The Hogs of Entropy 0532

Published in

· 26 Apr 2019

  

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   ooooo   ooooo  .oooooo.  oooooooooooo       HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #532 
   `888'   `888' d8P'  `Y8b `888'     `8 
    888     888 888      888 888                  "SVP Aidez Nous!" 
    888ooooo888 888      888 888oooo8 
    888     888 888      888 888    "                by AnonGirl 
    888     888 `88b    d88' 888       o               3/27/99 
   o888o   o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8 
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        "Allo.  My name is Sylvie Bilodeau.  I'm standing on the corner of 
 what used to be Saint Lawrence and Saint Catherine boulevards.  I'm here  
 today to inform you that a terrible tragedy has been going on, and how you 
 can help.  Men, women and children are starving, in a land that was once of 
 great prosperity.  The thirty-story buildings you see to the right of me 
 have long since been abandoned, and are being run by terrorists.  Children 
 have died in these buildings.  Women have been raped in these buildings, as 
 well as their bastard children.  The water has become tainted, causing 
 innocent Anglophones to involuntarily speak and think in French. 
 Francophone newborns have been poisoned, their mothers and fathers beaten 
 and left for dead.  Throughout the streets, on large speakers atop 
 streetlights, are endless Celine Dion tracks being played.  Gangs have 
 taken over homes.  The idea of school is a long forgotten hope for the 
 youth.  Hospitals are a thing of the past.  So I'm standing here today to 
 ask for the help of you, the public.  For just $1.01 per day, you can 
 provide a nutritious meal, education, and a Celine Dion tape to one of 
 these poor, hungry children.  Just think, one of these innocent children 
 would be given a hot, steaming bowl of poutine, provided by you and the 
 generous folks at La Belle Province, as well as a can of Pepsi and a Mae 
 West cake for dessert.  You will also be contributing towards the 
 education needed for these young children. They would be taught the basic 
 essentials of math, French grammar, and slang French, by the great Dr. Paul 
 Rose.  And of course, the Celine Dion tape, a compilation titled 'Aimez Moi 
 ou Mourrir', will be given to each child that receives a sponsor like you. 
 We are begging you, here at L'Association des enfants de la république du 
 Kébék, to give generously, and help yet another child grow up and live an 
 adequate childhood.  Please, help us rebuild the country that was once 
 Quebec, because one more lost child is one too many.  Merci." 

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 [ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS!  HOE #532 - WRITTEN BY: ANONGIRL - 3/27/99 ]