The Hogs of Entropy 0748

Published in

· 5 years ago

  

 
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   ooooo   ooooo  .oooooo.  oooooooooooo       HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #748 
   `888'   `888' d8P'  `Y8b `888'     `8 
    888     888 888      888 888             "Foreign Animals Talk Funny" 
    888ooooo888 888      888 888oooo8 
    888     888 888      888 888    "                  by Six 
    888     888 `88b    d88' 888       o              7/22/99 
   o888o   o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8 
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        Yeah..  In my Spanish book in 7th grade when we got to the animal 
 chapter they also included the animal sounds.  Now I did really bad in 
 Spanish so I know almost none of the Spanish in this is correct but bear 
 with me here.  The cat said 'Maur'.  The dog said 'Raur'.  The chicken said 
 'Qua'.. Qua?  I have never ever heard a chicken say Qua what the hell is 
 that.  Apparently Spanish animals over use their U's.  This is a serious 
 problem and I think it is caused by the lack of animal education in 
 Spanish-speaking countries.  If the people of the Spanish-speaking nations 
 would just get off their lazy asses and say listen there dog, its Arf, or 
 Grrrrowl, not Raur!  What are you some kind of pansy girlie dog?  If a 
 Rotweiler walked up to you and said Raur, would you run?  No!  You would 
 giggle insanely and say 'Ha! Ha! that dog said Raur!  What a wussie little 
 dog!' 

        I also recall that the animals in my sister's French book said funny 
 things too.  However, I cannot recall any of them and various French people 
 have assured me that their pets do not talk funny. 

        Apparently the over-use of the letter U among Spanish animals has 
 gotten way out of control.  That's why I am asking everyone to donate to 
 'The Foundation for the Elimination of the Letter U from the Vocabulary of 
 Spanish-Speaking Animals' FELUVSSA, for short.  Along with a donation of 
 20 dollars or more to FELUVSSA you will receive a T-shirt that reads 'Thanks 
 to me one dog in a Spanish-Speaking nation barks like an American dog' with 
 a picture of the Taco Bell Chihuahua on the front.  Due to lack of funds we 
 were forced to steal ad's from Taco Bell instead of getting our own.  You 
 will also get a certificate of authenticity for your T-shirt. 

        What the hell is that ringing sound? 

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 [ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS!       HOE #748 - WRITTEN BY: SIX - 7/22/99 ]