The Hogs of Entropy 0653

Published in

· 5 years ago

  

 
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   ooooo   ooooo  .oooooo.  oooooooooooo       HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #653 
   `888'   `888' d8P'  `Y8b `888'     `8 
    888     888 888      888 888                 "The Sea Witch, aka 
    888ooooo888 888      888 888oooo8      The Seventh Son of a Seventh Son" 
    888     888 888      888 888    "              by Ashtray Heart 
    888     888 `88b    d88' 888       o               5/22/99 
   o888o   o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8 
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        Let me tell you about a customer at my brother's place of 
 employment.  The reason Paul knows his name is because he has a nice little 
 name tag, which proudly proclaims him "Sea Witch, Seventh Son of a Seventh 
 Son".  Apparently he's unrelated to the Sea Hag of Popeye cartoons. 

        The Sea Witch's uncle owned the car the little girl landed on in 
 "The Omen".  Also, you know how all the double agents are being killed in 
 Russia?  That's him doing it.  You see, as the Sea Witch, the Seventh Son 
 of a Seventh Son, he can be in seven different dimensions at one time. 
 And in fact, a UFO landed in his front yard just last week.  So he took 
 himself and President Clinton and President Reagan and put them in a 
 dimension with the guy with slicked-back hair and the green turned-up 
 collar.  You know the guy with the slicked-back hair and the green 
 turned-up collar, don't you?  Of course you do.  And actually, he won the 
 election for the Clintons last time, because Bill and Hilary flew in on a 
 helicopter and asked for help.  So what he did is he took a bunch of young 
 girls and he took 'em out to Ballard High School and he fed 'em to snakes. 
 He didn't like doing it, but you know, that's what you gotta do to win an 
 election.  Also, you know the character "Bane" from "Batman and Robin", 
 played by Jeep Swenson?  Well, he was in the book of Revelations, and he 
 came to destroy the world. 

        The Sea Witch only rents war movies, and he has this strange way of 
 talking.  Like the neighbor on Beavis and Butthead.  Tom, or something.  He 
 didn't like the Walking Dead, because it was all about black soldiers.  The 
 Seventh Son of a Seventh Son is a white guy.  An old white guy.  He looks 
 kind of like your grandfather, if your grandfather is skinny and not dead 
 yet. 

        That's all we know so far about the Sea Witch, the Seventh Son of a 
 Seventh Son.  More updates as we get 'em. 

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 [ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #653-WRITTEN BY: ASHTRAY HEART-5/22/99 ]