The Hogs of Entropy 0266

Published in

· 5 years ago

  

 
 '##::::'##:::'#####:::'########: VIVA LA REVOLUCION! CERDO DEL CAPITALISTA!! 
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  ##:::: ##:'##:::: ##: ##::::::: THE HELOTS OF ECSTACY PRESS RELEASE #266 !! 
  #########: ##:::: ##: ######::: ZIEGO VUANTAR SHALL BE MUCH VICTORIOUS!  !! 
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  ##:::: ##:. ##:: ##:: ##:::::::    "Bruce Corey's 15 Minutes of Fame:    !! 
  ##:::: ##::. #####::: ########:      An Interview in the Dew Cycle"      !! 
 ..:::::..::::.....::::........:: by -> Fenris J. Sunswallower     11/4/98 !! 
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 Fenris: What is your reaction to the connection between Dew and the  
         International Communist Conspiracy? 
 The Guy: I'm gonna stop drinkin' it if that's true. 
 F: Would you willingly follow the Communist Party? 
 T: No. That's a stupid question. 
 F: Would you finance them by purchasing products from the Pepsi Cola 
    Company? 
 T: Guess I do, don't I? 
 F: Do you drink Dew? 
 T: (nods) Not from now on... 
 F: In a war, would you side with the USA or the Trialateral Commission? 
 T: (after several lengthy explanations of what exactly the Trilateral  
    Commission is) On ours, of course. I'd kill em all. 
 F: What would your reaction be if we told you that the Commission is using 
    Dew to lower the sperm count of every male in America, and thus make us 
    easier to conquer in a prolonged war? 
 T: I'd assassinate 'em.  All of 'em. 
 F: And if we told you that there is evidence in the book of Revelation that 
    the Communists and the Trialateral Commission where going to suceed 
    around the turn of the century?  
 T: I dunno... I think most of what's in the Bible is true... All of it, in 
    fact. If that was in the Bible, then I'd have to say They'd forged it. 
 F: What role does 711 play in the International Communist Conspiracy? 
 T: Probably all pawns. Paid to do it, you know? 
    (At this point, a man walked in, tried to pull the old "but I gave you 
    a 20" trick, failed, and left. The Guy chuckled for a while, impressed 
    with his wit at avoiding the con, and returned to our interview.) 
 F: And what do you think his role in the whole thing is? 
 T: He's the leader, undoubtably. 
 F: What would you do to him, given 10 feet of rope and a handgun? 
 T: ....Hang 'em, then shoot 'em? 
 F: Do you phear Mogel? 
 T: (chuckles) I don't fear no man. I'd just shoot this guy. 
 F: Finally, what fruit does Mountain Dew taste like? 
 T: Watermelon. 

        What an idiot. 

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 !!   (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! #266, Fenris J. Sunswallower - 11/4/98 !!