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The Hogs of Entropy 0790
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ooooo ooooo .oooooo. oooooooooooo HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #790
`888' `888' d8P' `Y8b `888' `8
888 888 888 888 888 "I Don't Have Big Hair, Dammit"
888ooooo888 888 888 888oooo8 by Six
888 888 888 888 888 " (with special thanks to
888 888 `88b d88' 888 o Jon Bon Jovi)
o888o o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8 8/12/99
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Once upon a time
Not so long ago
What were you expecting? A big, curly helmet, sealed closed with
Aqua-Net? A backpack full of Poison and BonJovi CDs? Frosty pink lipstick
maybe? Ok, yes I live by 4 pizza shops, and there are 5 24 hour diners in
the 3 mile radius of my town. But, seriously, what is a "Jersey Girl"? In
my travels out of state when I am among a group of my uhm "peers" I am
automatically labeled the Jersey Girl. So what if I have the ability to
drive in rush hour traffic while applying my make up, and if someone cuts me
off I can curse out even the filthiest truck driver. I still don't think
that's it.
Tommy used to work on the docks
Union's been on strike
He's down on his luck...it's tough, so tough
Gina works the diner all day
Working for her man, she brings home her pay
For love -- for love
Last week when I was cruisin up the GSP (Garden State Parkway for you
Non-Jersey people) in my Camaro, with the t-tops off. I was getting a nice
dark tan in my guinea-t, I kept on my skin tight acid washed jeans to
prevent lines from my shorts... When the fringes on my boots got stuck on
that little lever that adjusts the seat. I was kind of stuck there so I
totally grinded out my trans slowing down with out the clutch until I able
to break free. So, there I am in the mall parking lot a clump of white
suede fringe ripped from my boots, oh the horror.
She says: We've got to hold on to what we've got
'Cause it doesn't make a difference
If we make it or not
We've got each other and that's a lot
For love -- we'll give it a shot
I'm not sure if it's the radiation leaking from the landfills, the
raw sewage, the medical waste in the water, or those non-stop toxic fires
under the Pulaski Skyway, but something has made me different from other
girls in other states. I mean so what if I like the kinda wine that has a
twist cap, and my prized possession is my Kip Winger issue of play girl.
Does that really make me so different? I love being from New Jersey, I'm
not hurt when people tease me about it. I think that they're just jealous.
The people that make jokes are just jealous! They come from states with no
personality. States with out ocean, boardwalks, Springstein, pork roll, egg
and cheese on a hard roll, saltwater taffy and jug-handles. There is a
point to this..
We're half way there
Livin' on a prayer
Take my hand and we'll make it -- I swear
Livin' on a prayer
I lock up my car, snap on the t-tops and roll up the tinted windows
and head on into the mall. I make my mandatory stop and jean country to see
if they have those stretchy jeans with the little zippers down the side.
Alas they still have not got them in stock. Of course my next stop is to Z.
Cavarricci. Once I buy that shirt like Jennifer Milles wore in "Flash
Dance" and some new white suede boots, it's time to go home.
Tommy got his six string in hock
Now he's holding in what he used
To make it talk -- so tough, it's tough
Gina dreams of running away
When she cries in the night
Tommy whispers: Baby it's okay, someday
This is really not a joke. I don't make fun of people from
Pennsylvania for their cheesetsteaks. Or people from Iowa for their corn..
I like corn. Maybe it's just that the rest of the country is full of PC
people, and the only thing in the world left that it's PC to make fun of is
New Jersey. "Hey Big Hair what exit do you live on".. I hate that
commercial.
We've got to hold on to what we've got
'Cause it doesn't make a difference
If we make it or not
We've got each other and that's a lot
For love -- we'll give it a shot
After hitting the diner for dinner, I headed back home to shower.
Three hours later once I got my hair nice and big, layered on all my
foundation and blue mascara I got back in the Camaro. Did I mentioned my
Camaro is named Bret after Bret Michaels from poison.. I have that PlayGirl
too! I swung by my friend Gina's house to pick up her and her boyfriend
Tony. We had to take off the T-tops again because Gina's hair was rubbing
against them.
We're half way there
Livin' on a prayer
Take my hand and we'll make it -- I swear
Livin' on a prayer
If all you people that think New Jersey is so bad and such a hell
hole hate it so much. Stay away never ever come here and don't even speak
to me about it. This state needs fewer people, especially the annoying kind
like yourselves.
We've got to hold on ready or not
You live for the fight when it's all that you've got
We swung down to Hunka Bunkas and danced the night away. I was so
angry when they didn't have bending straws for my beer.
We're half way there
Livin' on a prayer
Take my hand and we'll make it -- I swear
Livin' on a prayer
Bite Me. I don't have big hair, damnit.
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[ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #790 - WRITTEN BY: SIX - 8/12/99 ]
