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The Hogs of Entropy 0343

eZine's profile picture
Published in 
The Hogs of Entropy
 · 26 Apr 2019

  


'##::::'##:::'#####:::'########: VIVA LA REVOLUCION! CERDO DEL CAPITALISTA!!
##:::: ##::'##.. ##:: ##.....:: ===========================================
##:::: ##:'##:::: ##: ##::::::: THE HELOTS OF ECSTASY PRESS RELEASE #343 !!
#########: ##:::: ##: ######::: ZIEGO VUANTAR SHALL BE MUCH VICTORIOUS! !!
##.... ##: ##:::: ##: ##...:::: ===========================================
##:::: ##:. ##:: ##:: ##::::::: "Annoying Scratch" !!
##:::: ##::. #####::: ########: by -> Glynis !!
..:::::..::::.....::::........:: 12/14/98 !!
!!========================================================================!!

For as long as i can remember, i've asked tattooed people "did
it hurt?" that's always the first question that comes out of
eveveryone's mouth. i mean, come on, this is a needle injecting ink
into your skin, what else are you supposed to ask? and for every
person that i can remember, the answer is always "well, it didn't
HURT...it just felt like an annoying scratch." this is at LEAST 5
people that said this. an annoying scratch.

the reason that i am writing this is to clarify this term
"annoying scratch." 2 weeks ago i got a tattoo. I've been wanting one
for a while now, i've just been too scared to get one. (i have a crazy
fear of needles, and pain of any sort) but i was driving back from
chicago with 2 of my friends and we were talking shit about how we were
just going to go get tattoos the next day. we werent REALLY going to,
we were just trapped in a car at 3 in the morning. so right before
they dropped me off at home, andrea said to me "so i'll call you at 2
and we'll go get tattooed"

"ok"

long story short, i end up in a tattoo place (in normal of all
places), still convinced i'm not getting one. of course by this time
i've already gone to the ATM, copied the picture, and signed the paper
saying i won't sue. STILL CONVINCED that i was NOT getting this
tattoo, i laid the $50 on the table and walked around back.

i'm talking to the big scary tattoo guy about how much it hurts.
here's the conversation...

Me: does this hurt?

big scary tattoo guy: no

me: but everyone says that about shots, and they're always lying

bstg: no, shots hurt, this doesn't

me: what about on the foot? i heard that hurts worse.

bstg: well, i'll be honest with you, if this is your first tattoo i
wouldn't reccomend the foot. the foot hurts. you should get it
on your leg.

my brain: don't be retarded. stupid people get them on the leg.

me: well i'm getting it on my foot. i don't care.

my brain: hahahaha yeah right. billy billy billy

so the next thing i know i'm sitting in the fucking chair with
this guy holding my foot. andrea and nikki are holding both my hands
and i'm shaking like crazy.

ok now here's my problem with the term "annoying scratch":
that didn't feel like an annoying scratch. it felt like A FUCKING
NEEDLE INJECTING INK INTO MY SKIN. i have virtually no skin on the top
of my foot, and this guy is digging into bone here. I don't know where
these people get "it doesn't HURT...."

PAIN = HURT

that was very painful, therefore it hurt. from now on when
people say it doesn't hurt, they are lying. it's not annoying, it's
painful. tell them to shut up.

so now that i've clarified that, you all know better. and even
though that is usually the first asked question, i'm in a completely
different situation. the first question I get is "is it smashing
pumpkins related?" i'm not going to answer that question. then after
i show them the tattoo i get "that doesn't look real. is it real?"
fuck you.

!!========================================================================!!
!! (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! #343 - WRITTEN BY: GLYNIS - 12/14/98 !!

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