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The Hogs of Entropy 0988
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$$$ by -> AnonGirl $$$
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$$$ [ HOE E-Zine #988 -- 12/23/99 -- http://www.hoe.nu ] .,$$$
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After writing the first weak version of my thoughts on public
transportation, I came to realize I'd left out quite a few factors that
need to be covered. Last time I discussed the three main types of people
on the bus: the sick bastards, the odors, and the "mentally different".
However, I feel I missed a few things.
Normally, there are forty seats allocated for forty people, and
the rest stand or lie down or whatever. Unless you weigh 700lbs,
everyone who has a seat is sure to be reasonably comfortable where they
are. Unfortunately, there's a small breed of young men who feel the need
to not only have one seat for their behind, but one on each side for
their legs, and so that "their balls don't get squished". I understand
that that area on a man is sensitive, but unless he has elephantitis of
the nuts, the space he has is good enough for his ass, his legs, and his
precious manhood.
Next comes On-Board Regurgitation. Puking, in general, isn't a
happy thought, but spewing on the bus/train/subway is neither the time or
place to do so. I know, it's not much of a controllable situation, but
anyone who is over the age of 6 can usually manage to find a safe place
to throw up. It's especially disagreeable because no matter how much
it's cleaned, the vehicle will always and forever-more emit the foul
stench of puke.
If Martin Luther could've posted 95 theses on Public
Transportation, the following would be just a few from the list:
1. Those who choose to wear cologne or perfume must agree not to
marinate in it beforehand.
2. God forgives none who touch themselves or others while riding
public transportation.
3. Whether or not one decides to bathe is not an option in the
case of public transportation.
4. He who wipes his runny nose is not permitted to touch any
section of the vehicle at all times.
5. People do not want to be spoken to while using public
transportation, as friendly as they may seem.
6. If one must blare their Walkman at 200db, it cannot, and can
never be playing M2M.
7. All punk-ass bitches who wear their pants hanging off their
ass and suck their teeth at innocent commuters will be executed at
gunpoint.
8. Each parent must have on their person at least one muzzle for
every child they bring on board.
9. You are not the most important person to ever exist, believe
it or not.
And finally,
10. No one wants to see your penis.
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[ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #988, BY ANONGIRL - 12/23/99 ]
