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The Hogs of Entropy 0118
<< THE HOGS OF ENTROPY, KEEPERS OF THE GLORIOUS TEXT FILE PRESENT >>
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_// _// _// _// _// _// - moo!!
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_// _////// _// _// _// _////// _// - moo!!
_// _// _// _// _// _// _// - oink!
_// _// _// _// _// _// _// - moo!!
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<< HOE ISSUE #118 >>
>> "so much to live for, so much to die for, right?" <<
by -> kheldar
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6:33 am. Mike gets up groggily, grabs a pair of pants and a shirt,
and heads toward the bathroom. In use. "No problem, I'll just grab
something to eat," Mike thinks to himself. He walks down the stairs, now
almost fully awake. He eats breakfast like everyone else in the entire
town, not even thinking of how much this day will be just like the others.
The same routine, the same conversations, the same life. Angst? Mike
doesn't have a clue. Never heard the word, probably couldn't even spell
it.
After Mike spends his designated 10 minutes in the shower, cleans
up, packs his lunch and his milk money, he hops into the car cheerfully and
rides to school. He innocently says hi to everyone whom he knows, not
noticing their tone of voice, or even their facial expression. Why should
he pay attention to that? I mean, everyone's nice to Mike!
It's all the same, thought Mike doesn't realize it. There's
nothing behind why he's always picked last for sports. When people make
fun of him, it's all in good humor. Why should he get mad at anything? He
has his whole life ahead of him.
Now, Mike is your typical seventh grader. A little on the short
side, and a tad bit smarter than his peers. He doesn't really hang out
with the sports crowd, because they tend to ignore him, but that's because
he hasn't proven himself, right? Now it's about this time that Mike begins
to notice members of the opposite sex. Hmmm... Girls? Hey, look at that,
she's being nice to me! He thinks, as he's invited to a party. "Next
Friday at 8? I'll be there!" He says with a smile. Mike likes to smile.
He has lots to be happy about.
Party. Fun. Music. Dancing. Hey, she asked me to dance! Look,
I'm dancing with a girl! After the party. Wow, that girl called me! I
must be special to her. She likes me! Yeah, I have a real good chance
with her, but I think I'll wait a little while. No need to be impatient!
And so it goes. Week after week. Hanging around the girl, waiting
for her to make the first move. "She's just shy like me." "Maybe she
wants me to make the first move." "She likes me, but doesn't think I like
her." And so on, and so forth. Keep making the excuses, Mike. Sunrise,
sunset. Sunrise, sunset.
HEY! Why's she talking with that guy? She never laughs that much
at my jokes! Why isn't she talking to me? That's not fair, I thought you
were my friend! Looks like she's drained you, bud. So Mike goes and talks
to his friend. He doesn't quite realize that the "friend" doesn't like him
that much. He's a bit too civil, but he doesn't quite seem to notice.
"You should ask her out, d00d!" "Yeah, good idea, but what about that
other guy?" "Ummm... Ask her out, d00d!"
Another month. It's been what, 6 now? Another, and another. You
feel yourself feeling worse and worse, don't you Mike? You only talk to
her about once a week. Every other week. Every month. Look at your heart
change it's little red hues into violet, blue, purple, black. Look at your
mood swings, look at your depression. Look at her rip your heart out and
stomp on it, Mike. Take a real good look. Know you think you know what
angst is, don't you? Yeah, you sing the same old song. It happened to
seventy thousand other people at the exact same time it happened to you,
but you don't know that, and you wouldn't comprehend it if you did.
Look at you. You sit at home writing in your little purple and
black diary, with yellow stripes. Yeah, you've got so much angst, don't
you? Well, if you weren't the same little prepackaged product maybe you
would be, but you came in a box, my friend, and you're just a serial
number. You may as well not exist, right? Yeah, you'd be so much better
off dead, wouldn't you? Nothing to live for, right? You think so, but in
time, you'll forget, and if you don't, you won't care. In fact, you won't
care much about anything.... that is, until you turn into an adult, and
conform to what society wants you to be like. You have your own office
with a window, right? Yeah, I'll bet. Catch you on the flip side, my
friend.
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* (c) HoE publications. HoE #118 -- written by kheldar -- 6/11/97 *
