to 15 feet below the surface and you will
notice a degree of darkness even on a sunny, bright day. Lower yourself to
50 feet (or more) below the surface and you are in total dark. Ergo, the
dark has settled to the bottom; therefore, dark is heavier than light.
Modern technology has allowed us to utilize the dark that has
settled to the bottom of large rivers through the creation of turbines which
push the dark downriver to the ocean, which has a larger holding capacity
for dark and is a common safe storage location. As the dark is passed
through the turbine, a percentage of solid power is removed and transmitted
to various short term storage plants for many usages. Prior to turbines, it
was much more difficult to move the dark from rivers to storage areas such
as deep lakes or the ocean. The Indians would paddle their canoes very
little and not very deeply if they were going in the direction of flow of
dark so as not to slow it down. However, if they were traveling opposite
the natural flow of dark, they would dig their paddles very deep and rapidly
to assist the flow of dark to its ocean storage place.
Dark is faster than light. If you would open a drawer very slowly,
you will notice that the light goes into the drawer. You can see this
happen. You cannot see the dark leave the drawer. Continue to open the
drawer and light will continue to enter the drawer; however, you will not
see any dark leave the drawer. Therefore, dark is faster than light. Go
into a closet, close the door, and turn off the dark sucker. Have a friend
open the door about 1 inch. Your friend will not see any dark leave the
closet, nor will you. Have your friend open the door until half the closet
is dark and half is light. Since 2 objects cannot occupy the same space at
the same time, and you do not feel any change in pressure, by compressing
the dark, it is logical to assume that dark is faster than light.
One last proof. What is a by-product of movement of dark? Heat.
What is a by-product of dark suckers? Heat again. Therefore, a dark sucker
generates heat during its operation, sucking dark from the surrounding area
============================================================================
Speaking of folks that don't think along the same lines as "normal"
folk, Peter Klein is a programmer who works in the Seattle area. This is
not to say that he doesn't think "normally," nor is this to point out that
the Seattle area in general has more than its share of such people. Such
disclaimers aren't necessary when dealing with people who share common
interests, even though those interests aren't the only aspects that appeal
to one such as myself during particular phases of the Moon...
Oh. Where was I?
Oh, yeah... Peter is a nice guy, and his politics just happen to
coincide with mine from time to time...
For example, now...
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
After recent telecasts of the "Barbara Walters Special" and "Bedtime
For Bonzo," I dreamed of the following scenario:
IRRITATING FEMALE VOICE: Hewo, this is Baba Wawa at the White
House. We wiw be tawking with Pwesident and Mrs. Wonald Waygun, who will
weveal incwedible puhsonal wevawations about their puhsonawities and
pehsenol wives.
[COMMERCIAL for Investment Securities Firm]
IRRITATING FEMALE VOICE: Mistaw Pwesident. is it twoo that theah is
a new computah wangwidge named aftuh you?
REASSURING GRANDFATHERLY VOICE: Gee... I don't know. Nancy, what
do you think?
Here's what Baba Wawa was talking about, taken from John
Divorceact's column in INFOWHIRL.
----------
BLUECHIP SOFTWARE ANNOUNCES RAYGN --- AN OLD LANGUAGE IN NEW CLOTHES
by Peter A Klein
In an attempt to crack more conservative markets, BlueChip Software
has introduced a new computer language, RAYGN. RAYGN is an enhanced version
of Orange County BASIC, which is in turn a highly refined version of "Hoover
Trojan Horse BASIC" (though its authors vehemently deny this, we've seen the
code -- Ed.).
Like interpreted BASIC, RAYGN is comfortable, old and a little slow.
It is very good at simple graphics. It is often inaccurate. But somehow
the manual always manages to convince the user that it is his perception of
the problem (rather than RAYGN's answer) that is actually wrong. Ordinary
people like RAYGN because it is simple, direct, and reminds them of less
complicated times.
RAYGN offers many extensions to BASIC. It features a new logical
function, MORAL, sometimes called "Falwell's Contextual Boolean." MORAL(x)
may evaluate to either TRUE or FALSE regardless of the actual value of x.
All that matters is whether x is on the left or right side of an expression.
A new function called KEISTER has been added, but nobody is sure what it
does.
Fixed-point variables of types MILDOLLAR, BILDOLLAR and TRILDOLLAR
have been added. These may only have negative values (though positive
values have been promised in time for the next release). When using these
variable types, a function called COST$2MUCH may be employed. COST$2MUCH(x)
always evaluates to TRUE, unless the expression 4DEFENSE(x) is also true, in
which case RAYGN will double or triple the value of x.
RAYGN's authors believe that their style of programming and memory
resource allocation is the ONLY true way to program. Thus, RAYGN's
automatic housecleaning facilities are, shall we say, a bit aggressive. It
will eliminate any variables it believes are wasteful or unnecessary. It
may even do this while the variables are in use! It is then the
responsibility of the user to trim his program or give up on it. According
to RAYGN's developers, this encourages the writing of tight code.
Further, if RAYGN discovers any other languages or software in its
directories, it will attempt to reorganize them according to its own
principles. Normally, this does not matter, because users of RAYGN are so
devoted that they wouldn't dream of using another language, anyway.
However, hard disk users should be careful to keep other software in
separate directories. This will often suffice, because RAYGN will normally
not interfere with programs in other directories unless they are very small,
employ annoyingly flashy graphics, or attempt to write to RAYGN's
directories.
But certain software is incompatible with RAYGN and may not exist on
the same disk with it. RAYGN's authors are unalterably opposed to programs
that make use of bitwise left shift operators. If RAYGN detects even the
slightest use of left shift, it will attempt to recode or destroy the
offending program regardless of what directory it is in. It does no good to
have such files write-protected, because RAYGN will then switch to direct
hardware calls (known as "covert disk operations").
RAYGN has some very limited "artificial intelligence" capabilities.
It can detect syntax errors and constructions inconsistent with its
developers' philosophy of programming, even before the RETURN key is
pressed. When such conditions occur, RAYGN will display the warning
message, "Go ahead, make my day!" When RAYGN encounters a problem it can't
solve, it will always default to routines in the library PRIVATSEC.TOR.
This library has been somewhat unstable of late, so results are uncertain.
RAYGN may be identified by the prompt string "Well...>" If the
angle bracket fails to appear, RAYGN is "asleep" and not ready for input.
The user must press RETURN several times until the bracket appears. RAYGN
is highly compatible with a pointing device known as the "PC Meese," which
is also available from RAYGN's developers. It has been noted that the
language responds much quicker to the Meese than to input from the keyboard,
or any other device
============================================================================
And unfortunately, of course, RAYGN software comes with a user
license for eight years, and a warranty that things will probably go wrong
long after the license expires...
I would like to believe that there is some justice in the world for
the little guy; you know the one... S/he's been hard at work for eight
hours every day, making enough money to buy little trinkets that enhance the
quality of life beyond food, clothes and a roof...
We'd like to believe in a fairy tale land where the big guys, the
corporations, the incorporations, and the companies, the lawyers, the
doctors, the software publishing firms altruistically helped the little
guy... where they were all held accountable for quality and selection...
where, when things went wrong, there was no question of letting you "go it
alone"... where this "warranty" would never be thought of, much less wished
for fervently...
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
CAREFULLY READ ALL THE TERMS AND CONDITIONS OF THIS AGREEMENT PRIOR
TO TAKING THIS PAYMENT TO THE BANK. CASHING THIS CHECK INDICATES YOUR
ACCEPTANCE OF THESE TERMS AND CONDITIONS.
If you do not agree to these onerous and unreasonable conditions,
return the uncashed check within two to four days, whichever comes first,
and your program will be refunded. No programs will be returned if you
reveal the exact amount of this check to any living human.
1. LICENSE: This check can only be used at a single bank. It may
not be cashed with any branch offices, unless the branch office at which the
aforementioned check is being cashed is the only branch of that bank that is
open anywhere in the world at that moment. You may physically transfer this
check to another branch office, as long as you have never shown this check
to anyone at the first office.
2. BOOKKEEPING: You may make one copy of this check for your tax
records, but you may not show the copy to anyone... ever... I mean it.
3. TERM: This check is valid for thirty (30) days. Should the
paper disintegrate, or exhibit spontaneous combustion, you be sure to let me
know.
4. LIMITED WARRANTY: The best for last. THIS CHECK IS PROVIDED
"AS IS" WITHOUT WARRANTY OF ANY KIND, EITHER EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING
BUT NOT LIMITED TO THE IMPLIED WARRANTIES OF FINANCIAL VALUE OR LIQUIDITY.
THE ENTIRE RISK THAT THIS CHECK CAN BE CASHED, OR THAT IT IS EVEN DRAWN ON A
BANK THAT ACTUALLY EXISTS ON THE PLANET EARTH IS ASSUMED BY YOU. Should the
check prove defective, you, not I, assume the entire cost of all necessary,
but fruitless, efforts at reimbursement.
5. UPDATE POLICY: The licensee must return twelve (12) copies of
the enclosed Market Survey in order to be eligible for copies of my new
address and phone number. Each survey must contain different information
--- photo-copying is NOT allowed.
6. ACKNOWLEDGEMENT: You acknowledge that you and at least two of
your attorneys have read this agreement, understand it and are prepared to
repeat it from memory at any time. You further agree and promise that this
agreement is the full, complete and exclusive agreement between the party of
the first part (me) and the party of the second part (that's you) and that
this agreement supercedes all prior agreements, including the one pasted on
the back of the pretty box in which you ship your floppy diskettes.
7. REMEMBER, YOU PROMISED!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
One might wonder what the bank would think of something like that,
especially if it were imprinted in "fine print" upon every check?
I can't help but chuckle at the thought... :)
============================================================================
About three or four months ago, we ran a little piece on phone
answering machine messages... Well, we have a few more to add to our ever-
increasing library of odd, and we'd like to share them with you... Welcome
back to...
Twilight Phone, The Sequel...
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Fill your outgoing phone machine message tape with a busy signal, or
a ring/chirp/click/dialtone sequence. Only people who know that your
machine is filled with 'signal' and those dumb enough to hang on for the
beep will be able to leave a message
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Fill your outgoing phone machine message tape with a speech by a
well-known politician type, the snow report, or the weather in Tampa/St
Petersburg
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Shortest answering machine message so far is just a hurried, harried
"WHAT?!"
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
*ring*
"Hello. I'm really nervous. I'm doing a message for my very first
time. I hope I'm good. And I hope I don't finish too soon. Here goes:
'Leave your name and number at the tone.' ...AHHHHHH! Was it as good for
you as it was for me?"
*beep*
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
*ring*
"If you are selling something, I am broke and a bad credit risk. If
you are giving something away, I'll take all ya got, but the delivery is at
your expense, and I will agree to nothing. If you want to ask a few
questions, I get two hundred dollars an hour for consulting, one hour
minimum, cash in advance. If you want a donation, think for a moment; I
can't afford to hire a person to call you, so why don't you donate something
to me?"
*beep*
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Taking a small recorder to the ape house at the zoo and recording an
excited group of primates makes for an effective answering machine tape
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
The outgoing message on a friend's machine was made up of actual
Mother Bell phone system error messages. It went like this:
*ring*
"The party you have called is not available. Your call is being
diverted to an alternate number. Please stand by..."
*ring*
"The number you have called must be dialed by your 0 operator"
*click, beep, dial tone*
============================================================================
The news... such an integral part of our life, and yet we tend to
ignore it so blindly... If it weren't for news, we wouldn't be able to
bring you such well-written items as these you have before you...
Behold...
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
To wash or not to wash your car, that is the dilemma in Moscow.
Lawmakers with an uncanny feel for a Catch-22 have devised the cleanliness
rules for Moscow's estimated half-million private motorists.
Drivers can be fined up to 10 rubles ($11.50) by traffic police if
they're caught at the wheel of a car officially rated as dirty.
On the other hand, washing a car inside the city limits is against
the law. A violation on this count can result in a fine of 30 rubles or
more. But there's more.
Washing a car out in the country, at a river, lake or reservoir,
carries an even heavier penalty --- 100 rubles or more.
So, one would reason, go to a carwash. But that's another "Gotcha!"
There are carwashing stations in the capital --- but not nearly
enough to meet the needs of private car owners. In fact, the government
newspaper Izvestia figures, only 1 percent of the city's private cars could
be cleaned in these stations if they were open 24 hours a day.
Discouraged? Hold on.
All the carwashers in the Moscow metropolitan area are on the
fringes of the city. It's a one-hour journey to and from them, with several
hours of waiting.
So anyone who admits using such a carwash should be fired for
absenteeism, Izvestia says
- 04 June 1985 Moscow LA Times -
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
The director of surgery at a New York hospital says slim people in
general stand a better chance of surviving a jump from the Brooklyn Bridge,
and slender women have an even better chance of living through the 160-foot
fall. Dr Howard Richman should know. His hospital is located at the base
of the bridge
- 05 June 1985 NYC UPI -
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
A woman who allegedly planned to use a stolen 10-speed bicycle to
escape after a bank robbery discovered too late that a thief had made off
with the bike during her holdup, police said.
Roberta Sikoff, 26, of Culver City, California, was arrested for
investigation of robbery Friday after a holdup at Home Savings of America.
Sikoff had pedaled to the bank on a bicycle she allegedly stole
earlier Friday, Officer Andy Hischar said. But when she ran from the bank,
the bike was gone.
Police said an undisclosed amount of money was recovered after the
holdup and the woman was being held in lieu of $6,000 bail
- 16 June 1985 West Covina California AP -
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
From "Off the Wire":
Eighty people were hospitalized with food poisoning after a wedding
banquet at a Wuzhou, China, restaurant called Hygiene
- 06 June 1987 -
International Falls, Minn, dubbed the "icebox of the nation," is
spending $18,000 to build a 22-foot thermometer
- 06 June 1987 -
Joe Bell, treasurer of San Bernadino County, California, died of a
heart attack minutes after leaving an exercise class designed to reduce
stress among county executives
- 06 June 1987 -
When a voter send Michigan state Senator John Kelly a critical
letter, Kelly wrote back, "Suck eggs, you 'fed up citizen'"
- 06 June 1987 -
[ed: can you imagine a state senator getting so riled? :)]
============================================================================
And, last but not least, a few words of wisdom. It's true that
mankind does not live by bread alone, and we've pretty much proved that
axiom with these unusual masterpieces. To quote someone much smarter than
myself (hi, kalen!): "I am non-denominational --- I accept all forms of
currency. So, open your hearts and empty your pockets!"
A wonderful sentiment, don't you think?
If you should find it in your hearts to like what we are doing here,
and would like to help us stay in business AND solvent, please send your
non-tax-deductible donations in whatever amount pleases you to:
caren park
2557 Fourteenth Avenue West
Suite 501
Seattle, Washington 98119
(01 January 1992)
We will acknowledge, in print, those with the warmest thoughts for
our survival...
We leave you now with a few thoughts...
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bosses are like dirty diapers: Full of shit and all over your ass
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
We cannot tell the precise moment when friendship is formed. As in
filling a vessel drop by drop, there is at last a drop which makes it run
over; so in a series of kindnesses there is at last one which makes the
heart run over
- Boswell -
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
The mind has a thousand eyes,
And the heart but one;
Yet the light of a whole life dies,
When love is done
- Bourdillon -
...until next month...
