The Hogs of Entropy 0165

eZine lover (@eZine)

Published in 

The Hogs of Entropy

 · 5 years ago

  

 
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                                $$$$$$$$$$$  hogz of entropy #165 
               $$$$$P           $$$$   $$$$  moo, oink, up your butt. 
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                         >> "Can I be a Barber, Mom?" << 

                                  by -> Jook 

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        so, like, i went to get my hair cut the yesterday. mmm hmm. my hair 
 is like this to me: it's nice and all and i like it the way i want. my mom, 
 though, oh muh mom. 

        see, i'm home for christmas break and stuff. so, like, she says stuff 
 to me like: 

        "you want money for a haircut, hun?," on monday. 

        and on tuesday she'll say "so, do you want me to call shorty's and 
 set up an apointment for you?" 

        and then on wednesday, she'll just leave the money on muh bed. so i 
 finally give in, take the money, call the barber shop and set up an 
 appointment. 

        i would like everyone to know the world is a better place because of 
 this haircut. i know look like a complete freak. no barber, in their right 
 mind, would cut a set of hair like they did mine, and let you go. so chuck, 
 the guy who cut muh hair, musn't have been in his right mind. see, he cut it 
 real, real bad. see, it looks like one of those green helmets the original 
 gijoe figures came with that snapped on and stuff. mmm hmm. 

        i went to this place called _shorty's_. shorty has been dead for a 
 good 10 years now. i've never met him -- only been going to shorty's for 9. 
 i took a couple of years off, though. mainly because i don't get muh hair 
 cut more than twice a year and also because i've been getting muh hair cut 
 at this lame hair place that muh mom's friend owns. only problem is that she 
 can't cut hair. 

        _shorty's_ is like one of those old fashioned places. they got those 
 old chairs that spin around and around and around and around and they got 
 these comb displays and they got bubble gum dispensers. 

        so they guy who cut muh hair was chuck. he's not so attractive. he 
 also likes to talk about the green bay packers a lot. maybe murmur should go 
 get his hair cut there. he better wear his green bay packers boxers, though, 
 if you know what i mean. 

        so i get there and he says, "how do you want it, owen?" 

        and i say "i want it long in the front. in fact, don't even touch the 
 front. and i want it really short in the back. and, uh, don't touch the 
 sideburns." 

        he gets his razor out. MRRRRRRRRRRRRR. there go 3/4's of muh 
 sideburns. and like, to make a long story short, he cuts my hair so i look 
 stupid. 

        but muh point is, i want to be a barber, because no barber can cut 
 hair. not a single one. if i was a barber, i would cut everyone's hair 
 because i would be the only one who knew how to cut hair. and my hair 
 cutting place would be called "THE ONLY PLACE THAT GIVES A GOOD HAIRCUT". 

        moral: chuck isn't attractive, and murmur should wear his packers 
 boxer shorts. 

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      * (c) HoE publications.  HoE #165 -- written by Jook -- 12/18/97 *