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The Hogs of Entropy 0948
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$$$ by -> Captain Bovine $$$
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$$$ [ HOE E-Zine #948 -- 12/08/99 -- http://www.hoe.nu ] .,$$$
`"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""'
Spot groaned as he rolled over to answer his ringing phone. Who
could be calling at this hour?, he thought as he glanced at the digital
clock sitting on his horribly ugly beatnik night table. "Hello," he said
in his monotone voice, not really caring who it was on the other end.
Probably AT&T again, he thought gloomily.
"Good morning sir," said a chipper voice on the other end. Spot
groaned again. He knew this voice too well. "I'm calling on behalf of
AT&T, and would like to inform you about our new long distance pricing
plans. May I ask how much you spend on long distance calls monthly?"
"One day I'll kill you," said Spot in a matter of fact kind of
voice.
"Very good sir," the voice said. "Did you know that you can get
all your long distance calls for a mere twelve cents a minutes if you
switch over to AT&T..." the voice droned on, not frazzled by the death
threat one bit. Spot suspected that it was a common thing for them to
hear.
"No really," Spot said, cutting the voice off mid-way through what
it had been saying. "I will kill you one day."
"Very good sir, but did you know that our long distance plans are
the best around..." the voice continued on.
Spot listened to the voice for two hours. As much as he hated it
when AT&T would call him, he didn't want to hurt the voice's feelings by
hanging up, or telling the voice the truth, and that he never made any
long distance calls. None of his friends had phones, actually. They had
sold them for crack money months ago.
Spot grunted politely to the voice before hanging up. He wasn't
sure what the grunt meant, but so far the voice had called back every
time because of it, and Spot didn't want to break tradition.
Laying down again, Spot focused on going back to sleep. He had
just slipped into a dream about playing with his rubix cube, when the
phone rang again. How odd, Spot thought as he reached for the phone. They
usually wait at least an hour before calling back.
As soon as he picked up the phone, he knew the person on the other
end of the phone was Hysterical. What would I ever do without call
display, he thought.
"Oh Spot!" Mrs. Hysterical practically screamed at him as soon as
he picked up the phone. Her voice was frantic and whiney. She almost
sounded like she was on the verge of hysteria. "It's Jo-Jo! He's run away
to join the circus!"
Spot said nothing at first. His mind wandered. He had not believed
his psychic when she told him that he was about to go off on a long
adventure, yet now it felt almost inevitable. Cursing himself for not
playing the lottery numbers she had given him, he said into the phone
"Okay. I'll be right over."
This looked like it will be an interesting birthday after all, he
thought as he climbed out of bed. Very interesting indeed.
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[ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #948, BY CAPTAIN BOVINE - 12/08/99 ]
