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The Hogs of Entropy 0086
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| | ...Hogs of Entropy Text Files Present... | |
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| | "Essays from my Childhood" | |
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| | By: Pip the Angry Youth | |
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While cleaning out my drawers and folders from reports I did back in the
3rd and 4th grade, I found all those old reports that I did for school. I
thought you'd enjoy them immensely, so I typed them up. Get excited, you're
now going to transported you back to the days of my youth...
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katherine the great
katherine the great was a very historic person. she lived in russia
and did many historic things. she couldn't find a man who could satisfy
her so she had sex with animals. goats, bulls, elephants and horses
were among her favorites. she died while having wild passionate sex
with a horse. the horse fell down on her and crushed her.
the end
alexander the great
alexander the great was an army guy who ran greece in the olden days,
when people rode horses. he liked guys more than girls, especially
little boys. he had a wife, but he didn't love her as much as his other
lovers. he nearly ruled the world because of how good he was in bed...
the end
stalin
stalin made russia full of pinkos. my daddy tells me that, he doesn't
like communists much. i couldn't find sex in books about him.
the end
ronald reagan
reagan made reganomics. he was president for eight years. he was an
actor before he was a president. he's so old he doesn't remember having
sex.
the end
george washington
he told everyone that he chopped down a cherry tree. he was the first
president of the united states. he had wooden teeth. he had long white hair
and a pony tail. he is on the dollar and the quarter. no one had sex
when he was president, because it wasn't allowed.
the end
liberache
he had sex all the time, with men. his boyfriend looked like a ken
doll. he played the piano alot, but not as much as he had sex.
the end
julius caesar
oh boy did he have sex! sex was his life (besides conquering most of
western civilization). he had sex with whoever or whatever he could get
his hands on! he should have died of a heart attack while having sex,
that's how much sex he had. he never had time to get horny, because he
was always having SEX. I look up to him, he is my idol.
the end
jimmy carter
he was president in the disco era. disco fever swept the nation. saturday
night fever had sexy dances and sexy people. jimmy carter wasn't in
saturday night fever, but i bet he has seen it.
the end
thomas edison
thomas edison was a great inventor. he invented things like the
light bulb, record, and french tickler. he was a prude, because he was
always in his lab making things for other people to have sex with... he
wasn't much fun. though he did have a special room in the back where he
took his 'bad' employees...
the end
martin van buren
martin van buren was the 8th president of the united states. he did
presidential things. he had sex with his secretary. they had sex all
of the time. on the rugs, on the desk, everywhere. he was known as the
sex president to his friends and family.
the end
leonard nemoy
leonard nemoy was a great actor from the tv show star trek. he had
pointy ears and was called a vulcan. he was smart, and never felt
emotions. he never had sex because he didn't have feelings. but i bet
the crew thought he was sexy in his sexy felt cloth clothing. after
star trek, he has done tv shows about the unknown and tours the great
community colleges across the country. i bet he had sex with those sexy
college girls wearing sexy sweaters.
the end
emily dickinson
emily dickinson never had sex. she just wrote poems all day like a
pansy does. she sat up in her room with her genitals just wasting away
while she could have been having sex all day. girls can get sex
whenever they want it, but she never wanted it. my brother thinks that
she's just a cold bitch because she never put out.
the end
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Copyright (c) 1995 HoE Publications and Pip the Angry Youth. #86 -> 06/16/95
All rights Reserved. This file is for educational purposes only.
