The Hogs of Entropy 0945

Published in

· 5 years ago

  

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 $$$        [ HOE E-Zine #931 -- 12/08/99 -- http://www.hoe.nu ]     .,$$$ 
 `"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""' 

	Hey, you.  You're reading this, so I'm assuming you got out of bed 
 this morning, or at least this afternoon.  My question: Why? 
	Why get out of bed?  Why bother to do anything at all?   
 Eventually you're just going to have to grow up and get a job, unless you 
 happen to be independently wealthy, in which case I suggest you stop 
 reading this, and go snort cocaine off of the round, indolent bellies of 
 high-priced call girls or something. 
	So.  You're either not independently wealthy, or not smart enough 
 to go away and spend your money on something fun.  Let's assume that you 
 will some day have to work for your living, and work at something other 
 than not pissing your father off so badly that he disowns you.  Now at 
 this point, you have two options.  You can either go the education route 
 and spend a minimum of four years at college, or you can get a job as 
 soon as possible. 
	Now, if you've gotten a job, you're fucked already.  For one 
 thing, you threw away a perfectly good opportunity to spend at least four 
 years drinking and smoking phatty nugs while complaining about how hard 
 your life is.  Now, don't get me wrong, college can be an utter bitch 
 sometimes, but it's nowhere near as frustrating as spending an entire day 
 asking people if they want fries with that.  You can look forward to 
 doing pointless, meaningless, slightly demeaning tasks for the rest of 
 your life. 
	So let's assume you go to college.  Great.  You get to put off 
 real life for at least four more years, if you don't rilly fuck up.  But 
 some day, some how, you're going to graduate.  And what then?  You're 
 either going to have some pointless job in Academia where you'll do 
 research on something that no one other than you and the five other 
 people in you're absurdly specialized field will care about, or you'll be 
 working on creating some unneeded consumer good that the huge, uncaring 
 corporation you work for can sell to the masses so that we can all 
 convince ourselves that capitalism works. 

	If I were you, I'd start drinking heavily right now. 

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