The Hogs of Entropy 0467

eZine lover (@eZine)

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The Hogs of Entropy

 · 5 years ago

  

 
 '##::::'##:::'#####:::'########: VIVA LA REVOLUCION! CERDO DEL CAPITALISTA!! 
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  ##:::: ##:'##:::: ##: ##::::::: THE HELOTS OF ECSTASY PRESS RELEASE #467 !! 
  #########: ##:::: ##: ######::: ZIEGO VUANTAR SHALL BE MUCH VICTORIOUS!  !! 
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  ##:::: ##:. ##:: ##:: ##::::::: "Misery Takes a Victim"                  !! 
  ##:::: ##::. #####::: ########: by -> Postal                             !! 
 ..:::::..::::.....::::........:: 1/27/99                                  !! 
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        There are things that confuse us all.  There are things that boggle 
 the mind.  There are things that leave us feeling down and empty.  Well, 
 I'm going to address a common thought that enters our heads at one time. 
 Self-worth.  Now, I know that we all think of ourselves as either 
 terrific people or ass heads (like the ones that appear on Jerry Springer. 
 Boy, do I hate that show, but that is another story).  This particular 
 exercise, will deal with my twisted thought patterns. 

        So, last night, I was in the big thriving Metropolis that is 
 closest to me (consisting of 10,000 people roughly.  Thriving, huh!?!). 
 I decided I'd try a cheap alternative to supper and eat at the local Taco 
 Bell.  Sure their food is made with dogs and cats and shit, but what the 
 hell, so long as I don't find a hoof or something like that in my chili 
 cheese burrito.  So anyway, I'm eating a Taco Burrito Supreme.  Now, my 
 mind tells me that the name is severely incorrect.  There is NO way that 
 it has the right to be called a taco burrito supreme.  It is a damn 
 burrito.  It's not a taco.  Personally, it's giving false hope to me and 
 a hell of a lot of other people.  "Hey!  I'm gonna get the best of both 
 worlds.  A taco AND a burrito!" But when you get it, all it is, is a damn 
 burrito.  Supreme my ass!  

        I get ready to take a bite of this fake-as-hell product, when I 
 notice something.  A little dabble of sour cream.  Now, I don't dislike 
 sour cream, I certainly don't like it, whatever.  I take my bite.  To my 
 dismay, I find a mouthful of sour cream awaited me.  Now what the hell is  
 that all about.  There is two and a half gallons of fucking sour cream on 
 my taco... or.. um.. burrito.  SPREAD THE FUCKING WEALTH.  Of course, 
 being the cynic that I am, I think of how this is typical for me.  I have 
 a big mouthful of sour cream.  Now, if there were some one next to me, 
 say, a girlfriend (dare I say the word), I could have ranted on about how 
 I didn't want a mouthful of sour cream.  But do I have anyone next to me? 
 HELL NO!!  So in the best interest of myself and, really everyone, I 
 decided to come up with a theory on what brings misery.  Here goes. 

        The main thing that I've found to bring misery and unhappiness in 
 life is... the fucking taco burrito supreme.  Yes, I blame everything on 
 that shitty burrito.  World hunger... taco burrito supreme.  Death and  
 destruction... taco burrito supreme, with extra sour cream!  Global 
 warming... that fucking taco burrito-la-cucarachita-en-me-pene-doesn't- 
 -deserve-to-be-called-a-damn-taco-supreme, 

        WITH EXTRA SOUR CREAM. 

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 !! (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS!   HOE #467, WRITTEN BY: POSTAL - 1/27/99 !!