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The Hogs of Entropy 0103
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>> "the rise of the mogels, part one" <<
by -> eerie
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the mad scientist entered the experiment room & said hi to his
evil assistant:
"hi, evil assistant!!!"
"oh, here you are, mad scientist! i'm completely ready for the
first experiment in human cloning!"
"fine!!! fine!#! so did we decide on a guinea pig yet?"
"actually, we've been considering every existing group of people
from which we could pick up our top notch guinea pig. like, we checked
lawyers, but hey, they could sue us if we fuck up. or like, web page
designers & isp sysadmins, but their egos won't fit in the cloning
machine."
"damn, that's one hell of a problem."
"not really, but i like to make it sound like one. actually, what
we have to worry about is that we can't go clone someone that's dangerous
-- you never know the impact it can have on life in america. we'd most
likely duplicate someone who has no influence whatsover, even though an
overall nice, easy to get along with person, you know?"
"like, you'd need forrest gump."
"well, we need someone whose disappearance would be left
unnoticed. but we found it. _the_ (& you can quote me on this &
underscore the word "the") most useless, harmless, & generally overlooked
job in america is actually _e-zine editor_."
"oh my god, it's so obvious, i wonder why i haven't thought of
it."
"well, you don't read those things, do you?"
"of course not. well, i did check out suck once."
"we found the perfect e-zine, mad scientist, it's called _doomed
to obscurity_, & it's basically doomed to, well, you know."
"heh heh heh. so who is the editor of this z .. zy .. zeen?"
"his name is _mogel_."
"get him. now."
---
mogel was then caught by evil fbi agents who brought him in the
mad scientist's mansion. then, they put him in the cloning machine.
flashes of lights began to appear everywhere & suddenly, the room got
filled with thousands of mogels, all looking the exact same.
"this is perfect", mad scientist said. "let's see how they react
now!"
"say something!" asked evil assistant.
a token mogel said: "i like soup."
another token mogel added: "me too!"
then another: "me t0o!!!"
"me ToO!!!#!"
"mE tO0!/$%?$/"
"oh my god," the evil assistant said. "i think we fucked up."
"mE t0O!#!$!|%/!$/!$%/%?/$" the whole crowd of mogels responded,
as they left the room & took over the universe & the state of delaware.
next episode: the MOGELs vs. the NYBARs!
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* (c) HoE publications & metalchick. HoE 103 - written by eerie - 6/11/97 *
