Copy Link
Add to Bookmark
Report
The Hogs of Entropy 0822
[--------------------------------------------------------------------------]
ooooo ooooo .oooooo. oooooooooooo HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #822
`888' `888' d8P' `Y8b `888' `8
888 888 888 888 888 "The Most/Least Fuckable
888ooooo888 888 888 888oooo8 Cartoon Characters"
888 888 888 888 888 " by Hardcore
888 888 `88b d88' 888 o 9/1/99
o888o o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8
[--------------------------------------------------------------------------]
Yes, this list is pointless. But we don't care;) This list was done
by Hardcore, and (Astrotart and Jokah^.) You can find all of us on
efnet, ;}
[-----]
Top Ten Most Fuckable Female Cartoon Characters (Hardcore's list)
- quinn (Dumb, whore cheerleader type...I never had one in real life...
so why not try a cartoon one:))
- aeon flux (imagine what sexual positions you can get her into...and have
you seen her tongue?....damn..and a fine body too!)
- josie and the pussycats (did you see the way they handled those
instruments? now those are some nice pussy......
cats...)
- jessica rabbit (any cartoon character willing to show her crotch on film
is top 10 in my book!)
- teenage pebbles (she got pretty hot when she became a teenager in the
later episodes of the Flinstones...I'd like to bam bam
her.)
- snow white (she is used to those dwarfs...so she'd think i have a big
dick)
- goth girl (there is something about girls with pale faces and piercings..
that drives me crazy!)
- daphne (sorry, Fred and Shaggy, and Scoooooby...immma shag her rotten)
- judy jetson (eek ork oop ah ah)
- she-ra (i could use a good work out with this buff beauty :})
[-----]
Top Ten Least Fuckable Female Cartoon Characters (Hardcore's list)
- mamma cass (Remember when Mamma Cass guest star'd on Scooby Doo?...well
I don't think there is enough flour in the world to find
the wet spot on her.)
- daisy duck (She is one hairy bitch...too many feathers for my liking
or licking.)
- The Powerpuff girls (i'm not that sick...they are only in kindergarten..
I have to wait about 12 more years for them:))
- Wednesday Addams (She's a little too morbid for me...she'd prolly kill
me and have sex with my dead body)
- tinkerbell (oh boy is she cute. But the problem is, too tiny. She'd
be torn apart if you had sex with her.)
- rosie the robot (She is made of metal, unless your dick is made of steel,
stay the fuck away!)
- velma (she's a man...baby....)
- smurfette (she's the only female in the village, she is used more than a
public bathroom and prolly just as dirty.)
- marge simpson (the thought of her having orgasm just scares me. It would
sound like a 50 year old man who smokes alot screaming.
big big turn off!)
- april o'neil (she had sex with all the turtles...turtles carry a lot of
disease. No Thanks!)
[-----]
Top Ten Most Fuckable Female Cartoon Characters (Jokah^'s list)
- daria (oh my god, you know she has to be an awesome fuq... once she takes
off those glasses she'll turn into a wild jackalope in heat.)
- jessica rabbit (three words: GIGANTIC CARTOON BOOBIES)
- april o'neil (reporter chiq from teenage mutant ninja turtles.. mmmm
gotta luv that sessy jumpsuit... didn't you just wanna give
that zipper down the middle a good *tug*?)
- ALL* girls from archie comics in a huge orgy of big busted high schoolers
(mmmm... veronica... betty.... midge... the pussycats.... *drool*)
* excluding big ethel! ewwwww, that shit's nasty....
- wilma & betty (but only at the same time & with kinky stoneage sex toys)
- Wonder Woman (yeah, yeah.. she's on everyone's list.. how can you
possibly leave the queen of cartoon bondage off your list?)
- strawberry shortcake & friends (mmmm... they all smell so damn tasty! i
wonder if they smell like that "down
there" too?)
- velma (before you go saying what a nasty ho she is, think about this:
this chiq _knows how to suck cock_. she's been practicing on
dildos since age 12 and has been dying to get her hands on a real
one ever since..... claims that she's a dyke are wildly
exaggerated-she's just more open-minded than most women.)
- snow white (she's gotta be fed up with those tiny dwarf dicks, think how
much she'll love the full-sized version.)
- blondie & daughter (wife/daughter of dagwood... holy crap these two blonde
big-busted beauties never fail to give me a little
thrill whenever I read the funnies. once they showed
blondie in her underwear! i had a boner all day!)
[-----]
Top Ten Least Fuckable Female Cartoon Characters (Jokah^'s list)
- smurfette (nasty std-riddled hobag! the loosest cartoon character ever
created, without a doubt.)
- betty boop (won't shut the fuck up and dances like a twit)
- tinkerbell (just a little too tight for my liking, thanks)
- big ethel (nasty skank ho)
- rosie (robot maid from the jetsons... sure i'm interested, but i'd rather
not short my circuits, if ya know what i mean....)
- minnie mouse (bitch)
- pebbles (YOU SICK FUCK, SHE'S A LITTLE BABY!)
- granny (the bitch that owns tweety bird... she was probably fuckable 50
years ago, but now she's just a withered old bag)
- marge simpson (she nags, she whines, she's got no boobs... wtf does homer
see in her? maybe she gives good head?)
- bugs bunny when dressed up as a chiq (bugs... don't do that shit, man.)
[-----]
Top Ten Most Fuckable Male Cartoon Characters (astrotart's list)
10. Plastic Man - I don't have much of an explanation for
this one though I'm sure he's very
promising with that expanding and stretching body.
9. Flint of G.I. Joe - I always had a thing for him and Lady J made me
jealous. However, I'd be willing to let her in
on a menage a trois.
8. Gambit - I love the New Orleans/French accent he's working
there. My panties would be soaked even after
having him read off the ten commandments.
7. He-Man - He has fabulous secret powers that were revealed
to him the day he held aloft his magic sword and
said "BY THE POWER OF GRAYSKULL!". He's got the
strength of 100 men too and hopefully the sex
drive. Ok, so maybe he's bisexual, I don't care
as long as its a one time deal.
6. Spawn - He's scary looking but he can use those chains of
his on me anyday.
5. Dr. Claw of Inspector Gadget - Eventhough you never see his face or much
of anything for that matter, I'm gonna
guess he has some sort of amazing penis
attachment..hence, very fuckable.
4. Shaggy - The name says it all! He usually fucks up
but he's got the word 'shag' in his name,
he's atleast got to be good at that. A
Bonus might be that we'd get to fuck in
the mystery machine.
3. Batman - Oh man, I love the outfit and all the
mystery about him. He's all flexible
too which is good for all the positions
we'd try.
2. Space Ghost - What a dipshit, he has to be a really good
fuck. Also, I'd probably get to fuck him in
space...maybe while flying in mid-air.
1. The Tick - I'd just like the chance to hear him yell
out "SPOON!" when he orgasms.
[-----]
Top Ten Least Fuckable Male Cartoon Characters (astrotart's list)
10. Captain Caveman - Too short and too hairy.
9. Papa Smurf - He probably has so many STDs, even ones that haven't
been discovered yet thanks to that slam hound smurfette.
8. Johnny Bravo - He's way too into himself to be able to pleasure me.
7. Fred of Scooby Doo - Eventhough we all know he constantly fucks Daphne,
in my opinion he seems very gay with that scarf
around his neck and in reality, nails Daphne only in
the ass and well, that's just not my cup of tea.
6. Cobra Commander - He must be some guy's bitch the way he whines all the
time in that throaty voice of his.
5. George Jetson - Unattractive married man with children who can never
stand up for himself. He probably has a big dick to
make up for a lack of desirable traits, but I still
wouldn't do him.
4. Fred Flintstone - Probably has a tiny dick the way he's such a fucking
big mouth asshole.
3. Daffy Duck - Greedy bastard would probably cum on your face after
sucking his dick and then roll over and go to sleep.
2. Archie - Probably has crabs thanks to Betty and Veronica.
1. Superman - He'd probably break me in half with his superhero
dick and kill me dead with his superhero sperm.
[--------------------------------------------------------------------------]
[ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #822 - WRITTEN BY: HARDCORE - 9/1/99 ]
