Copy Link
Add to Bookmark
Report
The Hogs of Entropy 0130
$$$$$$$$$$$
$$$$$$$$$$$ hogz of entropy #130
$$$$$P $$$$ $$$$ moo, oink, up your butt.
$$$$P $$$$ x$$$$
$$$P $$$$ xP$$$$ d$$$$$$$$$$$.
$$$. $$$$xP $$$$ $$$$$$' >$$$$
$$$$$$$$$. $$$$P $$$$ 4$$$$$. .$$$$'
$$$$'`4$$$b. $$$$ $$$$ 4$$$$$$$$$P'
$$$$b 4$$$$b. $$$$$$$$$$$ 4$$$< %%
$$$$$b 4$$$$$x $$$$$$$$$$$ 4$$$$$$$$$ %%
>> "How to Kill Your Roommate and Frame Her Fat Friends" <<
by -> Muze
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Someone posed a really stupid question today on my radio show. "If
7-11's are open 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?"
OHMYGOD! I thought. Doors aren't made without locks. Especially
business doors. Fuckin' idiot.
And why do people always talk about how they're gonna do all this
stuff and "Oh, it's going to be so great" and then two hours later they're
doing something so detrimental to the original plan that you feel they need
to be shot. Well, go shoot them. I give you permission. When the judge
asks why you did it, just tell them "Muze told me to, she said it was OK."
The judge should let you off with about 10 years prison time. People
always get pissed at me cuz I won't play their game. You know, smile and be
happy no matter what's thrown your way. Act appropriatly. Me? I'm sas all
the time, well, not _all_ the time, but mostly. I'm not goth, people mistake
me for goth, but I don't want to pretend I'm dead. People get mad at me cuz
I don't get all happy for them when something good happens for/to them. I'm
selfish I guess. I need to care about the person to be happy for them.
The longer I stay in shcool, the dumber I feel. School is supposed
to make you smarter. I'm not Polish, so it must be the schools fault, it
_is_ a Catholic school. At least they don't try to make me go to church or
anything.
I'm pissed off. I went to grab my dictionary yesterday and my hand
stuck to it. "This isn't right," I thought. I picked it up and it had
sticky orange spots all over it. So I looked in the corner it was in to
investigate. There was orange soda spilled all over my stuff, books, coffee,
coffee pot, electrical cords and sockets, old keyboard that used to work but
doesn't anymore thanks to my bitch ass roommate and her fat friends. I asked
her about it and of course she knows nothing, but she'll ask her friends
about it. They probably know nothing too. I'm gonna charge them to use my
computer. $5 a week, every Monday, no money, keyboard gets locked.
I know this is anal, but I want to kill my roommate, so maybe I can
kill her by making her walk to the computer lab, she'll either waste away to
nothing, or freeze to death when she can't get her fat ass out of the snow
banks that pile up around the dorms because this is the Midwest. I think
what I'll do is borrow a bunch of stuffed animals from friends and tie
nooses around their necks. Then I'll hang them all over the room. Then I
sit in a corner holding my knees to my chest rocking and looking up at the
hanged animals saying "You shouldn't have done that." I'll be sure to get a
single then.
A list needs to be made "How to scare your roommate and her fat
friends" *or* "How to kill your roommate and frame her fat friends."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
* (c) HoE publications. HoE #130 -- written by Muze -- 11/5/97 *
