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The Hogs of Entropy 0476
'##::::'##:::'#####:::'########: VIVA LA REVOLUCION! CERDO DEL CAPITALISTA!!
##:::: ##::'##.. ##:: ##.....:: ===========================================
##:::: ##:'##:::: ##: ##::::::: THE HELOTS OF ECSTASY PRESS RELEASE #476 !!
#########: ##:::: ##: ######::: ZIEGO VUANTAR SHALL BE MUCH VICTORIOUS! !!
##.... ##: ##:::: ##: ##...:::: ===========================================
##:::: ##:. ##:: ##:: ##::::::: "Dubuque Hoes" !!
##:::: ##::. #####::: ########: by -> Phairgirl !!
..:::::..::::.....::::........:: 2/3/99 !!
!!========================================================================!!
Another thrilling night out at Perkins with the Dubuque, Iowa
elite crew. We were putting 319 on the map, baby. Josh, Steve (M4D 3LF),
and I dumped the Pokemon out onto the table and began hitting them
maniacally with Pokeballs. The fat Pikachu wouldn't fall over!!!!
ARRRGH!!! Josh randomly spit his coffee all over the table and managed
to throw Poliwhirl into my cup of coffee. Little children flocked to our
table to watch us play. Alas, our time had to end; there were greater
adventures awaiting us, on the other side of the rainbow.
We sit around Steve's empty basement, staring at the Apple color
monitor corded up to the VCR crackheadedly watching Pokemon reruns. Ash
and Pikachu are searching for firewood in the forest, and Ash calls out,
"Here, firewood firewood firewood." Oh man. That was a kneeslapper,
baby. I LOVE THAT SHIT, BABY!!!
Josh wondered the night before if he could join h0e. I told him
he had to WRITE THINGS. Of course, that would be easier if he had a
computer, or even regular access to one. He pulled out a psychotically
deluded poem a la Shel Silverstien, and I applauded his efforts. I gave
him Ziego's address, which, naturally, I carry with me in my pocket,
right next to my Pikachu. I told him I could hook him up. Then he asked
me if I could lend him $150 so he wouldn't be homeless.
Josh checked out Meenk's profile on Steve's laptop. He thought
she was pretty hot. I told him to beware, she was one of those goth
chicks. He smiled, that goofy smile he has. Smiling always looks silly
on a face with no eyebrows. Hell, he hadn't even bothered to draw in any
tonight.
Steve was happy, he finally got himself h00k3d uP with a h0e
profile. And, look, he had a file released. And so did I.
WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
I was all bitchy. Come to find out today, it was just PMS. Man,
PMS sucks. I mean, REAL PMS, not that pretend fake PMS that comes in a
yellow box with black letters that women with mental problems pretend to
have for 3 weeks a month. Still, even in my momentary insanity, I stayed
cool. I was CHILLIN.
I went to work on one hour of sleep. Josh starts working with me
on Saturday. Mike, at work, was asking me if he should write for h0e. I
told him I didn't care, just as long as if he sucked, he didn't associate
me with his stupid ass. He was smiling as I once again reached past my
Pikachu for Ziego's address. I suddenly envisioned myself in a purple
zoot suit. Or if nothing else, my *purple nigger* shirt. Oh man.
Nothing names a shirt better than watching PBS specials about people with
tourette's syndrome who start chanting that familiar phrase when a
gigantically enormous black guy in a purple sweater enters that branch of
her local bank.
*INSERT LUST-RIDDEN SIGH*
We had four people in the drive-thru ask for Whoppers today. This
is usually a bi-monthly occurrence or so; I concluded some evil forces of
stupidity were randomly smacking our menu boards as to cause extreme
havoc on the other side of the headsets. Nobody yelled at me today. My
co-workers and I all agreed that second-hand sex toys were to be avoided.
Once home, I was going to sleep, but the fun never ends in Dubuque.
Steve assumed I really was going to try and catch up on some sleep. Silly
mortal. Josh called me to come over and make a Vampire character for
Saturday's game. I was sleepy. I decided to sleep after all.
IT RAINED A LOT AND IT WAS WET EVERYWHERE AND IT WAS SCARY WHEN I
SLID DOWN THE HILLLLLLLLLL
Josh was really fucking sick. We sat around bullshitting for a
bunch of hours. He looked like he was recovering from two black eyes. I
didn't make that character because my brain wasn't working right from
lack of sleep and his ancient stack of MAD magazines were utterly
fascinating me. I commented to Josh that I was glad he had a girlfriend,
because then I felt much more comfortable knowing we had a non-sexual
relationship. It was beautiful; tears rushed to my eyes and flooded the
room. Or maybe they didn't. I don't remember all too well anymore. It
might have just been a cat rushing to my eyes. There are three of them,
you know.
I'm really tired. I smile, all docile and somewhat stupidly, and
wonder if my brother would mind if I submitted his journal entries as a
super de dooper killer t-file. I like the part when he says that he can
talk to me about his problems because he has no fear of me telling other
people, because I am a loser and I have no friends. Well, you know what
I have to say about THAT.
Pi..... Ka....... CHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
!!========================================================================!!
!! (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #476, WRITTEN BY: PHAIRGIRL - 2/3/99 !!
