The Hogs of Entropy 0317

eZine lover (@eZine)

Published in 

The Hogs of Entropy

 · 5 years ago

  

 
 '##::::'##:::'#####:::'########: VIVA LA REVOLUCION! CERDO DEL CAPITALISTA!! 
  ##:::: ##::'##.. ##:: ##.....:: =========================================== 
  ##:::: ##:'##:::: ##: ##::::::: THE HELOTS OF ECSTASY PRESS RELEASE #317 !! 
  #########: ##:::: ##: ######::: ZIEGO VUANTAR SHALL BE MUCH VICTORIOUS!  !! 
  ##.... ##: ##:::: ##: ##...:::: =========================================== 
  ##:::: ##:. ##:: ##:: ##::::::: "HOE Supports Teleconferences"           !! 
  ##:::: ##::. #####::: ########: by -> Tasha                              !! 
 ..:::::..::::.....::::........:: 12/9/98                                  !! 
 !!========================================================================!! 

        About 20 seconds after you connect to IRC, and join #ezines, if 
 you're one of the elite that write text files and actually join #ezines, 
 you will get a message that says something along the lines of: 

        "conf! # - 8881234567 ID - 898765." 

        Do not worry, it's not some secret meeting to take over the world, 
 and even if it was, the h0e staff could not takeover the world, we've all 
 been  captured! Anyway, this is just a number to join a teleconference. 
 We love teleconferences, yes we do!  But before you fall for one of these 
 innocent-sounding, multi-person phone conversations, maybe you should 
 know a few things. 

        On a h0e teleconference, we do not talk about h0e, well, except 
 for Mogel, who tells everyone to write something.  There will always be a 
 quick rehash of last night's wrestling, and if you didn't watch, don't 
 say it, because you will be instantly deemed as lame, or sucky, or some 
 other negative adjective the h0e staff likes to use. 

        Then, around 2am, everyone will say "man, I need to go to sleep, 
 wait, let me check what classes I have tomorrow.  Oh, nevermind, I just 
 have the class where we learn the meaning of life...and I know what that 
 is already...it's anal sex!" "warez warez warez warez warez warez warez 
 warez warez."  So, after deciding that sleep is not needed, there will be 
 more pointless conversation, which will always end up involving various 
 webpages with content such as, "She failed 9th grade, she's not out of 
 high school yet!"  Then, everyone will giggle, and go look at the 
 webpage.  And in the midst of all this giggling, someone will have the 
 positively great idea to pretend they are Satan, or maybe the leadsinger 
 of Limp Bizkit. 

        Caution: That is a damn good impression of Limp Bizkit (Kreid), 
 but it sucks even more than the actual singer/band/whatever. 

        And after we all giggle more at the lovely impersonation, someone 
 (read: SwissPope) will make some odd comment merely for shock value, and 
 all the girls will giggle, like all proper girls do.  Then, there will be 
 a comment about SwissPope "mackin' on the ladies," or something, and out 
 of nowhere you will hear, "douchebag." 

        Yes, you thought douchebag wasn't said anymore in 1998, but you 
 were wrong.  "Shut the fuck up, douchebag," "I feel a h0e file comin' 
 from that one!", "will it be about ANAL SEX?" "shut up, the girls are 
 trying to talk to each other...what was that (insert name of the wrong 
 girl who said something here)," "no, the other girl said that," "you all 
 sound the fucking same," "I smell a h0e file comin' from that one!" "I AM 
 SATAN," "shut the fuck up, douchebag," "the girls are trying to talk to 
 each other again, dude," "man, whenever I say represent I just end up 
 sounding white." 

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 !! (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS!       #317 - WRITTEN BY: TASHA - 12/9/98 !!