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The Hogs of Entropy 0276
'##::::'##:::'#####:::'########: VIVA LA REVOLUCION! CERDO DEL CAPITALISTA!!
##:::: ##::'##.. ##:: ##.....:: ===========================================
##:::: ##:'##:::: ##: ##::::::: THE HELOTS OF ECSTACY PRESS RELEASE #276 !!
#########: ##:::: ##: ######::: ZIEGO VUANTAR SHALL BE MUCH VICTORIOUS! !!
##.... ##: ##:::: ##: ##...:::: ===========================================
##:::: ##:. ##:: ##:: ##::::::: "Librarian Phone Sex" !!
##:::: ##::. #####::: ########: by -> Mutter !!
..:::::..::::.....::::........:: 11/9/98 !!
!!========================================================================!!
I actually worked at a library for quite some time (putting
thousands of books back on countless shelves day in and day out can be
about as rewarding as it sounds). While working there I got to know
several librarians. As is the case with most people I always had this
notion that librarians were just quiet, mild mannered members of the
community. But as I soon learned, this was not the case. Behind those
coke-bottle glasses and pocket protectors lies a different side that
most people don't get to see... a dark side.
One day, while walking into the building I noticed one of my book
keeper co-workers quietly whispering in the phone with his eyes closed.
When he noticed me staring he quickly hung up the phone and headed
towards the back room. As the door to the back room slammed closed I
noticed a little LED light up on the phone indicating that the line was
suddenly in use. Curiousity got the better of me and I slowly lifted up
the receiver to hear...
1-9-0-0-B-O-O-K-S-E-X
<brrrring>
<...>
<brrrring>
<click>
"hello, baby."
"hey, whom I speaking with?"
"Margret, the librarian, baby. Who's this?"
"Irving. What do you look like?"
"I'm 6'1, old, and wear my hair in a bun."
"yeah, baby."
"I also have bi-foculs... THICK bifoculs."
"oh yeah, baby, tell me how thick."
"VERY thick. Almost a half inch."
"Yeahhhh. I'm touching your books, Margret."
"Oooo, that feels good."
"I'm shelving your books, baby."
"Please do. Harder."
"I'm really using my dewy decimal system now."
"Ohhh. Come on, baby. Slide those books in gently."
"Yeah. I'm reading your shelves, baby."
"Look me up in the card catalog."
"ohh yeah, Margret."
"Now what are you going to do to me?"
"It seems you've been a bad girl, margeret. Your books are overdue."
"Oh, baby, punish me."
"I'll show you how you'll pay your fine. First I'll take the
transaction card and slide it into the book's pocket."
"Ohhh, yeah, come on, irving."
"...then I slide the transaction card out... in and out... in and out...
uhhhhhhhhhh."
"Yeahhh, bring it on home, irving."
"Gimme some dewey decimal action, margeret."
"oh yeah, 398.27a."
"Uhhh."
"612.80p"
"Oh yeahhh"
"976.57s"
"uhhhhh... Yeah, baby. I'll talk to you again tomorrow."
<click>
Careful, "a pretty face can hide an evil mind". Run from those
bookworm sickos!@#
!!========================================================================!!
!! (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! #276 - WRITTEN BY: MUTTER - 11/9/98 !!
