The Hogs of Entropy 0766

Published in

· 5 years ago

  

 
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   ooooo   ooooo  .oooooo.  oooooooooooo       HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #766 
   `888'   `888' d8P'  `Y8b `888'     `8 
    888     888 888      888 888           "I'm Amazingly Horny Right Now" 
    888ooooo888 888      888 888oooo8 
    888     888 888      888 888    "          by Oscar Meyer Wilde III 
    888     888 `88b    d88' 888       o               7/28/99 
   o888o   o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8 
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        OH MY GOD, I'm so fucking horny. 

        I just want you to know, I'm stroking my cock.  I type relatively 
 well with one hand.  Hopefully I can show somebody this impressive skill 
 one day. 

        Does that make you feel uncomfortable? 

        I can't help it, really.  I'm all lubed up right now, and completely 
 ready to shoot my load.  I have my designated masturbation sock in position 
 and everything (I put a little red tomato sauce stain on it so I can 
 identify it).  Sometimes girls ask me if it's blood.  They're so silly, 
 isn't it? 

        It took me a long time to get into the mood today, though.  I'm so 
 disgusted by these tame fucking internet perverts.  Sometimes I just want 
 to see a small child ramming his erect shaft into the end of an 
 unsuspecting farm animal.  I know it sounds like I'm being gratuitous, but 
 I'm really not.  It's just curiosity, you know.  I like to know what 
 stuff like that looks like.  Is that really all that weird? 

        Sometimes I look at my penis, with its huge bulging veins and the 
 slightly-too-purple head, and I start to wonder what it's like to have a 
 much larger penis.  Like one of those super penises, that extend into the 
 air like a flagpole.  Wouldn't it be great to walk into a room with one of 
 those?  Wouldn't all the girls love me then?  Still, my penis is okay. 
 Really.  It's not too bad.  It gets the job done.  That's all you really 
 need, right? 

        YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW ABSOLUTELY HORNY I AM. 

        Maybe I should pull out some internet pornography and temporarily 
 sate this raging beast (that's my penis), because I am not sure I can 
 properly function until I do.  Do you think I'm being too personal here? 

        Like Woody Allen, I can't stop thinking about sex.  Everything 
 reminds me of it.  When I go to the Opera and think about what the opera 
 singers moans would be like if I fucked them.  When I see gymnastics I 
 wonder what kind of crazy sexual positions those women could go into. 
 When I eat kelp I... uh.... 

        Celebrity porn is for pussies. 
  
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 [ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS!    HOE #766 - WRITTEN BY: OCMIII - 7/28/99 ]