Copy Link
Add to Bookmark
Report
The Hogs of Entropy 0776
[--------------------------------------------------------------------------]
ooooo ooooo .oooooo. oooooooooooo HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #776
`888' `888' d8P' `Y8b `888' `8 "The Biggest, Largest, Most
888 888 888 888 888 Exciting Heist of All Time,
888ooooo888 888 888 888oooo8 Part 7: The NATURE of the Heist"
888 888 888 888 888 " by Nybar
888 888 `88b d88' 888 o 8/2/99
o888o o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8
[--------------------------------------------------------------------------]
In the words of the real estate agent, the apartment is "small, but
comfortable." Nybar was indifferent to it; just a temporary base of
operations. Once they found the scepter, they could buy a mansion.
Nybar was peeling an orange with a knife. Jubjub was seated at the
kitchen table, next to the waitress (Dawn). Guy and Keith monitored the
building's comers and goers. Keith and Guy tended to talk a lot less (or at
least less brusquely) around Nybar after seeing him in action. This suited
Nybar just fine, but it's never good to have such big egos so paranoid.
When Nybar, in course of talking to Jubjub, slammed his knife in the table
as a method of punctuating his speech, they nearly jumped.
The conversation that caused Nybar to go to this length in his
gesticulations ran like this:
"Okay, so we're screwed, the people trying to kill us are in the
pentagon, they never stop, they never cease, they never desist." This was
Jubjub.
"Shut up, Jubjub. Everything is under control, alright? We're
better off now that we know what we're up against. It's just that we're
going to need an army. Keith and Guy aren't quite enough to take on THE
MAN." This, of course, is Nybar.
"An army? You crazy motherfucker, what do you want us to do? Storm
the Pentagon?"
"EXACTLY!--" this was the point where Nybar drove his knife into the
table "--oh, not to hold it or anything. That would be crazy! Just until
we have enough information about who is competing with us for the scepter.
Oh, and it might also be a good idea to kill whomever that may be."
"Uh, naturally. So, to re-iterate, you plan to hire an army--" a
pause. Nybar nodded. Jubjub continued "storm the pentagon--" pause, nod,
continue: "--and in this way, get information about our competitor and
possibly kill him, or her... or it, or them. Right?" Nybar nodded again,
and took a bite of his orange.
"That's ridiculous. Why not simply beat them at their own game, and
obtain the scepter before they do?" Jubjub finished his stream of questions
with this pontification. Nybar silently pondered something for a bit, while
chewing on his orange. The silence became uncomfortable, and finally
unbearable. Finally, Nybar spoke up.
"Sometimes, Jubjub, you're useless. You're usually a superb
calculator, but too much risk and too many calculations shut your brain off.
Then you go into hibernation. It is while people like you are in waiting
mode that the true brilliancies occur; these come from the people willing to
be a little insane if it brings them to their goals. Both the unmarked,
peasant's graves and the tombs of the high and mighty are filled with the
bodies of these people. How are we going to beat the United States at a
game like the one we're playing, the name of which is RESCOURCES? We need
to take action, our STRATEGY much be superior. So you stay here, baby-sit
Keith and Guy, talk to the waitress, reflect on my words. I'm going to The
Amazon Basin to find out about hiring an ARMY. You can reach me on the new
cell-phone if anything comes up."
With that, Nybar abruptly stormed out, absent-mindedly tossing the
rest of his orange into a trash can on the way out. Jubjub would later
learn that he had ordered tickets to the Amazon basin about the same time as
Mogel first expressed interest in the project. But at the moment he was
speechless, though he was constantly expecting outbursts from Nybar.
"What an asshole, eh?" this is the first question Jubjub had directed
at Dawn for hours. She was looking rather haggard, but being kidnapped by
strange people for no ascertainable purpose does that to people.
"I guess--" Dawn's gag had long ago been removed, it aesthetically
offended Nybar to have people who hadn't yet disproved their intelligence
unable to speak in his home. Jubjub hadn't argued the point; he knew the
need for conversation with someone other then Nybar (who tends to be
intense) might come up, and Keith and Guy certainly didn't fit the bill. In
a world where the only person to talk to is the girl you kidnapped...
"--uh, you seem pretty nice. Would you mind telling me ... just why
you kidnapped me?" Her tone of voice matched up nicely with how haggard she
looked, and what she'd been through.
"Because Nybar is egotistical. When he has a goal, all other humans,
even me, are just pawns." Jubjub replied, and let her marinate. She took
longer then necessary, because there were still kidnapper - kidnapee
boundaries to be discovered.
"Okay, but is there a more specific reason?"
"Well... I suppose we're going to have to tell you eventually anyway,
so I might as well tell you the whole story. This is going to sound pretty
damn weird, so I'll just spit it out:--" after a barely perceptible glance
to make sure Keith and Guy were still in the soundproofed monitoring room,
he continued "okay, one more clarification. This isn't going to sound
weird. It's going to sound REALLY weird. Here goes:"
What is the REAL nature of the mess Nybar and Jubjub have gotten
themselves into? Read the Next Chapter, COMING SOON!
[--------------------------------------------------------------------------]
[ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #776 - WRITTEN BY: NYBAR - 8/2/99 ]
