The Hogs of Entropy 0506

Published in

· 5 years ago

  

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   ooooo   ooooo  .oooooo.  oooooooooooo       HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #506 
   `888'   `888' d8P'  `Y8b `888'     `8  
    888     888 888      888 888               "Hypothetical Question" 
    888ooooo888 888      888 888oooo8  
    888     888 888      888 888    "                   by Z 
    888     888 `88b    d88' 888       o               3/8/99 
   o888o   o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8 
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        As I sit in the Service Center of a non-distinguished Gateway 
 Country Store, I watch my managers run around directing people to tuck 
 their evil uniform shirts in and to smile when a customer enters the 
 store. 

        I have come close to falling asleep at my post a plethora of times, 
 only to be waken by the occasional musical stylings of Barbara Streisand 
 blasting from the stereo speakers of an entirely too powerful machine as  
 an entirely too commission based salesperson attempts to make the machine 
 seem user-friendly to an entirely too ignorant elderly man. 

        I stare out the window, watching the potential customers come and 
 go when the phone rings. 

        "Thank you for calling Gateway Country, how may i help you?" I 
 mumble into the receiver. 

        "HI!  I have a hypothetical question for you", says the man on the 
 other end, excitedly. 

        "Oh?  How hypothetical is hypothetical?" I ask. 

        Ignoring my comment, the man proceeds to ask me a myriad of 
 questions regarding the installation of a chip he has HEARD about which, 
 when sodered onto the board of a Recordable CD_rom allows the copying of 
 Sony Playstation Games.  It seems a FRIEND of his has attempted to 
 "upgrade" her CD-R in this fashion, but was unfamiliar with the fine art 
 of sodering, and managed to make the CDR inoperable (as in the damn thing 
 won't even open anymore cos of the lump of metal lodged in the tray). 

        "Now", he continues, "If my my friend were to say, own a Gateway, 
 and it was the CDR on the Gateway that is no longer functioning, would you 
 all replace the CDR for her?" 

        Then he rambles in coherently, "Cos I really think that you should 
 replace the CDR, cos you have a warranty and are always saying you replace 
 things.  I am entitled to a replacement CDR." 

        THE END. 

        DO NOT EVER WORK IN A CUSTOMER SERVICE BASED FIELD BECAUSE YOU 
 ALWAYS END UP HATING MANKIND. 

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 [ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS!          HOE #506 - WRITTEN BY: Z - 3/8/99 ]