The Hogs of Entropy 0583

eZine lover (@eZine)

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The Hogs of Entropy

 · 5 years ago

  

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   ooooo   ooooo  .oooooo.  oooooooooooo       HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #583 
   `888'   `888' d8P'  `Y8b `888'     `8 
    888     888 888      888 888                 "IRC is Better Than 
    888ooooo888 888      888 888oooo8            Stand Up Comedians" 
    888     888 888      888 888    " 
    888     888 `88b    d88' 888       o         by Granny [4/21/99] 
   o888o   o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8 
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        EFnet IRC is the best place to hear the stupidest and/or funniest 
 things.  I heartily recommend the warez and mp3 channels for massive 
 amounts of comedy through stupidity.  The technical channels also have 
 fairly large amounts of stupidity and comedy.  Here are some examples, with 
 commentary and/or translation: 

        EXAMPLE: BATHROOM HUMOR 

 <^CoSMiC^> my dog farts 
 <fireBANE> i kicked his ass 
 <fireBANE> ^cosmic^: so does mine 
 <fireBANE> [n]as: our dog just scratches his ass on the carpet 
 <^CoSMiC^> but my dogs farts smells 
 <fireBANE> i know this dog that when he farts.. he clears a whole house 
 <[n]as> hehe just blame it on the dog 
 <fireBANE> its the red meat they feed him 
 <fireBANE> they feed him lots of moose bear and deer 
 <[n]as> oh yeah my dog just scratchs his ass not wipes it 

        (COMMENTARY:  Here is a classic but very original case of bathroom 
 humor.  What makes it so unique is that the dog is fed moose, bear, and 
 deer. If a human ate a lot of moose, bear, and deer would they fart too?) 

        EXAMPLE: INTERNETWORKING 

 <Xcheet0s> why does ATM taunt me so 
 <Xcheet0s> GO AWAY 
 <kaleido> atm is of the devil 
 <kaleido> thats why 
 <kaleido> he's tempting you 
 <kaleido> taunting you 
 <kaleido> you must believe in the lord and his name is SONET 

        (TRANSLATION: ATM stinks, use SONET.  COMMENTARY: Where else other 
 than the IRC can you find internetworking tidbits/heuristics in poetic 
 form?) 

        EXAMPLE: GEEK COMPUTING 

 <ET_Turbo> pimp they dont make ide? come on f00 
 <PIMPdatHO> they dont buttnutt, they r total scsi 
 <ET_Turbo> ill wager my left asscheek 
 <PIMPdatHO> I'll wager both my nutz 
 <PIMPdatHO> if u got an ide product by plextor, someone really put the 
 cheese move on ya 

        (TRANSLATION:  Plextor does not make IDE hard drives, only SCSI 
 drives.  I will wager my family jewels on it.) 

        EXAMPLE: LAMERS 

 1 VillMan is back. for more...lag...lameness...and net*cough*sex 

         (TRANSLATION:  My internet connection is slow, which makes my 
 left hand and I very lame.) 

 2. <LoCoNeT> ok....To the First one Who Gives me The 128Kbs Version of 
              Ricky MArtin -- Livin La Vida Loca ...i will give him/her ... 
              a *kiss* ;0 

        (TRANSLATION:  I am a lamer who leeches and I have nothing to trade 
 for the Ricky Martin mp3.) 

 3. <sou1jah> frickin.. i wish i didn't have to goto the bar to get ass.. 
    <sou1jah> <--- is the Godfather of Irc 
    <sou1jah> <--- Was the Godfather of Rap mp3s.. 

        (TRANSLATION:  I am another lamer who stays on the IRC for long 
 periods of time with my left hand.) 

        EXAMPLE:  MISCALENOUS 

1. <fireBANE> man this song has some bass to it.. wow 
   <fireBANE> these little pecker speakers are bottoming out 

        (TRANSLATION: My speakers can't handle the bass of this mp3.) 

 2. * djmousie opens a can of cream corn and smears it all over his nutz and 
      then sets it on fire... 
    <djmousie> yah!! 
    <ET_Turbo> is that shit flammable ehehheh 
    <djmousie> yes very 
    <ET_Turbo> cream corn? 
    <MET_Turbo> is that a cooking aid? 
    <]{oruPt> don't you eat that 
    <]{oruPt> fuck i'm not eating that again 

        (TRANSLATION:  Cream corn is flammable, use with caution.) 

 3. <sarai6568> Pamela Anderson squirms like CRAZY when Tommy Lee licks 
                between her legs with his large TONGUE. Also watch her get 
                jammed from his LONG HARD ROD, see her down all of his 
                juice while sucking him off, see Pam play with Herself. 
                It's soo close you can see right up inside of her! These 
                are MOVIES, as if you were in the same room with them! Yep, 
                if you are an Adult, you can get them FREE at 
                http://www.xxxxxxxxxxxx.com 

        (TRANSLATION:  We are a lame pr0n site and the best we can do is try 
 to sell the Pamela and Tommy Lee stolen tapes, which everyone has seen 
 already anyway.) 

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 [ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS!    HOE #583 - WRITTEN BY: GRANNY - 4/21/99 ]