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The Hogs of Entropy 0319
'##::::'##:::'#####:::'########: VIVA LA REVOLUCION! CERDO DEL CAPITALISTA!!
##:::: ##::'##.. ##:: ##.....:: ===========================================
##:::: ##:'##:::: ##: ##::::::: THE HELOTS OF ECSTASY PRESS RELEASE #319 !!
#########: ##:::: ##: ######::: ZIEGO VUANTAR SHALL BE MUCH VICTORIOUS! !!
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##:::: ##:. ##:: ##:: ##::::::: "Girls That Write Text Files Know !!
##:::: ##::. #####::: ########: Everything About Love" !!
..:::::..::::.....::::........:: by -> Mogel 12/9/98 !!
!!========================================================================!!
This article is for all the fellas. It's an established,
scientific fact that the majority of girls on planet earth suck. But
have you ever wondered to yourself, "where could I possibly meet a
cool girl? One that understands me, is intelligent, *and* fun? Is
that possible?"
If such a thing *is* possible, it can then be safely said that
girls who write text files would be the best place to look for love.
So, when choosing your next potential girlfriend, this would be a great
place to look.
Obviously there's the standard argument about any computer girl:
If you are a 'loser' like myself, and spend any degree of "too much
time" online, finding a girl on the computer is more likely someone you
can readily relate to. But Text File Girls are that... and so much
more!
But, you may ask, why *text files*?
Articulation, my friends. The text file writer spends some
portion of their computer-related time composing their thoughts, being
introspective, and (ideally) finding something clever to say. This
process is simple -- she is working on her communication skills. Indeed,
this could also be *theoretically* done through such things as e-mail,
making an interesting web page, writing in general, or even chat
(although usually not) -- but none of these mediums do the job as
effectively and clearly as writing a text file.
The girl text file writer must carefully choose her words, and
quite often must express her thoughts to a potential mass-audience. The
e-mail writer or chat user is lazy, or disinterested. We all know both
mediums are a very poor substitute for conversation, and therefore
limited, since that is what their aim is at simulating. The text file
writer is focused on *writing*, *style*, and expressing themself.
Let's speak comparatively for a moment. This is an example your
average HappyChat Girl.
<sweettits> hehehehe a/s/l???
Is this the kind of person you honestly want to get to know in
real life? HappyChat Girl conversations consist of endless flirtation,
thousands of emoticons, and of course, the traditional "JPG exchange"!
Comparatively speaking, if it's between a text file and a sexy JPG -- the
JPG might (hopefully) incite lust, but text file is really what is going
to show the girl's thinking and personality and the stuff that makes
love last.
A sexy, non-t-file girl can only impress you so much. Even
if she's got breasts the size of mountains, there's just so many times
you can see them before you get used to them. If a girl is relying
solely on her attractiveness, she's going to end up being ignored
eventually. That's how life is. A Text File Girl will continually be
able to create interesting things for you to read and (hopefully)
appreciate.
You can also detect quite a lot about a girl based on the text
files she writers, socio-linguistically. The words they choose can
usually tell you quite a bit about their background, personality,
culture, hipness, likes and dislikes, and so on. Even the way she uses
her grammar can allow you to compare how anal-retentive you are with
the girl in question.
For example, if Murmur were reading a text file with mistakes,
he would say, "That's completely absurd! She can't even use her
apostrophes correctly$#@!" and would immediately fall to the floor in
convulsions.
Even starting conversation with a Text Files Girl is usually
easy. Her writing basically can serve as an ideal starting point for
any conversation. You can discuss your opinions on them, give feedback
on how it was written, and so on. Be aware that disagreeing with the
content of the text file will vary from girl to girl, and from subject
to subject, depending on her level of sensitivity.
HOE E'zine is very pleased to have probably more female writers
than any other text file group in history. Yet another testimony of
why we're cool and you're not. Okay, that's a lie. You're cool, too.
Just not as much.
No offense.
!!========================================================================!!
!! (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! #319 - WRITTEN BY: MOGEL - 12/9/98 !!
