The Hogs of Entropy 0449

eZine lover (@eZine)

Published in 

The Hogs of Entropy

 · 5 years ago

  

 
 '##::::'##:::'#####:::'########: VIVA LA REVOLUCION! CERDO DEL CAPITALISTA!! 
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  ##:::: ##:'##:::: ##: ##::::::: THE HELOTS OF ECSTASY PRESS RELEASE #449 !! 
  #########: ##:::: ##: ######::: ZIEGO VUANTAR SHALL BE MUCH VICTORIOUS!  !! 
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  ##:::: ##:. ##:: ##:: ##::::::: "My Brother's Friends"                   !! 
  ##:::: ##::. #####::: ########: by -> AnonGirl                           !! 
 ..:::::..::::.....::::........:: 1/18/99                                  !! 
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        Having a twin brother can sometimes mean sharing friends in the 
 same age group.  It's happened a lot in my case, which isn't so bad 
 because they just see me as Audrey, and not as my brother's lame 
 older/younger sister.  However, in the past two years, my brother has 
 brought home a very interesting array of people he calls his friends. 
 I felt the need to write about them, so shut up and read. 

        The names in this article have been changed to cover my ass. 

        First, there's Martin.  He started hanging around my house over 
 two years now and has basically become another member of my family 
 since he's here more than he is home.  In fact, I think he lives here. 
 He hasn't left my house in a good month or two, and was even here on 
 Christmas.  My mom and grandmother bought him gifts, and he got us some 
 gifts.  Although I don't know where he got the money considering he's 
 been here, unemployed, this whole time.  He's a pretty cool guy.  He 
 brought his computer here so now I have a kick-ass computer and a 
 decent 15" monitor instead of my piece of shit 486/33.  So he's a good 
 guy.  However, he's asked me out five times in the past two years and 
 it's getting REALLY GOD DAMN ANNOYING.  I really hope he doesn't read 
 this. 

        Then there's Shane.  Shane is a good-looking mack-daddy who also 
 started hanging with my bro two years ago.  He has a girlfriend, but that 
 doesn't stop him from messing around with other girls behind her back, 
 including his friends' sisters.  Hrm.  He's a smooth-talkin', 
 jive-walkin' mack-daddy.  He smokes me for free something, so it's cool. 

        Not that you can buy my love with drugs. 

        Booze, maybe. 

        Harry is the poor kid of the group.  My mom takes sympathy on him 
 and buys food that he likes.  I think I'd be embarassed if someone's 
 mother did that with me.  I wouldn't want to be pointed out from my 
 friends as the pity case who has a terrible life.  I dunno, that's just 
 me. 

        Paul is stranger than the others.  He's younger than everyone, 
 doesn't go to school but manages to score weed by the pound.  Whenever 
 he's here and walking by me or something where I'm in the vicinity, he 
 stares at me.  I don't know why, and he doesn't stare for long.  Little 
 meaningful glances here and there.  I don't know why he stares, maybe 
 it's because he doesn't know me as well.  Maybe he can hear me wonder 
 about how he gets $9600 for pot and isn't even in school.  He doesn't 
 work, or deal anything, I know that much.  I know it's none of my 
 business, but if someone who is more of a bum than ME scores pounds of 
 weed... I'd like to know the secret, too! 

        Sam is the destined criminal of the group.  Already being fined 
 with grand theft auto, though dismissed, his fate definetely holds some 
 jailtime for him.  Sam once tried to prove his alcoholic testosterone to 
 me by chugging a mickey of Jack Daniels, but it didn't work and he spat 
 up all over my basement instead.   

        I first met Keith in my driveway at 3am one Saturday night in 
 the summer.  I was stumbling out of a cab, drunk, and he was smoking a 
 joint with my brother.  He's got really nice hair and eyelashes (it 
 really REALLY pisses me off when a guy has nice hair and/or eyelashes. 
 Why the FUCK should they get that without styling it or V05ing it or 
 wearing mascara?!)  I've only met Keith twice, so I can't really say 
 much about how he is just yet. 

        Last but not least, there's Richard.  Richard is the freak 
 12-year-old mentality guy who gets kicks out of farting directly on 
 someone's nose and jacking off at any given moment, in public or 
 private.  Luckily I've never been around for one of his episodes, I 
 don't think I could deal with that.  Fortunately my brother and his 
 other friends think he's rather strange, so he's not around that much 
 anymore. 

        I don't know how some guys live with themselves. 

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 !! (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #449, WRITTEN BY ANONGIRL - 1/18/99 !!