Copy Link
Add to Bookmark
Report
The Hogs of Entropy 0616
[--------------------------------------------------------------------------]
ooooo ooooo .oooooo. oooooooooooo HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #616
`888' `888' d8P' `Y8b `888' `8
888 888 888 888 888 "The Picnic Channel"
888ooooo888 888 888 888oooo8
888 888 888 888 888 " by Oregano
888 888 `88b d88' 888 o 5/9/99
o888o o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8
[--------------------------------------------------------------------------]
Late at night, when light from the sun is blocked by the giant known
as Earth, there blows the solar wind. The atmosphere becomes ionized and
the satellites circling the dark side of the world become erratic. At such
times strange channels flicker in and out of the normal cable choices.
Up at 4 a.m. to take anti-biotics, fighting off strep, I sit in
front of the TV to make myself drowsy enough to fall back asleep. As my
eyelids flutter open, flutter closed, the Picnic Channel appears before me.
Here is what I see.
Children's Picnic.
A morning show with furry muppet-like characters on a perpetual
picnic who get into all sorts of adventures. One show they might climb a
tree, another find a cave. They sing a lot of songs and play games and
learn to play fair. Learning the alphabet and counting are important to
the morning picnicers
Sunrise Picnic.
A show which encourages picnics in the early morning, especially
those early enough to watch the sun glide above the horizon. Watching the
sun rise gets the day off right, you see the day born, the way God meant it
to be; you'd not sleep through the first 3 years of your child's life, so
why would you sleep through the first 3 hours of the newborn day?
The Fancy Pattern
A show about picnic blankets and other important picnic cloths.
Morning Picnic
This is like a Regis and Kathy Lee show but set out in a lovely,
green picnic land. Each morning celebrity guests join Mike and Johana at
the picnic, (though admittedly rather minor celebrities). Plus lots of
chefs and outdoor specialists and craft experts. Time management gurus
show ways to add picnicing hours to even the busiest life.
Every Friday the Gadget Guy shows up with new tools and gadgets to
make your picnicing simpler and more enjoyable.
Relax! Life's a picnic!
Basket of Bounty.
A cooking show tailored to the needs of the picnicer. How to keep
food fresh, plus new food ideas, and other exciting looks at picnic fare.
Season of Love.
A show somewhat remniscent of the Love Boat. A crew of professional
picnicers welcome each week a new love stuck couple and through the magic
of picnics bring the two hearts together.
This week's show:
They were a couple in college who separated after graduation and
made divergent lives for themselves. He is a rising young exec in a
securities firm who has never taken more than 20 minutes for lunch on his
long climb up the corporate world. She is a dog trainer who is in complete
touch with herself.
One magic day they run into each other by accident when he is
assigned to take to the shelter a stray dog that got loose in his corporate
headquarters and she is in the same shelter to pick up a dog of hers that
ran away. There is a magic between them after all the time elapsed and they
agree to get together for lunch. She says that it is important that they
have a special picnic lunch with so many years to catch up on. He balks,
but a few days later after thinking it over he agrees to the picnic.
Our regular cast comes to the picture and sets up a picnic so
romantic and zany that it can never be forgotten.
The picnic changes the man's life and he quits his job the next day
and opens up his own bait shop. The couple lives happily ever after.
Movie of the Week.
"The Perfect Picnic"
A mother and daughter plan on having the perfect picnic but the
mother dies of horrible cancer before they can make their plans come alive.
The daughter weeps for a half hour of TV time and finally decides that she
has to go on the picnic by herself to honor her mother and complete her
grief.
The perfect picnic involves a trip to Yellowston National Park in
the heart of spring and a picnic in the famous daffodil fields. This movie
features some of the most stunning aerial picnic sweeps yet captured for a
TV audience.
PicnicCenter
An end of the day look at picnic news which wraps up any picnic
stories that viewers have followed all day.
The ions lose their energy and the erratic satellites come under the
full glare of a new day's sun and resume their transmissions of the Golf
Channel and Emeril Live. I wake up to light slicing through my venetian
blinds. I get up and go to my dark bedroom to finish a last few hours of
sleep before the alarm blares.
[--------------------------------------------------------------------------]
[ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #616 - WRITTEN BY: OREGANO - 5/9/99 ]
