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The Hogs of Entropy 0920
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$$$ by -> Weirdfreak $$$
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$$$ (* HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #920 -- 11/30/99 *) .,$$$
`"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""'
Recently, I have become known as the "Tom Green" of my school. Is
this good? I'm not quite sure yet. The "title" come with allot of
hardships and responsibilities. I do shit nobody else has the balls to.
It's all in good fun though. Well, some times it doesn't turn out so fun.
I will be telling you about two such experiences. Both dealing with girls
ending up hitting/smacking me. Enjoy...
*** Case 1: The Arabian Cow Killer
I was on the bus home from school one afternoon and I had the urge
to annoy somebody. I looked around, and I saw my target. Somebody had
leather on the bottom of their back pack. So do I, but who cares. I
leaned over the seat and said, "Do you know how many cows died for your
back pack?". He had no clue what I was talking about. I then started
rambling nonstop about the poor baby cows and how they bled on the grass
for his back pack. He was getting pissed. I had to go further though. I
sat back in my seat and chanted, "Cow Killer". I said it 15 - 20 times
and I noticed his sister was getting pissed. I didn't care, I just kept
on saying it. Then, out of no where, she jumped up and started swatting
at me. I was like "It was a joke! What the fuck are you doing!?!". Then I
remembered about the cow being sacred to the Muslims. I felt bad... nah,
it was still funny. Things settled down, but she started swatting at me
again when I got off the bus. It was crazy.. but all in the name of fun.
:)
Lesson Learned: Dead cows piss off Arabian chicks!
*** Case 2: The Quarter Hoe Turns Me Down
Yet again, I was on the bus ride home. This time I wasn't in a
really "annoy people mood"... ok, just not as much as normal. A whole
bunch of people were arguing about some girl and some doods sister and
some shit. There was yelling and all sorts of shit. I don't get involved
with those matters, but I do listen. Shit man, it's a long ride home. It
was dull as fuck, until I heard something I could use... "Then why you be
givin' head fo' a cota?". In case you not down with the "jive" that
translates too, "They why did you give oral sex to somebody for a
quarter?". Make more sense? I thought so. Any ways, I fished around my
pockets and found it... A nice shiny quarter. I had to wait for the right
moment. It got quit for a second so I stood over the seat, a flashed it
at her... "I gotta quarter right here for you baby!". Then it came! Five
punches to my head. That didn't hurt though, the worst part was she
crunched my soda can and it got on my new cargo pants, along with wasting
half the soda! She was so mad... but it was all in the name of fun...
right?
Lesson Learned: Quarter Hoes don't always do it for a quarter!
*** Kudos go out to Ryan and Justin for keepin' me sane on the bus
and always providing me with shit to piss people off!
Latez!
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[ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #920, WRITTEN BY WEIRDFREAK - 11/30/99 ]
