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The Hogs of Entropy 0585
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ooooo ooooo .oooooo. oooooooooooo HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #585
`888' `888' d8P' `Y8b `888' `8
888 888 888 888 888 "Satire On The Truth About Men"
888ooooo888 888 888 888oooo8
888 888 888 888 888 " by Effy
888 888 `88b d88' 888 o 4/21/99
o888o o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8
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What is it about men that makes them constantly have to put on a
macho facade? Granted, this is not true for all of their kind, but sadly
enough, there seems to be an epidemic among men that makes them think in
order to function in society, they have to be "all that and then some."
The typical male in this day and age has several values: their muscles
("how much can you bench?"), their beer ("how much can you drink; can you
hold your liquor?"), and their sports ("you wanna bet on that?").
Unfortunately, it may not be exaggeration to resolve to the conclusion
that all the kind, sensitive, caring men that women spend their whole
lives looking for are looking for boyfriends, not girlfriends.
What ever happened to the dashing knights on horseback in shining
armor that came to rescue their ladies out of dire love and respect for
their goddess-like feminity, shouting proudly, "Don't worry m'lady, I'll
rescue you!" in a debonair, dashing accent? The 90's version of this
could be summarized by characterizing this hero in a low rider with a
stereo system worth more than the vehicle itself. The hero drives up to
the women of his attention and pulls to the side of the road as she's
walking by, but this time smoke is rolling out of the windows as he
belches loudly and pats the passenger seat, saying while winking
suggestively, "Hey baby, want a lift?"
Of course, many feminist types wouldn't want men thinking they
could "rescue" them anyone. Female nature is changing also, and becoming
increasingly independent. Women no longer swoon at the sight of blood or
cling to their heroes as tragedy strikes. Now women are neural surgeons
slapping and cursing their husbands in the delivery room as they give
birth to children, screaming "Look what you did to me, you fucking
asshole!" to their heroes...needless to say, women do appreciate the
protective, masculine role that men play so well, but in general, why do
men feel the need to overdo it? Does it only make women want to become
more independent? Why can't men settle for a happy medium? Why must they
assume that, because they think they're put on this earth to rule over
women, they're right and they know everything?
Why is it that men can't be loyal either? It seems they can go
through women as if they were trying on new pairs of pants. All women
want is to be loved and not tossed aside like dirty laundry when a new
"chick" comes along. We need an antidote for this problem, this disease,
this epidemic...we need a cure before the entire 49% of the world
population start stretching the stereotypes to the maximum! If a woman
were told to say the first things that came to mind at the mention of the
word men, it wouldn't be unlikely for her to list such attributes as
"simple" and "one-track-minded" and "cheating" and "lying" and
"chauvenistic"; as well as mentioning a love of fast cars, beer, stereo
equipment, and sports (especially football). And on the other side of the
spectrum, wouldn't men most likely describe their ideal woman as "hot,"
"sexy," "helpless," "overly emotional," and "complicated"? Men are stuck
back in the ice ages when it comes to this. It's about time women started
dragging MEN back to the cave by their hair. Maybe it would teach them a
valuable lesson.
Wow, how can men and women be so different?
The world may never know.
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[ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #585 - WRITTEN BY: EFFY - 4/21/99 ]
