The Hogs of Entropy 0251

Published in

· 5 years ago

  

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                          >> The Gingerbread Man << 
                                 by -> File13 

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There once were an old lady and an old man.  One day when the old man had 
taken a break from his afternoon drug deals, he came home to have a meal with 
his hoe.  "Hey woman, I don't want no collard greens and fried chicken today. 
I want you to make me a gingerbread man.  Nothing satisfies me like a 
gingerbread man," said the old gangster.  The old man left the house because 
he had an appointment for a drive by shooting at 4:30, and it was almost 4 
o'clock already. The woman realized she had better hurry up and make the 
delicious treat for him since he had just paid for the last of her gold teeth. 
It took 30 minutes for it to bake, so she dreak a couple of bottles of colt 45 
while she waited.  Ding!  She heard the timer go off, and she set her fine 
alcoholic beverage down.  She went and opened the oven, and out popped her 
gingerbread man.  She jumped back, startled, and the little cookie said, "Hey 
bizzatch, when does your husband come back, because, um. . . you know. . ." 
She looked at him funny and thought, "Hey, I made this guy, so I'm kin to him. 
Hell, I've slept with everyone else I'm kin to, might as well."  She led the 
gingerbread man into her bedroom. It was 6 o'clock before the old woman knew 
it.  Time for her husband to get home.  He walked in the house to the sweet 
smell of gingerbread man.  He couldn't find his wife or the gingerbread man 
anywhere.  "That communist hoe had better not have been eatin' my gingerbread 
man," he mumbled to himself.  He finally went to check his bedroom to see if 
his bitch was laying down for a nap or something.  He walked in, and saw that 
she hadn't been napping at all.  Both her and the gingerbread man lay in bed 
with cigarettes hanging out of their mouths.  He was amazed.  He hadn't been 
able to lay her down for a couple of weeks, but the gingerbread man was able 
to do it in a matter of minutes.  The old man snapped out of his amazement and 
grasped the reality of the situation, but before he had time to do anything, 
the gingerbread man pulled out his 9 and busted a cap on the old man.  The 
gingerbread man said, "Now that's what I call a sticky situation.  Let's go 
get some icecream." 

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    * (c) HoE publications.  HoE #251 -- written by File13 -- 7/15/98 *