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The Hogs of Entropy 0962
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ggg "J Paws and the Sad" ggg
$$$ by - Uberfizzgig $$$
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$$$ [ HOE E-Zine #962 -- 12/16/99 -- http://www.hoe.nu ] .,$$$
`"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""'
It was a Thursday morning in Cleveland. Everyone expected it to be
a regular Thursday morning, even though there was no advertising allowed
today. If there's one thing Drew Carrey did as mayor that would be
remembered, it was to ban all advertising on Thursday. This opened up all
the local stations to re-air old radio broadcasts of football games the
Browns won. But even with all this, people were expecting it to be a
regular Thursday. They were eating their eggs and cereals, and listening
to the garbage trucks hoisting the dumpsters outside their apartment
buildings.
The noise of garbage always woke up J Paws, not because the
process of urban garbage collection by machine was noisy, but because J
Paws was not quite sleepy enough to remain in bed anymore by the time
things could be heard. Today however, J Paws heard a different sound. A
subtle rumbling behind the noise of garbage. It was going to be a great
Thursday.
Last night at the bar, J Paws put $20 in the Jukebox and selected
all the songs no one in the bar other than himself liked. It took awhile
to select all those songs, and he had to leave before the first one was
over. He was that kind of person, but unlike other people of that type, J
Paws had recently thrown 1000 octopus high up into the stratosphere.
They'd be in orbit as long as the Jukebox played, or as long as their
velocity held. J Paws wasn't sure if it was music or physics that
governed the octopus, but he was sure it was the Sad that governed him.
The Sad is what made J Paws do all those little things. Because of
the Sad, he would save up all the extra packets of taco sauce and catsup
he'd get from Taco Bell and McDonalds. They could be used later, and it
was wasteful to just throw them out. There would be enough time to count
them all and see if any were missing in his sleep. The amount and
position of condiments was more important to J Paws than when they had
been used, and he could only remember them in his sleep. Sleep that night
went well again for J Paws, and waking up went even better. It was
Thursday, and while the garbage trucks were hoisting the dumpsters, 1000
octopus rained down on the city of Cleveland. This Thursday was
different. J Paws was governed by the octopus now. That night he would
remember using up all his condiments.
THE END.
Author's note: this story contains NO metaphors or symbolism.
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[ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #962, BY UBERFIZZGIG - 12/16/99 ]
