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The Hogs of Entropy 0936
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ggg "Revival In My Panties!" ggg
$$$ by - CannibalButterfly $$$
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$$$ [ HOE E-Zine #936 -- 12/05/99 -- http://www.hoe.nu ] .,$$$
`"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""'
"Dude, Has anyone ever wondered if rain is just Jesus blowing a
serious load, duuuuude?"
He spreads my legs and slowly enters my holy church. I am his
Mary, but no longer a virgin. Pulsating me deeper and deeper until we
melt into each other. I yearn to scream and let it all out, but words
wont come to my lips. What should I say? My eyes roll to the back of my
head and I freeze.
I was recently invited to the hottest party of the year. Should I
go? Should I stay? Tough choice, especially since T.G.I.F is on the same
night. Egad! What shall a girl do? Boy Meets World? Girls just wanna have
fun? Boy Meets World? Girls just wanna have fun? Okay, okay. Cyndi Lauper
talked me into it. Fiesta!
I ran out the door and hopped on my beach cruiser. I'm one bad
mofo when I'm traveling in style! I immediately pedaled over to the newly
remodeled Big K-Mart. I needed a kickin' outfit for what was going to be
the most exciting night of my life. I ran to the plus size department and
picked out a slammin' pair of Kathy Lee jeans. They were painted on and
my ass was bumpin. I still needed a shirt, but there wasn't enough time
to pick one out. I didn't think the day would ever come, but it did. I
was going to resort to my emergency clothing source, a pack of Hanes her
Way t-shirts that I hid away in the chimney for a special occasion like
this. I'm going to be all that and a reduced fat can of Pringles!
After checking out and paying with my foods tamp credit card, I
rushed home. It was time to beautify! I combed the nap out of my afro and
douched. Damn, I was already looking pretty as a peach. I then got
together my outfit and put on my Reebok high-tops. Finally, I licked my
index finger and gently placed it on my right butt cheek. -sizzle sizzle-
I'm definitely going to be the Belle of the Ball!
The clock striked 8 and it was time for me to saddle up on my
beach cruiser again and head over to the affair. I got lost a few times,
but I finally arrived at the gates around 9. Two angels were at guard and
checking invitations. Err...of all the luck! No one told me this was a
costume party!
The get together was a blast, but all they had was bread and red
wine. They sure skipped out on making it a fancy event!
Anyways, in a few short hours, I was guzzling away and drunk as a
skunk. Clouds consumed me and electric jolts flew through my soul. Next
thing I knew I was in a bed with a man I don't even remember meeting. His
heavy breath was blowing in my ears while his body weight crushed me.
Throbbing and heavenly. My lips quivered and I began to scream
in pleasure.
"Oh God, Oh God, OHHH GOD!!"
He suddenly pushed himself off of me and threw his wife beater
back on. He lit a cigarette and began puffing away.
"So, you've been with my father, too!?"
"Huh? I've never been with your dad. What are you talking about?"
"Then why did you call out his name? To make some sort of demented
joke?"
I sat there in silence. Trembling in the darkness wondering how to
respond. What in the world is this man talking about?? If God is
supposedly his dad then he must be Jesus. Wow, I'm obviously
hallucinating! But what if he is actually Jesus? Should I get on my knees
and give him head or should I get on my knees and repent?? It would be a
sin to not do what he asks of me, but so would giving him a piece of the
booty without being married. I'll never win!
The room was quiet except for Jesus mumbling under his breath. I
couldn't make out everything he said, but the asshole had enough nerve to
accuse me of sleeping with Jonah and Moses!
After an hour of silence, he grabbed at his crotch and took the
last drag of another cigarette.
"Come drink of my fountain and make me weep bitch."
I was shocked, but immediately crawled his way and began bouncing
to his beat.
"HALLELUJAH!"
Minutes later, Jesus came in my eyes and mouth. He then forced me
to sing 'Amazing Grace' while gargling the cum. He wiped the sticky mess
off with cheap one-ply toilet paper and even scraped the dried up crust
off my eyelashes. Holy Swedish meat balls BatMan, it's true! Jesus does
make the blind see again!
Anyhoot, we quickly fell asleep in each other's arms and slept the
night away. I was finally woken up by Jesus yanking me by the hair. He
passionately looked me in my eyes and said....
"PSYCH, MY NAME IS BOB! HAHAHA"
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[ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #936 - BY CANNIBALBUTTERFLY - 12/05/99 ]
