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The Hogs of Entropy 0382
'##::::'##:::'#####:::'########: VIVA LA REVOLUCION! CERDO DEL CAPITALISTA!!
##:::: ##::'##.. ##:: ##.....:: ===========================================
##:::: ##:'##:::: ##: ##::::::: THE HELOTS OF ECSTASY PRESS RELEASE #382 !!
#########: ##:::: ##: ######::: ZIEGO VUANTAR SHALL BE MUCH VICTORIOUS! !!
##.... ##: ##:::: ##: ##...:::: ===========================================
##:::: ##:. ##:: ##:: ##::::::: "I Thought Ignorance Was Supposed !!
##:::: ##::. #####::: ########: To Be Bliss" !!
..:::::..::::.....::::........:: by -> Caitlin 12/25/98 !!
!!========================================================================!!
she said "I heard what you said about her."
I said, "Fuck that. I don't care about her."
She told me I was a horrible person and that no body trusts me.
Yeah, well, the only two people that actually care about her
somewhat don't trust me. That's because I don't like them. they're
both similiar... hating life...... CONVINCED! the whole world is
against them.
I just wrote it off... who cares.
BUT I REALLY DO CARE! DAMNIT! I'm so sick and tired of every
little annoying cunt thinking I care about them enough to actually talk
about them. I mean... if someone is a psychotic bitch... I'll tell
them, and I'll tell other people. But Jesus Christ, why can't they let
things go. I really don't want to be like them, so this is hard for me
to talk about, but WHY?!
Would you get offended if people that you didn't like anyway said
they didn't like you for <insert any given reason here>? Would you
waste the emotional effort to hate someone because they don't like you?
I don't really understand it. Maybe the hating is normal... but
why the constant dwelling on it? I don't like being sad... but they
can't seem to like it any other way. Hell... if it's sunny out.. they
lock themselves in the house to cry. If it's raining... they'll walk in
the rain and complain about the lack of sun. Why the FUCK can't they
come away from that shit... maybe that's why they're on about every
anti-depressent available..
Okay... end of the introductory rant. Here's the start of my
story....
I. Allison
==========
I met her a month after I became great friends with her older
sister, Annie. I knew from the first sniff of her she was trouble.
After 3 days of hanging out she decided she hated me. I,
worried, just ignored her, tried not to be around her... you know.. the
usual. She came up to me, and started trouble! So we made up, I don't
remember why. And from that point on... every week she found another
fucking reason to be mad at me. Little ones... usually resulting from
little selfish things I did to keep myself happy... nonetheless, little.
Nothing harmful to anyone... but anyways...
The only reason I ever was nice to her, repeadately was to make
it easy, 'cause I didn't care about her, and to make things easier for
her sister.
I've determined... Allison is the epitome of ignorance, and all
that good stuff that makes me not want to talk about her.
II. Sarah
=========
I fell in love with Sarah's simplicity the first time I saw her.
Straight blonde hair, empty blue eyes, khakis, and a black tight shirt.
I met her at a church (long story) and from then on we were close. We
gradually grew closer and closer until I (subconciously) released how
ignorant she was (I acknowledged it later on..) and in that ignorance I
found some comfort. I wanted her... bad. Everything I did, in
someway was to make her happy. She was my submissive, little, straight
girl... that even though she held my hand wherever we went... out of
fear... I could never, ever have her. There were times it looked
hopeful...
I remember talking to her on the phone one day, we were dating
brothers at the time... and she asked me if when we broke up with them
one day, if her and I could "go out" whatever that meant to her... who
knows.
She was always looking at some way to cling to me, closer then
she already was. It gradually started with the holding of hands, moving
to that point where she would kiss me, flirt, little girl like... it was
weird. That's all I can say...
I eventually acknowledged her ignorance. I quit calling her. I
quit hanging out with her. I even ignored her calls when I saw then on
my caller ID. I grew to hate, despise, abhor everything about her. In
good reason, too. Once school started I pretended things were normal
for simplicities sake. She wasn't worth my time anymore.
III. and
========
Sarah's nice to my face. Allison isn't.
Sarah hates me. Allison does, too.
Sarah tells others not to trust me.
As does Allison.
And I don't give two shits either way.
!!========================================================================!!
!! (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! #382 - WRITTEN BY: CAITLIN - 12/25/98 !!
