Copy Link
Add to Bookmark
Report
The Hogs of Entropy 0655
[--------------------------------------------------------------------------]
ooooo ooooo .oooooo. oooooooooooo HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #655
`888' `888' d8P' `Y8b `888' `8
888 888 888 888 888 "Ask Clyde"
888ooooo888 888 888 888oooo8
888 888 888 888 888 " by Clyde
888 888 `88b d88' 888 o 5/22/99
o888o o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8
[--------------------------------------------------------------------------]
ask clyde - free advice! write to askclyde@usa.net!
welcome to ask clyde! ask clyde is an anonymous free advice service!
do you need free advice! i will answer your questions! i also give advice
on how to fight crime! remember -- crime does not pay! don't you agree!
ask clyde is on the world wide web! dial us up at
http://skaro.nightcrawler.com/~bneely/askclyde/ !
in this issue, jonas is spreading the disease, ross has a goiter
problem, anna hates the world, paul turns 15 years old, and elliott explores
the psychedelic landscape!
we have a nice batch of questions, so let's jump right in!
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
> Dear Clyde,
> i have a very nasty rash in an embarrasing region. i have not been
> able to get rid of it with creams, pills, herbs, or sandpaper. what
> should i do?
>
> Jonas
sir!
you have a communicable disease! don't you understand! spread this
to your enemies! sleep with them if you have to!
passing up this opportunity would be a crime!
clyde
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
> DEAR CLYDE,
> I HAVE A PROBLEM WITH MY GOITER. COULD YOU RECOMMEND A GOOD
> TREATMENT?!?!?!?!
>
> ROSS
golly sir! i think you have me stumped! what's the answer!
clyde
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
> Dear Clyde,
> I have a very serious problem here. I want to destroy the world
> and I don't know how to go about this. I've considered changing the
> world into a nuclear wasteland, but that won't suffice. It won't last
> long enough for me to savour my handiwork, but it does get the job done.
>
> There simply is no role model for me to follow in their footsteps
> simply because no one has done it before. So I guess I'll have to be a
> pioneer, exploring unknown territory... except I have no idea what
> direction I should take.
>
> So tell me clyde, how what would you do if you wanted to destroy the
> world?
>
> Anna
dear anna!
what did your boyfriend do to you this time!
clyde
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
> Dear Clyde,
> I was just wondering if you could help me.
>
> How am I, as a man, supposed to understand what women are trying to say?
> They say one thing and then they think that we understand them, even
> though we have no clue at all.
>
> Please, help me Clyde - and you will be my savior, my hero.
>
> Paul
paul!
i know exactly what you mean! and i am not a woman, so i mean what i
say! i mean it! so here are some things you could do!
1. blow away the ears of the female in question! sign language
never lies!
2. blow away your own eyes! braille doesn't lie either! they will
have to tell you what they mean!
3. turn gay!
i hope that one of these solutions will work for you! remember, the
disclaimer on my web page says that i am not responsible for your actions as
a result of this email!
clyde
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
> Clyde,
> Ooooiioooo.. oo-o-o-o-o-o...
> OOiiiioooo aahhhh oiiiieeoo!
> Come on, little funny man, come on! Come on, come on!
> Come on, little funny man, come on!
> Come on, little funny man, come on!
> Come on, little funny moooon!
> Oiiiioooo-o-o-o-oo! Oiiiiiooo! Ooooiiiiiooo
> Come on, little funny man!
> Come on, little funny!
> Come on, you little funny man!
> Come on youyou little funny man come on!
> Come on you little funny man, come on! Come on!
> Come on you little funny man!
> Oooiiieeeoo, OOOeeeoo!
> Oiiiioooo! Oiiiiiooo! Ooooiiiiiooo
> Come on you little funny man, come on you little funny man,
> come on you little funny man, come on you little funny man,
> come on you little funny man, come on you little funny maaaaan,
> Nmmeennegh! C'mon!!!
> Nyuurgh! Unnhn! Uhhnnh!! Uhnn! Uhn!
> Come on, come on, come on, come on!
> Come on you funny man!
> Come on you funny man!
> Come on, you funny man, come on, come on, come ooooooooonn!
> Come ooooooooohn!
> ooOOooooo. oooEeoooeo.
> Come on, come on you funny man, come on, come on
> Come on you funny maaaaaaaan, come on, come on
> Come on you little ehfhyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyi
> Oooooiiiiieeeooo!! OOOeEEAAOUUAA!
>
> Elliott
thank you!
clyde
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
wasn't that an exciting romp through the digital mailbag! be sure to
watch for future columns! do you need free advice! write to me! the
address is askclyde@usa.net ! do not hesitate! don't be shy!
have a great day!
[--------------------------------------------------------------------------]
[ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #655 - WRITTEN BY: CLYDE - 5/22/99 ]
