Copy Link
Add to Bookmark
Report
The Hogs of Entropy 0974
,...
$$$$
$$$$T""P$$$ba, ,gd&P""T&bg. ,gd&P""T&bg.
ggggggggggg $$$$ $$$$$b d$$$$ $$$$b d$$$$ $$$$$b ggggggggggg
""""""""""" $$$$ $$$$$$ $$$$$ $$$$$ $$$$$bxxP&$$&P """""""""""
$$$$ $$$$$$ T$$$$ $$$$P T$$$$
$$$"""""" " """" $$$$$$ "T&$bxxd$&P" "T&$bxx$$$$$' " """"""$$$
""" """""" """
ggg "A Day in the Life of LeetNLow" ggg
$$$ by -> Meeyoww $$$
$$$ $$$
$$$ [ HOE E-Zine #974 -- 12/18/99 -- http://www.hoe.nu ] .,$$$
`"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""'
"Tap. Tap tap. TaptaptaptappptaptapTap-pa-tap-pa-TAPtaptap.--
--taPataPAtaptaptappatapataptap"
"Could you please stop that? I'm trying to write something here."
"So? What does my tapping have to do with your ability to write?"
"Well", (sigh) "I'm trying to concentrate. Do you mind?!?"
"Hmph. You're just lame. Can't you just /ignore me?"
"Haahhaha. You geek. You know you've spent too much time on IRC
when..."
"When what? You should talk. At least I don't waste my
time..nevermind."
"Nevermind what? Tell me. Or are you afraid I'll kick your ass
if you say what you're thinking. C'mon. Say it."
"No."
"SAY it."
"No."
"Damn it. C'mon, I dare you. Say IT!"
"Fine. It."
"You are SO dead. I'mma put my foot up yo' ass. I knew you didn't
have anything to say in the first place. Beiotch."
"Whatever."
"Don't you 'whatever' me. I've killed people for less."
"Yeah, whatever. With what, your breath? Hahaaa."
"Bitch. It only stinks when I kiss you."
"That's because I kissed you first, assface!"
"Yeah? Well you're the one dating an assface. That's part of the
package, babe."
"Package? What package? Your "package" was returned to sender,
Tiny Tim."
"Tiny Tim? Shugga, please. You know damn well that I've got it
goin' oooon"
"Whatever."
"Whatever."
"That's no way to start this thing off," Jerry thought. "Man, I
need an original idea. Something that I can really capitalize on.
Something that will show them that I am a WRITER! A serious writer. A
writer to be taken seriously. I will show them all that I, Jerry, am no
longer content to hang out around the fringes of this scene. I shall no
longer be the stereotypical outsider looking in. Whatever it takes, man,
I'm gonna fit in. I need to fit in. They need me like I need them.
Yeah. My wit, my charm, my sarcastic outlook on life, my finesse with
the ladies; they NEED me, and I'll make them WANT me so bad they can
taste it. I can slack my way inside that circle and use my skillz to make
them my bitches. I want to be known, far and wide, near and far, forever
and eternally as 'LeetNLow': writersexgodextraordinaire. Yeah, baby,
grrrr! Hahaa."
/join #ezines
<LeetNLow> 'sup HOEs
<tashy> my generation needs a name
<LeetNLow> how 'bout generation sex?
<tashy> that's dumb
<LeetNLow> hahah. be my bitch, phairgirl.
<LeetNLow> i write t-filez, therefore i am.
<oregano2k> i see.
<meeyoww> i want that fuzzy stuffed animal thing from the levi's
sta-prest commercials. he's neat-o.
-> *phairgirl* your silence makes me think that you are not interested in
being ma' bitch.
<oregano2k> i'm sure that you'll be able to get it soon, meeyoww. i'd
bet they'll be in stores soon.
<meeyoww> damn it, oregano. i only want it because i can't have it!*#@
<LeetNLow> i can be your fuzzy animal, meeyowowow, and i can stuff you
real good, too.
<meeyoww> hahah. die.
-> *tashy* tashy sounds foreign >:>~ are you a hot, exotic russian babe?
'cause if you are, i can keep you warm on those siberian
nights. hehe.
<LeetNLow> all yall hot bitchez need my 'leet lovin. haha. "you be havin'
my baby, babaay"
*** You were kicked from #ezines by swisspope (Behave)
*** #ezines can't join channel (you're banned)
"Ah fuckin' deja-voodoo. Maannnnn, how'm I ever gonna get opz and
propz if they keep banning me," mumbled Jerry.
"I've got an idea. Heh, yeah. I know."
-> *mogel* hey man, could'ja help a fellow literary bro out?
*** #ezines can't join channel (you're banned)
*** #ezines can't join channel (you're banned)
*** #215 can't join channel (invite only)
*** #leet can't join channel (invite only)
"Maaaaaaaaann. This sucks, dude. Hmm. They know they want me.
Hahah. I guess I could just finish the file that I started earlier and
submit that to Mogel. Maybe he'll let me back in once I've shown him
what a k-rad writer I am. I'm so leet, man, it hurts. Hehe. Let's get
this writin' on, Brotha Jerr," he said to no one in particular. Jerry
went out into the kitchen to get a cold Millie from the fridge, and sat
back down in front of his smoke-stained ibm color monitor, taking care
not to disturb the pile of fur otherwise known as Bob that was sleeping
under his chair. Bob was more than just a cat to Jerry. Bob was a
friend, a good listener, and a fellow player. The only difference really,
was that Bob had the kind of bodily flexibility that Jerry could only
dream of someday having.
-> *mogel* c'mon man, lemme back in. "take a chance on me" ...ahhaha.
come on, dooud. lemme in.
*** #ezines can't join channel (you're banned)
*** #ezines can't join channel (you're banned)
"Gerald? Geeeeerald? It's dinner time, honey. Come downstairs
and eat."
"In a minute, Ma."
"Goddamnit, Gerald, get your fat ass up from that chair and away
from that blasted computer for dinner. Don't make me send your father up
there."
"I'm coming, Ma."
-> *mogel* l8r, doud. i'll send my mad flava to ya tonite in my file.
it's almost done. you'll post it, right?
"NOW, Gerald. Your shepard's pie is getting cold!"
"I'll be there in just a sec, dad."
*** Disconnected
"Daaaad? What the hell?!"
"Watch that mouf, Boy. I've got no problem with rearranging that
ugly ass face of yours. Now go on down and eat that nice supper that
your momma done fix for you."
"Yes sir. I'll be right down, sir."
"I'll show them all," whispered Jerry under his breath. He pushed
in the chair to his desk, making sure that the legs of the chair were now
pressing tightly against Bob's curled body. "Meeoww?" "Shut up, fur
ass," Jerry hissed as he turned off the lightswitch on the wall and went
downstairs to pretend to enjoy his shephard's pie dinner.
[--------------------------------------------------------------------------]
[ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #974, BY MEEYOWW - 12/18/99 ]
