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The Hogs of Entropy 0898

eZine's profile picture
Published in 
The Hogs of Entropy
 · 5 years ago

  


(~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~)
(*) (*) * (*)~*~(*) HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #898
* 0 0 ~ 0 *
~ 0 0 ~* *~ 0 hOGS ~ "Pumpcon Awards"
( 0*~*~*0 ( ) 0*~*~ oF )
~ 0 0 ~ ~ 0 eNTROPY ~ by Slawz
* 0 0 * * 0 * 11-7-99
(*) (*) ~ (*)~*~(*)
(~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~)

Well kids, another Pumpcon has come and gone. I am introducing a new
tradition this year, since this is the first year I was somewhat involved
with running it, Pumpcon Awards!@#.

It was as a whole a pretty successful con I guess, if you could call
it that. It'd be better off labelled as a binge drinking and drugging
festival. This year there was a fistfight (if you can call it that, it
looked more like rockem sockem robots.) and a new bartab record, somewhere
along the lines of $9000 for the 48 hours we occupied the bar.

These awards are judged solely by me, and other ghetto.org members.

--slawz

P.S. See the bottom for the Pumpcon Sexchart

[-----]

Top Ten Coolest People

1. case (World record holder for number of times "BITCH MAINTAIN" screamed.)
2. andrea (Great personality)
3. swern ("Take a shower with me!")
4. ophie (JD Chugging Champ)
5. juliet (Vodka Chugging Champ)
6. U4EA
7. sw_r
8. angus
9. Devi0us (absent most of the con, even though he organized it. wtf?)
10. Nirva (Most piercings)

Honorable Mention: miff, xyg, and alpaca. Funny motherfuckers.
Also Joe630.


Top Ten Fags

1. ajax (He got owned and can't take it, "LOOK I HAVE A LEXUS, LOOK AT MY
KEYS")
1. Netkita (NO ONE LIKES YOU, SCRANTON TRASH. GET IT THROUGH YOUR SKULL)
2. tersian (mind your own business)
3. l4rry (Way too sweaty)
4. Miff (starting unnecessary fights, totally ruled otherwise)
4. Alpaca (see above. also spitting)
5. Joe630 (only because he's gay)
6. Mindscrew (owes me 50 bucks bitch)
7. sdr (Walking talking chicken mcnugget)
8. z0rch (40 year old gimp who almost got us kicked out of our room for
taking the screens off the windows)

Honorable Mention: Mogel (Pajama Wearing Mute)


Biggest Poop Award: sw_r (4 bottles of beer in mb, 4 bottles of beer!)

Most Vomit Award: Gaunt (BLERGH)

Worst Couple (or coupling u could say): sw_r + kt
Honorable Mention: atreyu + netkita

Drunkest Person: kubiak

Biggest Hangover: sw_r

Best Boy Band: 31337 Degrees (JOEY Z)

Best Coked Up Speech: Angus

Best Assault on a Police Officer: U4EA

Best WWF Move: tersian

Worst Fighting Ability: ajax

Funniest Ajax Fighting Impersonation: Swern + Alpaca (ROCKEM SOCKEM ROBOTS)

Most Mulch Eaten: dk

Gayest Car: ajax

Coolest Car: slawz

Coolest Newcomers: eubern1g, ju1ce

Most Annoying: sdr

Best Ass: ophie

Best Eyes: L0ra

Best Face: andrea

Best Breasts: Joe630

Best Beard: kt

Most Charming: L0ra

Best Hair Color: shinex

Best Personality: andrea

Best Conversationalist: andrea

Best Dressed: ophie

Most Diseases Spread: L0ra

Best Trinket to Pick up Dates: L0ra + her candy necklace

Best Sex Chart Tally: L0ra

Biggest Nerd: Vaxbuster (like 8 years running)

Biggest Toadie: sdr ("What kind of sub do you want U4EA?")

Scariest Dude: Ludi (Like 8 years running)

Biggest Flirt: L0ra

Biggest Mack: Frank

Worst Pickup Line: Joe630 ("Have you ever considered modelling?")

Worst Sales Pitch: Joe630 ("BUY MY MAGAZINES OR EMMANUEL WILL RAPE ME")

Worst Driving: Joe630

Most Obviously Drunk Minor: bellum

Best Fire Alarm Pull: krypt

Gayest Rave: iXOM

Best Line at the Bar: sw_r (I want a shot of your cum)

Best Portrayal of a Mute: angieb

Loudest Person: case (BITCH MAINTAIN)

Funniest Use of Urine: case (want some lemonade??)

Gayest License Plates: Joe630

Gayest Outfit: Mogel

Best No-Show: nac.net faggots

Nice Guy: davd

Bald Faggot: ajax

Official Bar of Pumpcon: B&W Sports Bar, Center City Best Western,
Philadelphia, PA

Official Drink of Pumpcon: Rusty Nails

Official Bottled Beer of Pumpcon: Yeungling Lager

Official Canned Beer of Pumpcon: Guiness

Official Shot of Pumpcon: jaegermeister

Official Cheese Steak of Pumpcon: Jim's Steaks (WIZ WITH!)


Pumpcon Sex Chart

,-------------------,
| |
l0ra--simpleton |
| | |
| | |
Swern-------u4ea----Joe630
/ |
| |
| loki
| |
| |
\ ophie----juliet
\
mb----kt----eubern1g

(~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~)
( *(c) hOGS oF eNTROPY pRESS* HOE #898 ~ WRITTEN BY: SLAWZ ~ 11/7/99 )

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