The Hogs of Entropy 0171

Published in

· 5 years ago

  

      ___           ___           ___ 
     /\  \         /\  \         /\__\     the glorious hogs of entropy 
     \:\  \       /::\  \       /:/ _/_          present unto you 
      \:\  \     /:/\:\  \     /:/ /\__\            issue #171 
  ___ /::\  \   /:/  \:\  \   /:/ /:/ _/_ 
 /\  /:/\:\__\ /:/__/ \:\__\ /:/_/:/ /\__\   >> "The Hanson Scourge" << 
 \:\/:/  \/__/ \:\  \ /:/  / \:\/:/ /:/  /         by -> DeusVitae 
  \::/__/       \:\  /:/  /   \::/_/:/  /  n 
   \:\  \  o     \:\/:/  /     \:\/:/  /  t        oink you, sucker. 
    \:\__\  g     \::/  /  f    \::/  /  r 
     \/__/   s     \/__/         \/__/    o p y 

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        A theory has come to light concerning the growth of Hanson and the 
 secret plan to undermine the nation using their music. 

        First, Hanson is a modern alternative band comprising of three 
 "old-boy" brothers that have extremely high voices and look like women. 
 This fits well with the government's latest plan. 

        The Government has decided that there are too few people in insane 
 asylums and that those institutions are no longer profitable.  So, they have 
 bought out Hanson to serve their evil purposes. 

        Their plan is to add high frequency waves to the Hanson songs in 
 order to drive Americans mad.  This is not difficult to do, ans Hanson 
 already sings at a gender-questioning pitch.  The only problem was that 
 their songs needed air time... 

        The Government, cruel as it is, devised a successful scheme to get 
 their songs air time.  Reliable sources have proven that the food consumed 
 by middle school students all over the nation has been tainted with 
 radioactive estrogen, therefore driving all the middle schools who fall prey 
 to it into Hanson-loving fits, and so they ask to hear it on the radio. 
 And, since the only songs people easily memorize are those they hate, 
 everyone knows and sings Hanson. 

        Their plan has been successful.  The number of people being 
 institutionalized has risen 200% over the past few months.  Don't let this 
 happen to you: I advise you all to immediately submit yourselves to 
 anti-Hanson brainwashing and quarantines, so that the wicked Government does 
 not defeat us. 

 - Sources to remain confidential.  Have a good day. 

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   * (c) HoE publications.  HoE #171 -- written by DeusVitae -- 12/30/97 *