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The Hogs of Entropy 0992
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ggg "Stalker Chicks of the 1960s" ggg
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$$$ [ HOE E-Zine #992 -- 12/25/99 -- http://www.hoe.nu ] .,$$$
`"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""'
Most people probably think that the generation of the 90s is the
most insane yet, but I beg to differ. Sure, there are lots of nutjobs
out there these days, but many people fail to look back in time, if
they're looking for answers as to why people are so crazy today.
Stalking, for example, has become a prominent issue in our day.
The stalker will do anything to get the attention of his or her prey, to
such extremes as cutting off a piece of their body (i.e. an ear lobe or
finger), and sending it to the person they obsess over, believing they'll
take it as flattery. In most cases, the person who receives the
dismembered part isn't all that flattered. In fact, they're usually
traumatized for a good number of weeks, if not months.
Take, for example, the female bubble gum singers of the 1960s.
On the surface they seem playful and harmless, but beneath this shiny
veneer lies a dark, horrifying truth. A good number of these women were
most likely totally obsessed over whoever they were writing about. Take
these lyrics for example, from the song "I Will Follow Him", by Little
Peggy March:
"I will follow him,
follow him wherever he may go
There isn't an ocean too
deep A mountain so high it can keep me away
I must follow him, ever since he touched my hand I knew
That near him I always must be
And nothing can keep him from me
He is my destiny"
So you picture this girl who's up late at night writing in her
diary about the dreamy guy she's just met. But check this out:
"I love him, I love him, I love him
And where he goes I'll follow, I'll follow, I'll follow
He'll always be my true love, my true love, my true love
>From now until forever, forever, forever"
That's the part of the song where she's just about shrieking her
love for "him", where all these crazy violins are playing, much like the
famous track in the 1960s thriller "Psycho". This is most likely when
had slipped into a demented love trance and just began scrawling
aimlessly all over the page. Plus the song makes her seem like a bionic
automaton with this one guy as its target, like the Terminator, walking
slowly but steadily over mountains and through oceans (like Skinner in
that episode where Bart skips school), just to be near this guy.
So, if you're ever caught in the situation where a girl or guy is
sending you notes or singing messages on your answering machine that
sound like, "There isn't an ocean too deep/A mountain so high it can
keep, keep me away/Away from my love", a restraining order will hopefully
do the trick.
Next on the list is "Which Way You Goin', Billy?", by the Poppy
Family. This is a good example of the persistent, yet not-so-dangerous
stalker. Even though this song was released in 1970, it still has the
60s Stalker feel to it.
"Which way you goin' Billy?
Can I go too?
Which way you goin' Billy?
Can I go with you?
I really love you, Billy
And all this time
I thought you loved me, Billy
And you were mine
I'm gonna miss you, Billy
And though I'm trying
I'm hurting so bad, Billy
I can't help crying
Whoever it was who wrote these lyrics seems pretty heartbroken,
yes, but she could hold back on saying "Billy" every second line. I
think "Billy" got the point the first time he was asked which way he's
goin'. A crisp, clean smack across the face will usually save you from
this kind of situation.
Next is quite the dangerous stalker. "One Fine Day", performed by
the Chiffons and written by Carole King, shows that these chicks will go
to the extreme to get their men.
"One fine day, you'll look at me
And you will know our love was, meant to be
One fine day, you're gonna want me for your girl
The arms I long for, will open wide
And you'll be proud to have me, right by your side
One fine day, you're gonna want me for your girl
Though I know you're the kind of boy
Who only wants to run around
I'll keep waiting, and, someday darling
You'll come to me when you want to settle down,
Oh!
One fine day, we'll meet once more
And then you'll want the love you threw away before
One fine day, you're gonna want me for your girl"
Chicks like this don't get the picture the first time they're
dumped, and resort to taking desperate measures, like brainwashing the
poor lad into loving her and such. This is the type of girl who leaves
messages on his answering machine by the hundreds, sends him gifts, sends
him Valentines all year round, and eventually bumps into him on the
street with his new girlfriend and beats them both to death with her
handbag.
Where are these singers today? Dead, in jail for violating
restraining orders, or living happily with her stalkee in the
dungeon-like basement of her parents' house with the guy chained up to
the wall, being fed baked beans and water once a day. Don't be fooled,
though, these weren't the only singers who were of the persistent kind.
They were everywhere back then, and has resulted in probably a good
portion of the insanity we see today.
It's no wonder Neil Sedaka found that breaking up is hard to do.
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[ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #992, BY ANONGIRL - 12/25/99 ]
