The Hogs of Entropy 0253

eZine lover (@eZine)

Published in 

The Hogs of Entropy

 · 5 years ago

  

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                                $$$$$$$$$$$   hogz of entropy #253 
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                              >> Apotheosis << 
                               by -> Lifelike 

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<lifelike> i realized as i was peeling potatoes that LIFE is a lot like a 
           POTATO 
<lifelike> when you peel it, that is 
<lifelike> 'cause when you peel them, you take the tip of the peeler & 
           dig into it if you find a black spot or something 
<lifelike> & you gotta do that with LIFE 
<lifelike> you gotta DIG AT IT with a SHARP OBJECT until you get out the 
           bad parts 
<lifelike> the parts you can't eat 
<lifelike> the parts that make you sick 
<lifelike> & you THROW THEM IN THE TRASH 
<lifelike> with the PEELS 
<lifelike> actually 
<lifelike> potatoes are more like individual relationships than LIFE in 
           general 
<lifelike> 'cause each relationship starts out covered in dirt 
<lifelike> & you gotta peel that shit off 
<lifelike> & reveal the white skin of the starchy tuber beneath 
<lifelike> & when you happen upon those black spots 
<lifelike> you gotta DIG THEM OUT 
<lifelike> you gotta D1G TH3M 0UT 
<lifelike> you gotta have fear in your heart 
<lifelike> & then sometimes you find a MOLDY old PIECE OF SHIT POTATO 
<lifelike> & you think you can SAVE IT from its STAGNATION 
<lifelike> & YOU WANT TO DATE IT 
<lifelike> because you think it can LOVE YOU LIKE NO OTHER, because IT'S 
           SEEN PAIN TOO 
<lifelike> but it's REALLY just DIRTY & FULL OF MOLD & HAS A STINK 
<lifelike> & you realize, after you've cut your fingers with the 
           vegetable peeler TOO MANY TIMES TO COUNT 
<lifelike> that maybe it's NOT WORTH SAVING 
<lifelike> & sometimes, you need to just THROW ONE AWAY, WHOLE 
<lifelike> nothing more can be done for it. 
<lifelike> ... 
<lifelike> my potatoes, much like my relationships, are now cut into 
           little pieces & in a pot of boiling water in my kitchen. 
<lifelike> soon i'll mash them 
<lifelike> & add milk & butter & some salt 
<lifelike> it's all cycles, man. 

<lifelike> potatoes take a long time to cook 
<lifelike> HOLY SHIT 
<lifelike> SO DO RELATIONSHIPS 
<lifelike> you gotta have PATIENCE for the potatos to be cooked all the 
           way through 
<lifelike> otherwise you come out with LUMPS ALL THROUGHOUT  
<lifelike> & i always think i put in too much milk when i'm mashing them 
<lifelike> but it always turns out to be JUST THE RIGHT AMOUNT 
<lifelike> it's like something otherworldly is watching over me, 
           protecting me from the horror of a whole pot of runny mashed 
           potatoes 
<lifelike> but uh, i guess that's where things differ in this stupid 
           analogy 
<lifelike> 'cause no one can protect us from BAD RELATIONSHIPS 

<lifelike> i make excellent mashed potatoes. 

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   * (c) HoE publications.  HoE #253 -- written by Lifelike -- 7/15/98 *