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The Hogs of Entropy 0258
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>> "Hello, This Submission Is So Bad It's Funny" <<
by -> Northstar
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Date: 10:01 pm Tue Dec 1, 1994 Number : 47 of 66
From: Northstar Base : Private Mail
To : Mogel Refer #: None
Subj: Tried chatting Replies: None
Stat: Normal Origin : Local
Well I'd like to join HoE. I've written for YEAh and SiKE. they are both
fairly new and just have small writing sections. That is why I'd like to
join you or PeZ. A real writing group... Hmm, I wonder if my YEAh files ever
got to you???:) I hope so... Well I hope ya like the file, you may edit
the top part of this file anyway you like, and the end. In other words
if accepted you can put your cute little HoG:)
_______________________________________________________________
| |
| LIFE OF THE TRIX RABBIT! |
| |
| WRITTEN BY Northstar. |
| |
| |
| Once again, change this part with your little HoE symbol..|
|______________________________________________________________|
INFO
~~~~
Well I'd like to join HoE. I'm writing this for my app:) And if I offend
anyone in this file, then FUCK YOU! Learn to take a joke... geez, get a
sense of humor!<g>
Now our feature presentation....
Well I'm writing this on my death bed... I've been starving myself for weeks.
I am...... THE TRIX RABBIT!! I know what you are thinking...well, I'm
starving myself until they stop animal cruelty! All those years! all those
commercials! All those supermarket adds! BUT STILL, I'VE NEVER TASTED TRIX!
It looks so good, why??? Oh why, Do they not let me have some??? They made
me their spokesperson, promise me fame, money, great sex, but they never
gave me the ONE things I needed.... a bowl of TRIX.
I tried everything, paying people to buy it for me, dressing as a kid,
stealing it, and not one time did it work!!! My life is meaningless without
TRIX. I'll either have some TRIX now, or die never knowing how it tastes.
Just then the doctor arrived. He pleaded with me to eat, he said they'd
stick needles in me, but I answered him, "Either you get me a bowl of TRIX
or get the FUCK outta my mansion!" He left...
Next came my agent. He begged me to eat again. He said that if I die, he
will have no job. he was living on the %85.443342323333999992203300330303093
of my salary. BUT ONCE AGAIN, ALL I WANTED WAS A FUCKIN BOWL OF TRIX! IS THAT
SO HARD??????? He left too...
Then it came to me. maybe they want me dead? Maybe if I kill myself, they
will be happy? It made me think if I was doing the right thing...
It all came to me in a dream. In it was a person I had never met. It was a
bunny, but not like me... he had a bushier tail, and just looked more like
a bunny... I am a rabbit!! A RABBIT! WHY SOME PEOPLE CALL ME THE TRIX
BUNNY, I DO NOT UNDERSTAND!!!! Well back to the dream, he said his name
was, Moogie. Any relation, to that really 3lite Dewd named Mogel is not
known<g> From him I finally found out why they are so relunctant to give me
TRIX and do not care if i die... You see if I do die, then they simply hire
this new guy... I wonder who he is...
Now it all seems like my life has become worthless... If I die, nobody will
miss me.. decisions decisions...
The next day my friends, Snap, Crackle, and Pop came to visit me.. they told
me how they never tasted their cereals, and they don't give a shit. They
told me how after i eat the shitty cereal I'd probably never want to do
another commercial for it again. But, I refuse to give up on my quest,
TO EAT TRIX, OR TO DIE!
Now my starvation diet is all over the news... It seems people find it funny.
How can somebody find humor in somebody's troubles??? My life is full of
disappointment. Remember the great sex they promised me? It wasn't as good
as they said it would be.. Now the blow jobs were great, but the fucks
just weren't 'up to my expections and hopes'. That Barbara walters...
If I get one more for a request for an interview I will have her killed!!
I mean she acts like she is such a big shit, but we all know the truth...
Well it looks like the Studio is caving in. They have promised me more money
if I stop asking, off camer of course, for TRIX.I said no, but it shows
that they are willing to try...
I'm still starving myself... I look like a little Rabbit of age 16. I'm
actually 17, but the studio exec's mademe look like 20 something...
2 more weeks have passed by, I cannot write, and I can, uhhgg, barely talk.
<*COUGH*> AHEM... I have my voice back for the moment.. telling my
secretary what to type.. All this for a fucking bowl of TRIX! Is it worth it?
I cannot say anymore.... I must sleep... The long and eternal sleep...
The next day they brought me TRIX on the condition I never tell anyone. Oh
all those colors, those fruity shapes... I can harddly resist. I leap out
of bed, using the last energy I had left. Grab the spoon, I make sure all
the shapes are on the spoon so that in one bite I can know if it was worth it!
I swallow it down. SHIT! That is what it tastes like! Snap, Crackle, and Pop
were right! This stuff sux! I run to the bathroom, falling along the way.
I puke my guts out.. I ask myself was it worth it? HELL NO! I then start
feeling sleepy... The last thing I remember is my eyelids shutting, and
then I see a white light........
***************THIS JUST IN! TRIX BUNNY PRONOUNCED DEAD***********************
Yes folks... his time has finally come. The exact cause of his death is
unkown. More information at 10:00.
******************************************************************************
Two days later, a new spokesperson is named...MOGEL!
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* (c) HoE publications. HoE #258 -- written by Northstar -- 8/16/98 *
