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The Hogs of Entropy 0449
'##::::'##:::'#####:::'########: VIVA LA REVOLUCION! CERDO DEL CAPITALISTA!!
##:::: ##::'##.. ##:: ##.....:: ===========================================
##:::: ##:'##:::: ##: ##::::::: THE HELOTS OF ECSTASY PRESS RELEASE #449 !!
#########: ##:::: ##: ######::: ZIEGO VUANTAR SHALL BE MUCH VICTORIOUS! !!
##.... ##: ##:::: ##: ##...:::: ===========================================
##:::: ##:. ##:: ##:: ##::::::: "My Brother's Friends" !!
##:::: ##::. #####::: ########: by -> AnonGirl !!
..:::::..::::.....::::........:: 1/18/99 !!
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Having a twin brother can sometimes mean sharing friends in the
same age group. It's happened a lot in my case, which isn't so bad
because they just see me as Audrey, and not as my brother's lame
older/younger sister. However, in the past two years, my brother has
brought home a very interesting array of people he calls his friends.
I felt the need to write about them, so shut up and read.
The names in this article have been changed to cover my ass.
First, there's Martin. He started hanging around my house over
two years now and has basically become another member of my family
since he's here more than he is home. In fact, I think he lives here.
He hasn't left my house in a good month or two, and was even here on
Christmas. My mom and grandmother bought him gifts, and he got us some
gifts. Although I don't know where he got the money considering he's
been here, unemployed, this whole time. He's a pretty cool guy. He
brought his computer here so now I have a kick-ass computer and a
decent 15" monitor instead of my piece of shit 486/33. So he's a good
guy. However, he's asked me out five times in the past two years and
it's getting REALLY GOD DAMN ANNOYING. I really hope he doesn't read
this.
Then there's Shane. Shane is a good-looking mack-daddy who also
started hanging with my bro two years ago. He has a girlfriend, but that
doesn't stop him from messing around with other girls behind her back,
including his friends' sisters. Hrm. He's a smooth-talkin',
jive-walkin' mack-daddy. He smokes me for free something, so it's cool.
Not that you can buy my love with drugs.
Booze, maybe.
Harry is the poor kid of the group. My mom takes sympathy on him
and buys food that he likes. I think I'd be embarassed if someone's
mother did that with me. I wouldn't want to be pointed out from my
friends as the pity case who has a terrible life. I dunno, that's just
me.
Paul is stranger than the others. He's younger than everyone,
doesn't go to school but manages to score weed by the pound. Whenever
he's here and walking by me or something where I'm in the vicinity, he
stares at me. I don't know why, and he doesn't stare for long. Little
meaningful glances here and there. I don't know why he stares, maybe
it's because he doesn't know me as well. Maybe he can hear me wonder
about how he gets $9600 for pot and isn't even in school. He doesn't
work, or deal anything, I know that much. I know it's none of my
business, but if someone who is more of a bum than ME scores pounds of
weed... I'd like to know the secret, too!
Sam is the destined criminal of the group. Already being fined
with grand theft auto, though dismissed, his fate definetely holds some
jailtime for him. Sam once tried to prove his alcoholic testosterone to
me by chugging a mickey of Jack Daniels, but it didn't work and he spat
up all over my basement instead.
I first met Keith in my driveway at 3am one Saturday night in
the summer. I was stumbling out of a cab, drunk, and he was smoking a
joint with my brother. He's got really nice hair and eyelashes (it
really REALLY pisses me off when a guy has nice hair and/or eyelashes.
Why the FUCK should they get that without styling it or V05ing it or
wearing mascara?!) I've only met Keith twice, so I can't really say
much about how he is just yet.
Last but not least, there's Richard. Richard is the freak
12-year-old mentality guy who gets kicks out of farting directly on
someone's nose and jacking off at any given moment, in public or
private. Luckily I've never been around for one of his episodes, I
don't think I could deal with that. Fortunately my brother and his
other friends think he's rather strange, so he's not around that much
anymore.
I don't know how some guys live with themselves.
!!========================================================================!!
!! (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #449, WRITTEN BY ANONGIRL - 1/18/99 !!
