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The Hogs of Entropy 0997
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ggg "Why 2K? A Misanthropic Editorial" ggg
$$$ by -> Meenk E. Boodle $$$
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$$$ [ HOE E-Zine #997 -- 12/25/99 -- http://www.hoe.nu ] .,$$$
`"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""'
Do not proffer sympathy to the mentally ill; it is a
bottomless pit. Tell them firmly, "I am not paid to
listen to this drivel -- you are a terminal fool!"
Otherwise, they make you as crazy as they are.
- William S. Burroughs, "Words of Advice for Young People"
As much as I abhor whining, I would like to be set straight on one
singular point. Why do I have to put up with you people? Of course,
gentle reader, I don't mean you personally, unless you happen to fall
into the category of people I intend to outline below. I am not going for
insult here, so much as an objective characterization of what I see the
majority as. Let me state in advance, for the record, I am not claiming
superiority over the rest of you, as I may be just as wrong in my
judgments and choices as anyone else. This is not a disclaimer. I simply
want to ascertain that we are seeing eye to eye, or keyboard to terminal,
as the case may be. You all tend to misunderstand unless something is
illustrated for you, colour coded, and neatly labeled in plain block
letters. Even then, confusion and frustration is often the outcome of
anything that does not directly stimulate a pleasure center in the brain.
To be sure this essay remains crystal clear, I will even denote sarcasm
by _emphasizing_ key words, just to be sure your mediocre little minds
pick up on it.
In this decade of self, I find myself being bombarded with other
people's problems. I am not referring to the issues caused by myself, as
I take responsibility for my actions when I am aware of my fuck up. The
problems in question have nothing to do with me. It is selfish of me to
put it that way, but I am merely taking advantage of the current trend of
being deeply self absorbed. So why am I being so harsh on the rest of the
poor souls that are as self absorbed as I?
Honesty. I have no qualms about coming out and saying that
everything I do is for my own pleasure, or to ensure there will be more
pleasure to be had. I am sure some of you that read this will think I am
a hypocritical bitch for putting other people down for something I,
myself, am guilty of. If you happen to be one of these people, you are
wrong. I am not putting anyone down for being into self, but for trying
to appear virtuous in their pompous behaviour. That is a true hypocrite.
These people are on television, in newspapers, online, and in my
neighbourhood wailing about drama resulting from choices they made,
waiting for me to dub them a victim. In the past, when I would try to be
empathetic, I would often be forced into the dilemma of coming across as
insincere, which I am NOT, or having to shoulder some of the
responsibility of fixing the situation at hand. Thank the powers that be,
television is one-sided.
I blame the bible as one of the primary sources of these people's
confusion, and my frustration. If the people that wrote that damn book
had to make most of the world's population feel guilty for everything
good, the least the could have done was set the day of reckoning for a
date that I wouldn't be around. Again, I am being self absorbed. I didn't
bite the damn apple. I don't even like apples. I just want the god I
don't believe in to make His damn zealots leave me alone. I am a good (if
not moral) person and I really don't deserve to be cast into a state of
mental distress because a bunch of people are frantic about the end of
the world. In particular, I am concerned about anyone whom I have never
harmed deciding to make me the target of their self-righteous need to "do
God's will". I can guarantee I will not harm you in doing my will, so
keep me out of any plans you may have in yours, or anyone else's. If you
were meant to end, or in anyway control my life, YOU would be the one
writing this file right now. I don't need to atone for everyone else's
sins, and I will not be a martyr for anything, particularly something I
do not endorse. If you feel the need to give pennance for being a jerk in
the past, please convert someone who wants it, or kill the only person
you can legally kill and get away with: you.
The second primary factor in the pre-millenial frenzy is the "Y2K
Bug". Again, something created in the past, affecting my life
unnecessarily. The bug, being an unprecedented consequence of some geek's
laziness, is, like the possible ensuing armageddon, something beyond my
control. I cannot fix a broken bank account, power outage, or a 50
million minute, Y2K-altered phone bill. If ruffians are in the street
taking advantage of the electronically weakened society, please bear in
mind that I don't know how to use a gun, don't have a gun, and probably
wouldn't let you in my house should you seek my protection. I am a firm
believer in every man for himself, and now in this liberated day and age,
every woman for herself. Just don't forget your dependents. All I can
offer is a hug and maybe some soda. If you only come away with one thing
from this, let it be the following: TAKE RESPONSIBILITY, STOP WHINING. If
everyone followed that bit of advice, the world would function far more
smoothly, and we would all be saner to boot.
Third, and somewhat minor, though of increasing importance as the
sands of this year sift through the hourglass, is the holiday itself. New
Year's Eve and Day are the celebration of out with the old and in with
the new. For some reason, January 1st, 2000 is a big deal aside from the
previously listed reasons. Is it because a year with three consecutive
zeroes only happens once every thousand years? What about 1999? three
consecutive nines only happens once every thousand years, at least until
the year 9990. Is it because it is the start of something new? A clean
slate? When the clock rolls around to the 21st century, things won't
magically change. I sincerely doubt any resolutions anyone makes this
year will be held more sacred than those made last year, simply because
it is for the year 2000. I don't make resolutions. Why should I wait for
a particular date to make a commitment to bettering myself? How the hell
do people manage to fuck up a promise they make TO THEMSELVES, FOR
THEMSELVES, ONCE IN A GODDAMN YEAR? I am implying that people make the
same resolution many years in a row because from what I have seen, people
fail miserably before the end of January, and somehow think the next year
they will be more capable of becoming less fat/mean/ugly/stupid.
I understand that few people these days have the coping or social
skills to be a successful, functioning member of society, and that it
isn't their fault. I come from the same broken civilization. I have just
come to terms with the fact that I couldn't manage, and fixed it. Being
feeble and inept are signs of mental illness. Seek professional help,
retard. Thank you.
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[ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #997, BY MEENK - 12/25/99 ]
