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The Hogs of Entropy 0080
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dOOOH `@@@H dOOO@@@@@@ @@Ob d@OOOO@@@@@@@ @@@OO@@b
d@OO' O@H dOOOOOOO@@@@ @@Ob dOOOdOOOOOOOOOOOO@@@H
d@@OO dOOH HOOOOOOOOO@@@@ @@OH dOOOHslave
d@@@Oo ldOO@H dOOOOOOOOOOO@@@@@Ob d@OOH d@@@b
zzzzz zddOO@@b dOOOOOOOOOOOO@@Ob d@@@OdOOOOOOOOOOdOOO@@H
dldOO@@@b dOOOOOOOOOO@OOb d@@OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO@H
zzzzzzz dOOOOOOOOOOOb d@@@OOOOOOOOOOOOO@@@@b
dOOOOOOOOOd zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
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\-[ pH0Q yEAH! aNZi pH0REVER@!@! tHe h0gZ oF eNtR0pY! HoE-Date #4 ]-/
y0z!@!@ wElk0Me teW d3 h0eDAtE aND sH1t. aWWW YEAH! b4 y0U l0ZeRz SaY
"KrAP! m0GeL wUz sT00piT eN0UgH t0 mAKe tHE wh0LE h0E dAYtE iN k-RAD tYPE!@1"
y0U aRe Wr0Ng, dUMBaZs. ThIZ iZ jUZt mY iNtr0 sT00pIT. AnYwAY, LiKE cHeCK
oUt d1Z sH1t. EyE l00kEd aT h0E ph0R a WhiLE aNd apHTeR maNy sUGGEsTi0Nz 0N
#ansi EyE dEcIdEd iT wAz ab0UT tYme h0E HaD AnZi rEvIeWz lIkE aLL tHE 0THeR
MaGz iN tHErE!@!@!1 aREn'T eYE eLiTE aND a p00kA!@!@ [Harvey was a pooka].
pHUK. LeT'Z jUzT sKiP aLl dE b0RIN' mUtHApHuCkIn St00pit aSS sHeeeAT
aND sKip rIgHt to tHe mUTHApHucKiN aNzI rEViEWZZ!@! HeLL yEAH!#@!#!@ EyE
g0Tz a MuTHApHuCKiN' G1RLeE tEw SkREW:
____________________________________________________________________________
| Release | Rating | Review (da part no one reads) |
|________________|________|__________________________________________________|
| ACiD - 4/95 | 8 | HeLL YEAH!@#! RaDMAN aND s0MMz aRe gAWDZ!@!#!@ |
| iCE - 4/95 | 6 | EyE eXpECTuD m0rE iMaGe c0MiX cHarACTeRZ!@#@!#1 |
| UNi0N - 4/95 | 3 | y0U gUYz bl0W!@! sTiCK t0 sHiTTy vEEgEEaYE!^%&$ |
| PeZ - 6/97 | 10 | aWW YEAH! ThIz pRemiRe pAK iMpREzZed me!@!@!1% |
| CiA - 4/95 | 8 | b00-Yah! y0u gUyz MaKE g00d pHaG LiT!@!!@@!#21 |
| CdC - 4/95 | 9 | EyE nEVuH tH0GHt 58 pIX oF KATZ w00d eXCiTE mE! |
| SPAZTiK - 1/94 | 8 | dAt ANZi iZ s0 g00D EyE'M 3 m0NtHz bEE-HiNd. |
| D00DL3Z - 4/95 | 10 | pHuCK YEAH! YoU dR4w d3 BeZt KaLViNz aND sPaWnZ |
| ASiA - 4/95 | -56 | ASSKEY?! GET OUT 0V HERE LAMERZ!@#!@##@#!#12!@ |
|________________|________|__________________________________________________|
Sh1T. EyE g0TTa pUt h0E iN a k0dE!@!@ pHuCK wHaTEvAh' eYe sA1d ab0ut
L0vING tEe-pHYLEz aND iNph0Mat10n. k0dE mE LiKE a mUtHapHuCKa aLL NyGHT
L0NG!!@!@!1
______________________________________________________________________________
Uhhh...No.
_____________________________________________________________________________
____ ______
____| |________| |
| | | | | |____
| | | | | | | |
/~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ | | | | | | ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\
| |~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ | | | | | | ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~| |
| | | |____| | |___________| | |
| | |____| |________|fO | |
| | | |
| | HoE-Date #4 | |
| | "We're too stupid and stubborn to quit." | |
| | | |
| | Table of Contents | |
| | ----------------- | |
| | | |
| | [01] The Intergalactic Mogel Phear | |
| | [02] The Latest Hype | |
| | [03] Overheard | |
| | [04] Anarky at Work! | |
| | [05] Hoetry Poetry | |
| | [06] A Hopefully Final Look at Godd(+d) | |
| | [07] The HoE-Index | |
| | [08] Interview with Swamp Ratte' | |
| | [09] Interview with Lobo | |
| | [10] Goat Blowers Anonymous Plug | |
| |
| |____________________________________________________________________| |
\________________________________________________________________________/
=------------=-----------------------=------------------------=---------------=
| |
| ...The Intergalactic Mogel Phear... |
| |
|=------------=-----------------------=------------------------=--------------=
Y0wza, Y0wZa, Y0WZA!@!1 Man oh Man, I feel smiley, I feel giddy. Yes,
I am in FULL CONTROL of my bladder, contrary to popular belief. It seems I
talk about the bathroom too much. Go figure.
I am phear incarnate. Yes, I am pheared. Everyone phrears me. The MOGEL
is everywhere and everyone phears the wrath of m0g, because I am the carnal
representation of all that you want and need. EYE EM EVERY DREAM AND DESIRE
THAT YOUR FEEBLE MIND COULD POSSIBLY CONCEIVE OF YOU PANSY. I *FEEL* my
powers! Don't you feel them to?! DON'T YOU!? My ELiTEnESS SHiNEZ! I take
a stroll down the street and I laugh. HA. HA. I laugh at the people. They
watch me walk. They see the skip in my step everywhere I go and they *PHEAR*
me. They know I'm the most POWERFUL fuckin' thing they have ever seen in
their sheep-like thoughtless lives and they gape in awe.
They all phear me. They all know what HoE is. They all know that there's
no stopping the snowball affect that HoE is becoming. HoE will consume them
all. The entire Internet sighs when I turn my computer off. They all forget
to turn their capture files off and record 20 megs of garbage when I'm
around.
AT&T? FEDZ?! HAH! They know that I'm a ph0rce to be reckoned with. They
know not only what I do, but they know what they don't know what I do. And
you know what? They TREMBLE. They QUAKE. AT&T knows my power and
capabilities. They know that I have a m0dified bl0tto box in 38 stategic
locations around the globe. They phear me, as they should.
As the phear follows you like a shadow there will always be a few morons
out there that don't PHEAR me. Those select few will be tossed away in their
pit of denial one day in the future. You certainly are allowed to snicker
and laugh and their fate. They are pathetic. Side with HoE and you too will
know what it's like to touch ELiTENESS. Now, on to the gNuZ:
There's a now an Official Un-Official Usenet Newsgroup for posting about
HoE. We at HoE have decided to abduct the group 'alt.masturbation.mental' as
ours. There's no stopping us now. If your server doesn't get this group
then fuckin' write your SysAdmin today and say "What the hell?! I WANT MY
HOES! GIMME THAT GNUZGR0UP!" They will know what to do, because they phear
me.
I'm happy with the direction of HoE. We seem to get better and better
with each release. Things are happening and we're building stepping stones
and a foundation for one of the best 'zines to truly DESERVE an eternal
archive. I often remind people just what this premise means, and just how
far it goes. They forget, because they are instilled with phear, but I
remind them, that a widely distributed t-file will never die. It's the
ultimate form of communication in todays modern times. Think about how many
minds you have the potential to touch. Think about what it all means, and
that you can put out something for someone in some future time to be
inspired. Or to think about. You can affect people from the comfort of your
computer. It's almost scary.
Life here in my college is looking good and bad all the time. I guess I
was born to have ups and downs forever. I wonder about the WaReZ dEwDz and
the assorted like that become 'M0dEm WaRRi0RZ'. Is all the effort I have
expended in the past worth it? I think it's time to just ignore, chuckle,
and move on. Random humor will always have it's place, but in the end does
any of this matter? When you add it up, you'll eventually see that the only
thing that matters is if you were real or not. If you made a difference or
not. [Note: Frannie - read this paragraph again.]
What do I plan for HoE? A lot. I had mentally tortured and pained myself
for quite some time now. I had considered killing HoE many times, mostly
because I realized that HoE was formerly nothing more than a bad cDc/BLaH
rip off. I think we've finally gotten to a point where HoE is getting it's
own identity. We aim to be one of the best Telecom groups of all time.
We plan to do whatever cDc forgot to do and then some. We plan to have a
real freedom of Publication and be a much less exclusive Telecom groups, as
it seems many of the greater ones out there have become too much of.
Do you like what you are seeing from HoE? If so, please *do* give us
feedback. We love communication. You can contact me at mpg4681@rit.edu or
mogel@phantom.com. Or call Goat Blowers Anonymous, the Home BBS for HoE.
(215) 750-0392. Currently you can ftp HoE from:
ftp.fc.net /pub/deadkat/hacking/HOE
etext.archive.umich.edu /pub/Zines/HoE
As you can see, this HoE-Date is enormous - we packed a hell of a lot in
this sucker. It shocked me when I finally finished editing it how big it
really was. It's full of things that have been sitting in my hard drive for
quite a while.
Finally, I say this every single HoE-Date and it's getting annoying, so
I'm gonna stop saying it for a while. Know that t-file submissions are
totally open. Just send interesting, well written files my way with the
subject: 'EYE PHEAR M0G3L!' and you'll r0ckin' the HoE beat. Black Francis
actually taught his little sister that can hardly talk to say 'EyE PHeAR
m0G3l!' - and I'm told she says it constantly, interrupting conversations at
the dinner table to scream it. If that's not a coming of a new age, I don't
know what is. Join the dance of HoE. It's a sweet little jig.
- Mogel [HoE Bastard]
mpg4681@rit.edu
=------------=-----------------------=------------------------=---------------=
| |
| ...The Latest Hype... |
| |
|=------------=-----------------------=------------------------=--------------=
61) "True Stories from Pathological Liars" by Alex Swain. Straight from his
own 'zine, _Whatever Ramblings_, Swainy brings to us many glimpses of
life. Pass the Salt.
62) "My Application to [NAME OF COLLEGE HERE]" by Thanatos. HoE brings you a
helping hand. Hey - it's NOT a commentary - it's an essay with an edge.
63) "Everything Inbetween" by IM2K4U2C. Nonsensical Babble that has no point
or direction. Naturally, it's a HoE.
64) "Take a Wiz, Make me Jiz" by Mogel. SPANK ME, SPANK ME, MAKE ME BLEED.
Ralph was a bad boy. I wanna be a good boy. Listen to the people pee.
65) "My BA in Attitude" by DisordeR. Is college a farce? The moral is to
stay home and do nothing or DisordeR will beat you up and take your
lunch money.
66) "Life and the IRC Log" by Dash. The classic editorial on why we should
all ram a spike through out butts when we touch our computers.
67) "So This is How it Ends for Us?" by Abigwar. Nazi guys aren't a party.
68) "About Nothin'" by Spiff. A pathetic attempt to twist logic and trick
you into thinking there's no Random. Spiff phears me.
69) "Why Information Must be Free" by Mr. Sandman. Don't sit and take it!
Talk back to those self-righteous commie nazi tree-hugger phag jh00z.
70) "The Massive ELiTE! Interview" by Mogel. Everyone l0vs Mogel. This is
my b1g Project where I interview a lot of guys that run 'zines. Go me.
71) "Biff Redneck Goes to the Big City" by Sed. There's only three guarantees
in life - Taxes, Misery, and Rednecks!@#!@!!1
72) "There's Pain in There" by Mogel. Three horny kids yell at each other
in hopes to get a threesome going. Instead they just learn something
about life. Some people are just unlucky.
73) "Ripping and Screaming Your Way to a Better You" by KidKnee. Emotional
angst can be a fuel to becoming a more manly man. You'll get all the
chicks! Think about the implications!
74) "The Great CyberSpace Coaster Chat Board Caper" by IM2K4U2C. Some people
have way too much free time.
75) "Cockroach Assault" by Alex Seigel. A tale of love, death, sex, and
confusion. Or not.
76) "Home and Garden" by M0rpheus. A throughly random tale with more wit
that a mere mortal can gather up.
77) "The Other Side of the Mirror" by Black Sunshine. Mommy didn't love
Charlie. MOMMIE WAS A BAD MOMMIE. MOMMIE IS GOING TO DIE WITH ME.
78) "The Oedipus Complex in Modern Day Terms." by James Hetfield. Formerly
titled 'My Huge Pulsating Cock', Jamesy h00kZ us guys up with sex tawk.
79) "Behind the Mask" by The Stranger. A disturbing story based on the life
of John Wayne Casey - Clown Killer.
80) "Hoe-Date #4" by Mogel. This file, st00pit. This this is huge! 114k!
yAAAA-rEEbA! Packed with the secrets of the universe and then some.
Check out the Ansi Reviews.
=------------=-----------------------=------------------------=---------------=
| |
| ...Overheard... |
| Real Messages from Real People. |
| The Section that makes you question the concept of 'communication'. |
| |
|=------------=-----------------------=------------------------=--------------=
*%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*
From: mpg4681@rit.edu (Mogel)
To: All
Subj: EYE KLAIM THiZ gNuZgr0uP!@!#@!
Stat: Posted on 'alt.masturbation.mental'
Hello. I'm Mogel. I'm writing this message to hereby claim this newsgroup.
So there.
Ah, these Internet Alt.config people think they are just *SO* bright with
their biased rules and stupid policies. Well, I'm gonna show them that I get
what I want. And I just friggin' take it. Nobody stands in Mogel's way.
Nobody beast Midas. Nobody.
This newsgroup is now the sole posting-ground for the 'zine that I run.
Yes, it's my 'zine, and it's called HoE. h0gZ of eNtr0py. The 'zines focus
is on Computer Culture and good writing or t-files (text files). That's just
about as far ans the row boat rows.
Huh? Exactly.
Some people think I'm crazy, other say I'm just bonkers. I think I'm
pretty normal. Or maybe not.
Getting back on topic, this Newsgroup that is alt.masturbation.mental,
is now the soul discussion base for the 'zine HoE, all of it's writers, all
of the Distribution SysOps, and all of the fans. You're welcome to check in
with a post. You're welcome to post on any topic whatsoever, however, it
would be ideal if it was about HoE. After all, HoE is the future.
Why did I choose this newsgroup to abduct as the h0e newsgroup? Well,
basically the people at alt.config wouldn't make a alt.zines.hoe....or an
alt.fan.hoe... Goddamnit, cDc gets a newsgroup. We should too. I think.
Well, uhhm... maybe I have a little too much free time.
That doesn't matter. I chose THIS group because the topic was silly
and sort of anti-related to prostitution (ie: hoe). Also, I had subscribed
to this group for over a month and there hasn't been a single post on here.
That's just not fair. For you people that were actually subscribed to this
group, before I took it over, I greatly apologize. These things happen.
But wait, before you reply and complain to me - think about this! There is
a new freedom opening up with this abduction (uhmm..yeah)! Can't you taste
the feeling? Here it is; a dead-newsgroup base and a live-non-existent
newsgroup base. The ironies are many. Can we let this go on!? NO! We as
loved of the true freedom of the internet must stomp out the intolerance of
the alt.config people. We will show them with your help. By supporting this
base you are supporting freedom for all humanity.
I like hyerbole.
At any rate, ask away your questions. I'll tell you the answers.
m0g3l
[h0e s3ni0r ed33t0r!@!]
mpg4681@rit.edu
*%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*
From: an225108@anon.penet.fi.
To: IM2K4U2C [ELiTE Address Withheld]
Subj: Hogs of Entropy #63
Stat: Private
Hello Person with the Unpronounceable Nick,
I'm writing you to voice my opinion on your publishing of the article
'Everything Inbetween'.
I found this supposed 'publication' from a Mongle fellow that decided to just
jumped into #bible in IRC and Forced a Mass-DCC to the entire channel with
some Issues of this repugnant group HOE.
I carefully read through many interesting articles. The entire zip file was,
on the whole, a very poor magazine. What fears me the most is that this sort
of garbage is widely distributed on places like the Internet and the Computer
World. There was a few pieces of well written ideas in the files, however
they were polluted with such disgusting literature. Do you actually have
people that enjoy reading about a man masturbating or anti-education
messages??? I believe college to be, in it's premise, a most important
institution. The ideas presented in these HOE files were totally
contradictory to everything that our Country values and holds fundamentally
important.
I would have written Mongle on the topic, but I didn't for two reasons.
Firstly, I was annoyed that I was forced to DCC something I didn't want in
the first place. I tried to ask him what the file was, but he had left IRC
and I couldn't ask. So I read the files. After a few days, I found him on
#punk and began to tell him what I thought of his files, and asking him
questions about how widely this was distributed. I told him that your file,
entitled 'everything inbetween' was the grossest thing I had ever read. He
began to act extremely rude and patronizing to me. I didn't care for it one
bit. After telling him that I'd like e-mail addresses to all the writers of
the publication he said "here's im2k4u2c's address. He knows what to do with
mind-f*cked people like you." As you can see, he was very rude to me.
So, now I have your address and I am voicing my complaint. The ideas that
are presented in your file are totally erroreous, confused, and (in my
blatant opinion) evil. You tried to compare the Christian Church the Nazi
Political Party! The "positive" messages that I might have agreed with in
the file were very weakly presented. It feels like it was a bad attempt and
making an Essay and a Poem at the same time.
I'm hoping that I can help put a stop to horrible writing such as this with
this letter. When I see any of these "HOE writers" on IRC again, I will
attempt to get more information on the group and try to show you the error
in your logic. The files, HOE, I believe are completely contradictory to any
sort of progress that this country might hope to accomplish. I truly fear
that these files are getting Distributed on a National scale.
- Laurence Carney
*%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*
From: Neurokiller
To: Mogel
Subj: Fucking Faggot!!
Stat: Private
Hey DeathKnight, you faggot. I caught up with you and now you're going
to pay. Thought you could hide from me, huh?! You and your lame 410 group
HoE! I have no idea why you changed your handle to such a gay one but I
don't care.
You and your lame Ansi group, Hearts of Evil, are going down! I wouldn't
release another ansi pack ever again, or you'll be fucked up so bad you won't
even remember what your name is!!!!
- |\|euRo ]<iLLeR
*%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*
From: pali151@netcom.com (Bubba Therion)
To: All
Subj: Daily Morning Dweefle
Stat: Posted on 'alt.religion.wombat'
It has been found in recent archaeological examination of what is
believed to be an ancient Wombatittian/Nonsequitorian Temple Burrow that
some of the Children of the Wombat were engaging in daily prayers (which
they refer to in the old texts as "the old dweefle and grovel), rigid
medastication (the practice of letting your mind wander aimlessly whilst
chewing on tough roots), and other "rituals". The term is used loosely
here; most Wombatittian rituals seem to consist of little more than
drinking large quantities of tequila, dressing in plastic wrap, and
rolling about on the floor until nausea and vomiting ensue.
However, one of the important "grovel and dweefles" has now been
translated by the Institute for Sacred Burrowing Marsupials, and is
presented here for the first time.
MORNING GROVEL AND DWEEFLE
as Requested by Thwack
Oh Wombat, oh Wombat, oh Wombat
Thrice naked are your words,
Yet your word is one word,
and that's not even really a word,
but more of a sound effect.
Oh Batty Batty Batty Wom
I grovel and dweefle in awe of your might
Thou who canst cheweth up my lawn from beneath
Thou who maketh the holes wherein I will sprain my ankle
if I looketh not where I am going.
Saveth me from the dingos that I hath seen
In the periphery of mine eye
after eating those little blue mushrooms.
Who is like unto the Wombat?
None, for who would want to be?
Nay, I say, nay
Like a horse, I sayeth nay
Over and over and over
It becometh annoying, and I shall cease
I promise thee.
Soon.
I shun the lemming, and the aye-aye, and the stoat,
I stay away from marmosets, meerkats, and cuttlefish
I bringeth not home llamas, nor giant Chinese newts,
So diggeth not up my garden,
nor gnaw at the foundation of my house,
lest thou gettest thy head cut off,
for I have gone unto the land of True Value
and hath purchased many a trap well-bladed.
Nonetheless, I am of the Wombat
and thus I dweefle and grovel
Mainly because there's nothing on TV
and USENET is bloody boring today.
Amen.
*%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*
From: Piston
To : Black Francis
Subj: New User Application
Stat: Private
Sorry about me hanging up once, you can expect me to U/L alot,
I have ALOT of file's, TOn's of H/p/a and a UNBELIEVAble amount of warez.
If you are WARez can i PLEASE have the access. i only carry NEW warez.
WIndows' 95
OS2/WARP
TONS OF CDROM RIPS!!!!!!!
AND TONS OF GAMES!!!!!
THAnk's
<-PiStOn->
*%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*
From: Zippy
To : Black Francis
Subj: fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckf
Stat: Private
Disconnected in what was gonna be a brilliant validation letter.
So here it is. You be the judge.
Well, good gawd. Today marks a strange rite of passage for me. Tonight, I
finally call the bbs m0gel has been bugging me to call, and yet tomorrow, I
lose my computer. Strange coinkidink, don'tcha think? It's weird, man. But,
once YOU have fucked up as often as _I_ have, you would understand the misery
that Slackful living at others' expense can bring when that compensation
comes to an end. Not worth a fuck is how I feel. Hello anti-depressants.
I read a story in the local paper here the other day about a 37 year old man
who literally used broken glass and gnawing to cut off his own hand because
he believed it was possessed by demons. I feel somewhat empathetic with
that dude. I've been there, man. Hello anti-depressants.
So, here I am. It really doesn't matter if I get access or not, because
chances are, it will be a damned good while before I can call, due to the
fact that I will be computer-free. Computer-free after years of owning one
and doing this geeking thing. After having run such BBSes as The Starchy
White Boy BBS in Lubbock, and Club Baby Seal in Dallas and Lubbock. I even
managed to switch softwares several times in that period. Ran Renegade 1st
and most latest, my own hard-payed-for version of PCBoard. Big whooop. Hello
Anti-depressants.
Files? Bleh. Messages? I just say 'yes.' Of course, it doesn't matter, as
I've explained before. I guess I could borrow a friends computer though.
Hello anti-depressants.
So, I dunno what else to say. Maybe this WAS NOT the bestest validation
letter. I suspect it is better than most. People suck. Users suck. Kill them
while you can.
Hello anti-depressants.
And tell the m0gel-man howdy for me.
Yow!
*%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*
From: Edicius
To : All
Subj: heh.
Stat: Posted on GBA
i think this is funny. i'm not sure if this is the base for it, but ah well.
its 5:35am right now. i just had like 4 hours sleep. and i cant get back
to sleep. so i'll be up for awhile. anyway.
i released my latest issue of jonas, oh. around 10:30 or so. (jonas 4, get
it). i go on irc, and suprisingly (for a friday night) there were very few
people on #ansi. maybe like 12 or so.
i xdcc offer jonas 4, and then someone asked me where i got the name from,
so i told them; the weezer song called 'my name is jonas'. :). 'jobu' then
preceded to call me a weezer freak, that weezer sucked, and 'jonas' was the
lamest name for a mag. so i just said:
<edi> its lame because the mag's lame, thats the point.
<jobu> thats so lame, why put out a lame mag on purpose?
<edi> i donno. cause i was bored? to mock the scene? to make fun of you
people that take it too serious? ... blah blah. some omited..
<jobu> thats so gay. the mag's so pathetic.
<edi> i know, thats the point. but people actually like it, so i dont care
and he started to keep up this argument; 'but its gay', 'um, i know that,
thats the point', etc.
its funny. the exact thing i figured would happen (people just not getting
the point of my mag) has happened. tada, i've achieved my goal (making a
lame mag), and i've still shown how people take it too serious, and wouldn't
release the purpose. sigh. get my mag now, whenever frannie validates it.
edicius <cia>
*%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*
From: Cyberelf
To : Mogel
Subj: lok at this ,
Stat: Private
Hhey mogel ,heres somethin odd i found! You cAn make it an iSsue off hoe if
youd like. This is a copy of an actual alert to to IBm field engineers.
(except typos of course)
Mouse balls Availble as FRU (Field Replacement unit) mouse balls are now
available. Therefore if the mouse fails to operate or should it perform
erraticly it may need a ball replacement. Because of the delicate nature
of this procedure, replacement of mouse balls should only be attempted by
properly trained personal. Before preceeding, determine the type of mouse
balls by examing the underside of the mouse. Domestic balls will Be Larger
and harder then foreign balls. Ball removal procedures differ depending
upon the manufactuer of the mouse. Foreign Balls can be replaced using the
Pop-off method. Domestic Balls can be replaced using the twist off method.
Mouse balls are not usually static sensitive but exsessive handiling can
result in a sudden Discharge. Upon compeletion of ball replacement, the
mouse may be used immediatly. It is recommended that each replacer have a
spare pair of replacement balls for maintaining optimum customer
Satisfaction, and that any customer Missing His Balls Should Suspect local
Personel of removing these nescessary items. To reorder specify one of the
following:
P/M 33FS462 - Domestic Mouse Balls
P/M 33FS461 - Foreign Mouse Balls
(editorial Note - IBm are some sick people, Selling mouse balls even, geez
poor mice everywhere, My sympathy to them all)
*%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*
From: Neko
To : Super Squirrel
Subj: Re: "All You Liars"
Stat: Posted on GBA
SS> that would be cool if everyone in the world yelled "fuck" at the same
SS> time.
"Welcome to Fuckfest '95."
Dan Rather: Tonight on the Evening news. More news on the OJ Simpson murder
trial. (is handed piece of paper) .. what's this? In five minutes everyone in
the world will say (turns away from mic) can we say that on the air?
Voice: We'll beep it out.
Dan Rather: In five minutes, everyone around the world will say Fuck. And now
with live footage, formerly with MTV News, Kurt Loder
Kurt Loder: Thank you Dan, it's good to know NBC gives boring people like us
jobs nowadays.
Dan Rather: Uhh, right, Kurt.
Kurt Loder: Well, Fuckfest '95 as the organizer Super Squirrel has dubbed it
i about to start. Basically, it consists of everyone in the world yelling
fuck at the same time. So, viewers at home, when the ball drops, yell fuck!
Dan Rather: Very Dick Clark-esque, Kurt.
Kurt Loder: Right. And my fuck will go out to the assholes on MTV who got me
fired. Do you believe it? They called me boring
<shot fades to Dan Rather at the news desk being shaken awake>
Dan Rather: Huh? Oh, yeah, sure.
Kurt Loder: Well, the balls about to drop....let's see what happens
Masses: Five......Four......Three....Two...One...
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFF UU UU CCCCCCCCCCCCCC K K !!!
FF UU UU CC K K !!!
FF UU UU CC K K !!!
FF UU UU CC K K !!!
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFF UU UU CC KK !!!
FF UU UU CC K K !!!
FF UU UU CC K K
FF UU UU CC K K !!!
FF UUUUUUUUUUU CCCCCCCCCCCCCC K K !!!
...EPILOGUE:
The world collapses and only cool eleet modem gods are left. The entire staff
of cDc declares total world domination in the name of cDc. uXu and the
editors of CuD argue over this until the three factions declare a mutual
dictatorship.
Isn't life grand?
*%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*
From: Dead Cheese
To : m0g n0g fr0g d0g (Mogel)
Subj: Phat ploobers!!!
Stat: Compiled from many posts on GBA
Achtung, mein rot apfel!! I am chicken, but where's my fat monday? Huh?
HUH?!!? WHERE THE FUCK IS IT?! I don't see any thimbles, but I'm sure
you've got some underwear in your mouth! Give it here! Gimme some lovin'!!
I sure do like my rubber wallaby. He's so nice to me when I ruffle his
toodly-woodly, pupply-dupply num-nums. Aw, shut up. I don't care if the God
damned tortoise says I'm a large, rotten poop because my armpits lick the
world of flesh, anyway.
Have you tasted the sweet worm of dilly-doo? I've got a nugget that was
switched for pumpkins, but you don't see me dancing the flab. In fact, I
don't think your chicken love is so great 'pon the idle of Socks! You suck
the rime of steel, yet you've sat upon the wild chub?! THOU ART A PLUM!!
Taste the shavings of the infamous apple jamboree, foul squirt! I may be
a snorting matumbo, but at least *I'VE* never fished in the nostrils of the
queen! Should you choose to fall for the jumpy dwarf, you surely will become
a shooting wombat. Ever thing about that!? HUH?! DID YOU?!?! I BET YOU
NEVER LICKED THE BACK OF CHUMPY GALOSHES!!!! Neither have I, but I didn't
stump the sod. In conclusion, eat gumbo menagerie.
I spew no lobster vomit, my voluptuous bean. Of course, I see the
soldiers, but I share *NO* maple syrup! Should you evade the fabric, you
shall surely feel the flab of entire *NATIONS* of jamboree llamas! I jab the
elbows of poodles, yet I never sink to the pudding. How is that so, you ask?
I don't know. *BUT*, I do know that the shoes of deception are upon us and
we must dance 'pon their tiny cattle tumors. You are a jim-dandy bubble if
you think the Jumpin' Jehosiphats will leave us be to our own contentions of
misaligned coffee.
How dare you fly in the face of several large aardvarks?! You are not a
heinous monkey of chowder! You will never lick the chicken of repression!
You will never mold me, for I am the Jell-O that withstands your fruity
flavors. I am not a rubber rutabaga that can be flexed towards the
waterfalls of your insanity.
Your idea is absurd. Here is the idea that YOU must understand:
I AM *NOT* A PIECE OF CHICKEN.
Do you not know this tender vittle? Are you so dense that you must be
bonked by the jumbo coconuts to fathom the shallow depth of this voluptuous
poultry? You make me moderately ill.
..Dead Cheese..
Just because it's late doesn't mean it's any less insane...
*%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*
From: m0g n0g fr0g d0g
To : Dead Cheese
Subj: Re: Phat ploobers!!!
Stat: Compiled from many posts on GBA
How dare you insult the high order of tobacco smoking Cheetah King
Wannabes. I am part of the Ultimate kingdom of Toaster Hackers and I demand
respect. MOCK ME, WILL THOUHT!? fi fi fi fo fum so says me. You think
you're juuuuuuusssstttt soooo cool with your foul smelling handle, but fear
not, possessor of all that is not appetizing, because i am also one that can
talk the talk and walk the walk of the random random kibble that is the
world and the way (just the way) that *THEY* want it. You do know that
*THEY* (emphasis shown by the *'s) Control us don't you!? Every last one of
them. We can ban together with the might of a thousand looney turnipian
Wombat Soldiers and pkunspam them.
Hah! You are a stumpy, flabby, silly over-hormonal SWINE. Wait.
That's me. YOU ARE A tall, *GANGLY*, super elliptical Mushroom Foot!@! You
talk like a turtle..but don't SPEAK TOO FAST!@! Or then you whist feel the
brunt of the lizard cum. Spit. Ouch. I WANNA BE STRANGLED BABY. I WANNA
BE A LOVER OF THE TOTAL STEROPHONIX OF WHAT WE CALL CH0AS SO LONG ME AND RIDE
ME STRAGLE CHICKEN HAWK. There. Now you understand the glee of the ancients.
And such callous carvings of lobster vomit you spew. Don't you now see
the obvious light of the armpit soldiers coming in NEAR!? You dare speak of
Galoshes, but as I not only avaid the *LICK*, I also avaid the very fabric of
TOUNGE that hold the fabric of what you, me, and the entire blue-marble world
of coconuts we live in amasses to. You *STILL* don't get it?! Well, then
let me re-phrase it in a way that yer mono-visual eardrums will dip their
auditory fats into: YOU BLOW THE GOATS OF A NATION. Got that?! YOU FUCKIN'
GOT THAT?! I CAN'T HERE YOU!! I CAN'T FUCKING HERE YOU! Oh, wait. You
can't talk over the modem. All the same, you understand now more than ever
before the premise of the Barn Yard, and while there's a Cow there's a way.
GOAT, PIG, or COW - YOU DO THEM ALL AND LIKE IT OR ELSE PANSEY BOY!!
And I see that you you do partially see my point about the temporal
toothpaste, eh? Well, soon I will mold you. I will mold you like oh so much
over-chewed gum left out in the sun with raisins. I will mold you like a
fresh carrot plucked from a Baby's dookie-infested ass. And LICKED. Yes,
you smell the smell of the llama as do I and as do ALL THAT IS HERE... We all
smell the smell of a thousand roasted radishes. But there is still one
idea... there is still ONE sacred transcendental misfiticial force that you
don't get. It's oh-so obvious... get this message and get it clear:
THE FORESTS PISS BLUE SEVERED HAMSTER HEADS.
Now you understand the truth.
-m0g-
*%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*
From: Doh!
To : Grandmaster Mogel
Subj: Re: y3r iN d3 m0dEm MaFia?!@$@#$
Stat: Posted on GBA
It all started as a joke. My ex-girlfriend went to her junior prom with a
kid who was on the pit called Speedracer, while I was going out with her.
(She said she'd go with him before I started dating her). I didn't mind, I
knew nothing was going on between them. Just to have a little fun I logged
on the Pit and post a message that said something to the effect of "I'm a
friend of Doh!'s and I saw you trying to put the moves on his woman. Put
twenty bucks in my locker and I'll forget the whole thing. If not I tell him
what I saw and watch him kick your ass, he's a really big guy with a bad
temper" And so "The Modem Mafia" was born. It was named later on by
Nightstalker and taken over by Beann very shortly afterwards. Speedracer
eventually figured out who we were but we had him shitting himself for
awhile. We really had no purpose but to annoy the shit out of everyone and
we almost succeeded. We were just a bunch of guys looking for something new
to do on our lunch break. I missed most of the whole Chal Mac-Beann war. I
didn't do much more than start the whole big thing. I had heard about that
shit that Chal wrote from Nightstalker. It cracked me up. What a waste of
time that was! I was told that that file is all over the state. I guess
we're like infamous or something. That's pretty much it. If I think of
anything else, you'll read about it eventually.
-Doh!,....TMM is dead
*%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*
From: Llamaman
To : All
Subj: Curious George Visits Ground Zero
Stat: Posted on High Times
Curious George was a curious little monkey. He was out one sunny day
with the man in the yellow hat. He said "Now George...we are going to a Top
Secret testing facility...and I don't want you to run away from me." George
thought "Boy...I will get to see all kinds of things at the test base!".
When they got up to the front gate a man with a sub-machine gun told them
to get out of the jeep. Then two other men all in green took the man in the
yellow hat and George to a little room where they were both strip searched.
George thought "The man in the yellow hat looks very different with no
clothes on!". Then after both George and the man were naked came the body
cavity search, George didn't like that at all, it hurt a lot! The man in the
yellow hat didn't seem to mind though, he smiled the whole time. While the
man in the yellow hat was dressing, George opened a vent door and slid in!
He crawled down the shaft for about two hundred yards before he saw an
opening. George looked through the grill and there was the Base Commander!
George was directly behind the General and could see all the folders marked
TOP SECRET all over them. George couldn't read of course, but he liked the
red stamp color anyway. George proceeded down the vent shaft.
When George came to a X intersection in the ductwork he listened very
carefully. Then he smelled something funny down to his left. So he went to
see what the funny smell was...George was very curious! He got to a big vent
opening where the duct ended, outside he could see all these men in white
suits with funny bag hoods all covered in those yellow fallout symbols. The
yellow radiation symbols made George think of the man in the yellow hat, the
MPs were probably interrogating him now for losing George inside a national
secret. All the men in the radiation suits were hovering over about two
dozen warheads spread out over lab tables across the room. George was
curious! A loud bell rang and all the men went out of the room to there
coffee break, so George wanted to take a warhead home with him! He opened
the vent and climbed down. He waked over to a table and took the warhead
down. It was very heavy! George didn't realize that he had taken a device
with no fail-safe on it. If the timer started, there would be no way to stop
it from going off.
So George stared off into another building. This one was marked very big
over the door. NO ENTRY FOR UNAUTHORIZED PERSONNEL But as I said before
George is only a monkey and cannot read. So he went on in. George was very
happy to see that he had discovered the mess hall, and there was nobody
watching all the food! So he went into the kitchen, George was curious! He
smelled bread baking, so he went over to the oven and pulled out the loaf of
bread that was in there and began to eat! Yummy! but George wanted to put
back something for the bakers...Of course! The warhead he was carrying!
George slipped into the oven and turned the oven to 850 degrees. Now George
didn't know what that meant, but 850 was the highest setting on the oven.
Just then a armed MP came around the corner. "There you are my little
friend!" He said, very loudly. "We've been looking all over for you! Come
on...let's get you back to your trainer before he gets shot for espionage!"
George didn't know what the MP meant. The MP took George to the Generals
office and sat him down. Then another man brought in the man with the yellow
hat! George was so happy to see him, the man had handcuffs on and a few
bruises on his face. "Christ...George...they really gave me the third
degree for losing you!" So George and the man with the yellow had got in
there jeep and headed home. They were very lucky though, because they were
more than 200 miles away from ground zero when that warhead that was in the
oven finally did go off!
So, we will see what kind of trouble George gets into in his next
adventure "Curious George Visits A Nazi Concentration Camp in 1941 Poland".
*%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*
From: feinstem@vax.sonoma.edu
To : All
Subj: Have some respect for Winona!
Stat: Posted on 'alt.fan.winona-ryder'
This was the first time I've checked out this newsgroup, and let me tell you
that I am sadly disappointed. I would think that Noni's "fans", as you claim
to be, would have enough RESPECT for her to discuss her as an actress. It is
so tacky for you to be talking about nude pictures of her, or whether she is
bisexual or not, or even who wants to marry her. Who cares?! Can you imagine
how she would feel if she read the stuff you people have been saying about
her? Have some class, folks.
I went to junior high and high school with Winona Ryder (her real name
is Winona Horowitz, and in those early days, she was known as Noni Horowitz)
in Petaluma, CA, and I must say that she is a VERY decent person and she does
not deserve a single bit of the treatment she is getting from you people. I
was not a close friend of hers, but I did have some classes with her, and she
was (and still is, for that matter) very intelligent. She didn't fit in all
that well with the "cliques" that our school had, and she tells stories in
interviews about how she got "canned" in junior high, but she was great to
have around there. She was insistent on making friends, and yes, she sure as
hell did make friends. And people at home have a lot of respect for her. But
we don't treat her like a superstar. She's still just Noni. And that's the
way she likes it. If you want to know what her real personality was like,
watch her in "Welcome Home, Roxy Carmichael." Her role in that film is
closest to her real self, at least how I knew it when we were that age
(junior high/high school). My whole point here is that Noni is a good person;
just look at all the work she did with the Polly Klaas kidnapping case (her
dedication to the cause helped put Petaluma on the map--too bad it took such
a tragedy to do so). She doesn't deserve the trash you are saying about her.
Even if she isn't reading this newsgroup, have some class and show some
respect for her.
Sincerely,
Melinda Feinstein (Petaluma, CA)
email: feinstem@vax.sonoma.edu
Sonoma State University
*%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*
From: obscure@phantom.com (Paul Leonard)
To : All
Subj: Our Master Plan
Stat: Posted on 'alt.fan.cult-dead-cow'
It is true that we are the most aged, yet vital e-media group in
existence. We are NOT satisfied with that alone, however. We truly and
realistically expect to obtain full world domination within our
lifetimes. This is not a boast, or a pipe dream either, we're fucking
serious man! If you want to survive the purge, it is advised that you
submit to our desire RIGHT NOW. Our desire is to have every one of you
going out into the world, virtual or not, who gives a fuck, and doing
cool shit. When you follow our desire, you will end up creating a self
you never believed you could possibly know. Do you know what? You'll be
free of the bullshit that keeps you locked into your pathetic lives. Do
you know who you can thank? You can thank US! You can show your
appreciation towards us by FIGHTING for the cause of cDc World
Domination. You will be free, happy, and maybe even wealthy because of
it. Because we have divine forces behind us you have to choose to be with
us, or you have to choose to be annihilated like a foul-mouthed cretin.
We ARE POWER! WE ARE THE LIGHT THAT SHINES ON THE CHOSEN. WE ARE THE HAND
THAT SMITES THE WICKED. WE ARE FREE!
obscure images
cDc Convulsion Crew
*%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*
From: sratte@phantom.com (Swamp Ratte)
To: All
Subject: Re: How do you join
Stat: Posted on 'alt.fan.cult-dead-cow'
One guy said this:
> I want to know if I'm taking you to seriously. If you guys are serious
> where do I sign?
> Keep the Peace,
> JAZZ
Then Omega said this:
> No one can volunteer for cDc. None of us signed up. We were all
> hanghai'd and then thoroughly brainwashed. Spread the disease.
You know The K-C0W PHORCE? A group of happily rabid sysops carrying cDc
files? No... SHOCK TROOPS.
Yeah, we're serious. About something or other. I was 15 when we started
this and I'm 24 now. And bored with rhetoric and that high-school "Rage
Against the Machine"-level histrionics, "fist in the air!" crap.
People's biggest enemies are themselves, and the best way to fight
that is to just DO SOMETHING. ie: get off yer lame ass.
cDc is serious about free speech. And uh... uh... the right to be
cool. That's just about everything, isn't it?
Self-preservation. Being creative & productive 'cause you want to be.
Spreading happiness & positivity through understood cynicism.
Bigness. Style. Free stuff. Knowing what's up.
Those are cDc ideals.
Realness. And if it ain't real, that's understood too... and therefore,
real.
We're out to be the best electronic media organization there is.
That means, in the future, we wanna put out music and video stuff
and distribute it the way we do our t-files. Like a freeware
Time/Warner.
cDc is DIY, but with LARGEOSITY.
S. Ratte'/cDc NASCAR Team
*%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*
From: sratte@phantom.com (Swamp Ratte)
To : All
Subj: Re: Our Master Plan
Stat: Posted on 'alt.fan.cult-dead-cow'
YES YES YES. Listen to Brother Oi. cDc's fight is a never-ending
WAR ON LAMENESS. And those who insist on being PART OF THE PROBLEM
will be subjugated to many many hours of urine-drinking and
butt-wiping during THE GREAT PURGE.
False prophets abound during these lame days! The SubGerks and
Dislexians try to sell you "slack." "It's cool to suck," they whimper,
as they sit and argue the finer points of Babylon 5 vs. Star Trek TNG,
effetely sipping a coffee-derived beverage.
Wrong! In the Great War on Lameness, all those on THAT side of
the bell curve will be TRAMPLED MERCILESSLY UNDER OUR CLOVEN HOOFS!
SLACK is WACK! cDc = ACTION PACKED!
S. Ratte'/cDc
"be K-RAD or be DEAD"
*%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*
From: obscure@mindvox.phantom.com (Paul Leonard)
To : All
Subj: Re: Fucking a Cow
Stat: Posted on 'alt.fan.cult-dead-cow'
Look - all of you subgenii & other assorted subgen wannabes might as well
just shut the fuck up right now. While we all know that the Church of the
SubGenius is a sick retarded joke for some sick retarded people, what
some of you don't seem to understand is that cDc is not a joke. We are
the most real fuckin' thing you will probably see in your lifetime. That
is, a lifetime that will most likely end abruptly in the first wave of
the coming purges. You all know about that weak shit in Japan, I assume.
Well, they're a bunch of powderpuffs compared to us. We're smart enough,
as well as sick enough to take over the world. Anyone who gets in our way
will be purged in the name of the greater good. So to all you worshippers
of false idols, and you self-important snickering finks in those so
called satiro-mystery cults I have a simple suggestion. Learn who is on
the winning side, and run with them. Your life may well prove to be
longer than it is currently slated to be. Hell, you may even like it.
Obscure Images
Director of Propaganda - PsyWar Division
cDc
*%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*
=------------=-----------------------=------------------------=---------------=
| |
| ...anarky at work!... |
| |
=------------=-----------------------=------------------------=---------------=
Here are some ways that you can be a kool anarkuzt and do anarky-type
stuff at work!
Find a morning when your boss will be coming into work earlier than usual.
Arrive fifteen minutes before he gets there and spread a sheet, blanket, and
pillow on his desk. Throw on a pajama top over your work clothes and one of
those old fashioned "Twas the Night Before Christmas" slumber hats. Curl up
under the blanket and pretend to be fast asleep. When he walks in and gasps
with suprise, pretend to wake up startled and embarrassed. Explain with
tears, on your knees that "It's not your fault, you were evicted six months
ago and and have nowhere else to stay." Try to keep a straight face.
Burst into your boss's office first thing in the morning with sincere
enthusiasm, claiming to have thought of the perfect new emblem for the
company/firm. Tell him how you were up all night designing this logo, and
how great you think it will represent the company on office stationary,
envelopes, and business cards. When he finally gives in and asks you to
show it to him, excitedly dig into your pocket and hand him a pre-drawn
sketch of a Nazi swastika. Try to keep a straight face.
Before quitting for the day, stick your head in your boss's office and
timidly ask him how to spell the word "capitalist". As he curiously answers,
write down the correct spelling in front of him. That night, break into his
office and write "CAPITALIST PIG!!" in pig's blood. The next morning act
suprised. Try to keep a straight face.
=------------=-----------------------=------------------------=---------------=
| |
| ...Hoetry Poetry... |
| The section that gives Black Francis a Headache. |
| Bad poetry from the sexually Frustrated. Lick it up, baby. Lick it up. |
| |
=------------=-----------------------=------------------------=---------------=
*%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*
-=[ SALEM ]=-
By KidKnee
with a tongue of ash and eyes of dust i scream His name.
and the words fall.
and my hope sink.
and my flesh burns.
tied to a stake with fire at my toes,
my family cries,
my sisters scream,
may GOD have mercy on us all.
black smoke engulfs my head and the world is dark,
He was once as i am,
hanging, bleeding waiting for death.
Jesus, how can you stand there and watch.
the pain swells and my brain bursts,
screaming death to the ears of God,
toes curl up an fall of first,
my naked body tears at my bonds.
my legs and calves begin to crackle,
the pain!
flame consumes me but will not release me.
still i hold on to consciousness as the painfire spreads
screaming, screaming, hoping to faint
hoping to die
hoping to end
screaming to die
screaming to end
screaming to myself
alone on a pyre
with a tongue of ash and eyes of glass i die in silence
and my soul blows away on a wind of death
alone
*%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*
-=[ Me ]=-
By, Half-Baked
Lost in the fear of troubled pain
Can you hear the screams again
catching my eyes on the old man's cane
Pooling around is the red blood stain
Shouting and screams of youth awry
Smoke of confusion burning the sky
Helpless endeavors to learn to fly
Sowing the sickness of men who die
Extra incence to cover the blood
Extra towels to soak up the flood
Tears falling deep into cracks of mud
Piercing the earth like an iron stud
Causing the pain of all mankind
Easting away the eyes of the blind
Asking for whom the dead will find
Shuffling the names in your mind
Pouring through the open sores
Gashing the earth and all her whores
Refusing to open the sealed up doors
Blood seeping through the waters pores
Seeking the life that will be gone
Holding the death of night till dawn
Watching the doe devour her fawn
Controlling the life of the little white pawn.
*%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*
-=[ Untitled ]=-
By Dark Phiber
what am i doing here.mind wandering.going.growing.cyberspace.great escape.
all disappears.even the fears.fun.we all become one.united.together.forever.
probably never.shoes too tight.walls too white.everything's gone.didn't mean
to do wrong.big mistake.last corn flake.let me out.let me go.rebel.devil.not
special.dumb.numb.life of a bum.weak.no need to speak.let it go.all runs out.
takes no effort.blank mind.time to rewind.rethink.wink.blink.it's all over.
four leaf clover.start again.just pretend.everything's right.nothing goes
wrong.same old song.know the words.kill some birds.fly away.don't wanna stay.
which way to go.in the wrong row.play it loud.get lost in the crowd.watch
your step.not dead yet.trying.lying.crying.drop one tear.no fear.
*%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*
-=[ Run from Hell ]=-
By Jester
I was weak, but you were strong
Once you saved me from the Devils song
I listened hard to hear your cry
But I heard nothing, so i gave up and died
Now I am the Dark Ones slave
He whips me when I don't behave
I try to run from this fucking hell
But I am look, shit happens...oh well
He approaches me with his magic touch
He temps me with marijuana and such
He tells me I will get my share
And lights a fire to my dispair
On my body, burning hot
This is the end, but I shall not
Remain here in this fucking hell
And I tried to run but well is well
I close my eyes for eternity
And say goodbye to you...
*%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*
-=[ A GROSS DESCRYPTION OF NOTHING ]=-
-=[ Subtitled: LICKING THE STICKY SEX ]=-
By Fauli
In a bright room of white walls glaring
back at me a with frustration and
blankness that only a wall could
communicate. With hatred blaring in my
eardrums, "LET ME OUT, LEMME GO!" During
a time in which nothing was getting done
really fast. And everything is going to
fast. I must slow down. Down to pace
where everything is under control. I
must have control. But then there are
these crazy bitches that call. They call
and ask, "Are you mad at me?" They call
and say, "Can you come over tonight? I'd
really like to see you." But no. No, I
can not. I am not mad, I'm crazy. Crazy
about the shit piling up at my apartment.
And the 19 fucking millions projects I
got going on. But then there is
something in the corner. A tiny
something, furry, grey, and nibbling on a
tiny piece of garbage. A mouse. Oh
great now I live in a rat infested
apartment. Not only is my apartment a
mess, but now there a rats here. Stinky,
smelly, dirty rats. With yellow teeth
and the chitter of nibbling on garbage.
Oh god, where is my life going?
Hello God, It's me. Yes, me AGAIN. I
know, I know. But this time I won't get
mad at you. Okay? Okay. It's like this
God. Yeah I know I always start out with
"It's like this God." But I can't help
it. I'm an unorignal buffoon. Yeah,
you're right, I am to hard on myself.
But hey a guy needs his character
defects. It's what makes us human, but
you should know that. You're god, you
know everything. Which is why I'm making
this prayer. Ya see, I need to know
about women. Oh you can't tell me? why?
Oh I see, I guess even God needs
entertainment.
And what about those yankees. Who cares?
I don't, but maybe I'll get laid tonight.
Maybe not. I doesn't matter 'cause I
know how to masturbate! Yes, spank the
monkey, yank it funky, beat my meat, I'm
a whack-off junky. I got videos,
magazines and one helluva creative mind.
I've jerked off to just about all the
women I know. I'm sick Sick SICK. I'm
not mad, I'm crazy.
A guy walks into a bar. He goes up to
the bartender and says, "I'm a poet, can
I get a drink?" And the bartender says,
"no." So the guy says, "I'm a Painter,
can I get a drink?" And the bartender
says, "No." So then the guy thinks for a
bit and then he says, "I'm a non-equity
actor, can I have a drink, now?" and the
bartender says, "NO." So the guy thinks
some more and says, "I'm a poet, can ya
gimme a drink." and the bartender says,
"You already tried that one, no." And so
the guy apologizes. Then he gets a light
bulb above his head. The guy says, "I'm
a lawyer, Can I get a drink?" And then
the bartender pulls out a nine millimeter
hand gun and GAT GAT GAT, shoots the guy
three times in the head. The bartender
then says, "nope."
Enough of that nonsense, I got a story for
you!
Once upon a time I was mad...Now I'm Crazy!
*%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*
-=[ Exanguinate ]=-
By Zorro
Blood from your lips,
Puss from your eyes,
I love the smell,
When Somebody dies.
They served no purpose,
To us who remain,
All that they did,
Was relocate to Maine.
They came and they sat,
And watched with content,
As the world passed before them,
My anger won't vent.
Their town gives them pride,
To which locals abide,
But for a foreigner like me,
I fucking disagree.
I sit in my house,
The sheets I do douse,
Yes dreams of leaving,
Are still conceiving.
That day in school,
I started to drool,
As a plan came alive,
That would help me survive.
I went to the office,
Where the administrators sat,
Talking about Maine,
Fuck, I hate that!
I pulled out my AK47.
*%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*
-=[ Summer Of Hate ]=-
By ]<0rrrUpT
Something bitter this way comes the shaking
earths unstable and coming undone
conquer and decimate
tell me what have you won
raise your flag on the wasteland
tell me what have you done
Lets kill the light and bring down the night
let your chaos rage
in the summer of hate
It's the summer of Hate
kneel and kiss the hand you can not bite
turn a blind eye fed an obvious lie
drinking misperception and thinking
that we dont see the knifeblade
thinks that its time you learned how to bleed
the Master ruled with an iron glove
your greatest trick was the summer of love
but youve grown fat secure
and we dont think that our anger is about to abate
and if you think you are safe
then you're a little too late
because we have come to kill you
in the Summer of Hate
*%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*
=------------=-----------------------=------------------------=---------------=
| |
| ...A Final (Hopefully!) Look at Godd(+d)... |
| |
=------------=-----------------------=------------------------=---------------=
'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'
'.' The Godd Story in Retro '.'
'.'.'.',','.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'
Godd(+d)!@!@!#!@#!!1 This is your life.
We ran into Godd when he first called my board Mogel-Land and he decided
to e-mail me a ba-zillion times asking to be a HoE site. Before I had even
looked at his mail I was getting yelled at to look at his application. I
don't like being called a cocksucker. I do like being called a fat italian
cocksucker. Since he didn't call me what I wanted to be called I deleted him
from Mogel-Land. That is the beginning of the Godd myth0s.
I later ran into Godd posting on a lousy local board in 215 called "The
Pit". Yes, that's the same board the produced such glorious fighters of
intelligence like the Modem Mafia. I guess some boards, no matter how
shitty, you just have to call for a good laugh. At any rate, I saw one of
the st00pitest BBS ads I had ever seen in my life, posted by Godd. It was
one of those type of posts that make you slap yourself in the face and say
"HOLY SHIT! THERE REALLY ARE FUCKUPS LIKE THIS OUT THERE! IS IT ALL WORTH IT?
SHOULD I KILL MYSELF?!" so like, I replied and had a little short-lived
argument. I later realized just how funny it was, and decided to print the
captures in HoE #60. I had sealed Godd's fate.
I frequented The Hacker Crackdown, run by Dark Phiber (former CAFBL HQ)
bunches and the CAFBL boys read the HoE. They decided to talk to the
whippersnapper. Dark Phiber called the board (named "Satan's Sanctuary") and
basically wanted to know why Godd had used the name "DpE" for a group he was
in, when the name DpE was being used for some other group. Soon after DP
called, I called the board.
What I saw in the board scared me
. I was stepping deep into the heart of
moronism. That was when I not only decided to invent an entire new science
based on the study of morons, but I realized that Godd had to be stopped.
Fortunately, for my realms of maturity, I only did what I did best - make him
feel stupid. So, me and Black Francis declared (with everyone's agreement)
that Godd would be the OFFICIAL 215 Mascot. The actual real trouble for Godd
came, however, from the CAFBL boys.
It was really sparked when Kaos and Godd chatted and Godd decided he
would take it as his opportunity (which he later did a bunch of other times)
to declare the "lameness" of the group CAFBL and other such "insults". He
also had created his own group called "Text Forecasters" (or 'TF' for those
that are h1p) which was supposedly a poetry and H/P group. Shrug. I didn't
really pay much attention at first.
The CAFBL guys, I guess, don't take insults well. Dark Phiber, with the help
of Kaos, succeeded in doing all sorts of things hence forth. DP found out
Godd's inph0 and made it public. Basically this led to Godd getting a heck
of a lot of crank calls to his home. His Mother and Father had no idea that
Godd was running a BBS off his 'private line', which meant eventual curtains
for his BBS. Kaos and Morpheus ringled a lot fun and CAFBL had eventually
entertained itself quite a bit. It was epitomized when DP put Ultra Call
Forwarding on your BBS line and forwarded it to the Secret Service.
A few days before Godd's board died I called once more, whereon, I
chatted with Godd for a while. All the while I honestly had no clue what he
was talking about. At any rate, he told me to download the first TF2_95.ZIP
release and so I did. Straight off of his board. I read the release.
Again, the world around me shook. I could not conceive of this. This
was again a level of pathetic I had never experienced before. Here I was
was, looking at stupid incarnate. The release had a "newsletter" file that
opened with quotes from Kurdt K0brain and Sn0pp d0GGy d0g. It broke into a
top-10 list of reasons why you shouldn't call a "PD" board, none of which
were funny or understandable really. It included a Mod of the "TF" theme
song, which was a bad rendition of "Enter Sandman" by Metallica. It had
plans for a gNu .box, called the Lock Box, which was a Box based on a * Bell
Service and wasn't a "box" at all. Uhm, yeah. Ultimately, it was a big
laugh. DP put it best when he said "You say seriously, what HoE says
Sarcastically."
After people laughed for days about the TF file, Godd posted publicly
on The Pit that TF was NOT his group (he said he had nothing to do with it),
and in fact it was some other local guy named "Problemed" which it was known
that CAFBL didn't like either. I guess in his own little warped mind he
thought he was being slick. He had forgotten that he had CHATTED with me and
told me to get the TF release. I replied to his message telling him that I
couldn't believe that he was denying that he was the sole maker and producer
of TF. Of course he was. He replied something to the effect of "I can't
explain it to you, it's just too k0mplex. These things don't seem to make
sense probably because I have nothing to do with them." Uhhh... yeah. So I
sarcastically asked him if perhaps someone had broken into his house and
started chatting with me about TF. He didn't reply to that. He just denied
being in TF. (Note: Godd's name was all over the file, and the "style" of
typing in the file was an EXACT match to the confusing retarded style that
Godd used in any chat or post I had ever seen. It couldn't have been
'Problemed', because after one one encounter with him, I knew that he was not
mentally capable of producing such a good imitation. He just wasn't smart
enough.)
"FINE," I said, "if no one actually runs TF how is 215 going to get it's
qu4l1ty Ayche-Pee?!@!@#"
It was decided on a k0nf (being billed to Godd) that we would repay his
hospitality by producing our own next release of TF. We would fill it with
the stupidest possible t-files we could write, and thus we did. TF3_5.ZIP
was made and it was a swell little rap up to the Godd epidemic. He had
become famous, thanks to us, in 215 for being infamous m0r0n. People called
Godd Long Distance to talk to him. Some people gave his # out on IRC.
That was basically that. Godd is still around. Currently him,
Problemed, Sub Zero, and other 'elite' rej3cts of 215 hang out together in
some dark, twisted, and (of course) pathetic place in some board Somewhere.
None of us much really care anymore about it. As it stands today, Godd and
Sub Zero think CAFBL is the epitome of H/P 'coolness' and are planning to
submit to it. Godd goes to the same High School as Kaos and follows him
everywhere worshipping him as GaWd. I think it's cute in a sort of way.
Godd and all those guys got their own little club to be friends, CAFBL was
amused, Black Frannie got to make fun of someone to no ends, and I had made
all this documented. We all won out.
One may wonder why did we spend so much time playing with Godd. That
question can only be answered by each individual. We all sort of knew deep
down, however, that there was hundreds of Godd's out there. After HoE #60
was released, I heard again and again from people "We have a guy like that in
our area code too!" I guess it was a symbol of ultimate proof. We did what
GwD did in 806 with Greeny. We made a confirmed l0zer.
Because I'm a self-analytical Fuckup, I often ask myself if what was
done to Godd was mature or not. I was convinced many different ways on it for
a while, and I ultimately decided "Fuck it." There are just some people out
there that will always have these things coming to them. You can't control
it. Have fun. I, myself, although I never did any "abuse", did condone it.
Not to mention the fact that I started all this trouble originally for Godd.
I guess my only answer is sometimes we need to kick, point, and laugh at the
stupid. It's the only way anything will ever change. The 'Godd's out there
are multiplying by the day.
Godd, I know that you will read this file. You are reading it right now
and your brain is probably churning in ways it never has before. When I
heard you talking that first time on the Teleconfrence I wanted to say it to
you then, but I knew that in text form it would mean much more. You don't
get it. Even after it's been thrown in your face you don't get it.
Maturity, being real, and style are what it's about. Let this be the most
important lesson about 'the scene' that you ever learn from a t-file.
"He thought the local 2600 meetings were called H.O.P.Es." - Sub Zero
"That CAN'T be godd. That was an complete thought." - Spiff
"We don't want any losers on this teleconfrence!" - Godd
[Note: Kaos was supposed to write the 'retro' file. He was too slow. Did I
do a good job? Think so? Good.]
'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'
'.' Quotes from the Mythical Moron - Collected By Mogel, m0rph, Kaos, DP '.'
'.'.'.',','.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'
Here are many quotes that I have compiled from the mythical moron.
These were nabbed from posts, chats, and private e-mails. I think it makes
an interesting case study. Note that all the quotes are in chronological
order.
"...its bright and h/p/a/c/v activises in 2i5 are on the move ... listen to
metallica they rule.... we also predict a big downfall for Cafbl..."
"You can't change anything on anyone's phone account without a password."
"mogel...hahahah that pussy, i logged on to his bbs, i never begged shit!, i
asked him if i could have a hoe distro but becuase he's an asshole he never
anaswe so i wrote the 2! next people in rank, Black Fran and Slater!, becuase
i hoped 1! of them who answer, now that aint begging, begging is stooopid, i
dont like hoe, at all really, their the next potential high flyer from
2i5!..."
"...this fucking area code is full of Power Trippy lil lamerz like KAOS,
mOGEL AND black francis mostly, though i apologize to the cool people who
dont go off and try to be /<-rad, anyway, whom have no skill and knocj the
skillz of other poeple, and in generally, cornily bullied their way into an
area in which they are about to have to deicide what to do, and make mistakes
they will, and i iwll be their to reap the joyous collection of InSultS and
the happy downfall of hoe and high flyers a like, and you so judgmental,
cursing the Tf's and the DpE's and the small cool groups of today with your
high flyers Sooooooooper doooooooper ansi rips and your awesome /<radicality
should shove it up your ass...."
"phiber, look if you dont shut the fuck up with your Promo Soooper Fucking
you better than everyone attitude i am gonna have to fucking delete ya
again.... your the stooopid founder of a stooopid loser group that sucks,
blow it out your ass! dont gimme yer shit cause i am tired of going and
deleting you corny fucking posts..."
"i am the fucking Tf founder! its beemn in the works. its a small lil LiT and
other h/p/c/a/v lil shits group that ya know dont doooo a whole lot of
sooooooooper ansi's and shit but just writes some stuff they think is cool"
"well i donno what k rad means but i 've always know it to be used
negativly..."
"hoe ... well what about em... i havent read something from you guyz in
ages ... my dicsion as of the last one i read is you guys rule.... but ....
ya never know till you;ve sampled the best and the worst...."
"pbiber, hey this is the eternal d! whats up man? i like you TF thing but
check out the message bases... i pretty much denoted any connected to Tf
being as it was all problemed doing... anywayz... i just wanted to say
yello, and uhh ... well maybe next weekend you can check out my telecon i
will have up....i will email the details anyway but .... thanks man sorry
about rippings yaz that time it was outta line cuz you had already explained
you had no prob with me...."
"DEAR PEOPLE!
This is Godd DA DA! DA DA .....
i wonna make the announcement that the text forcastors thing
released under the name TF2-95.zip IS NOT mine....
nor will any other files under that name be mine.....
i never write any actual files for it..... i only mentioned
that as a name for group to a few people a month or so back....
i belived it was PROBLEMED, being as he started my past
problems... Futhermore i wonna Apologize for what i said about
CAFBL that long time ago to DP, becuase he had made it clear
he had no problem with me previous to the writing of my hate
mail...... now.... i wonna thank for you time.... and i guess thats it...."
"but you can docotr anything you want i was never in TF!... as for grave
digger like i said he jumps on the band wagon of whatever is up for now....
which is better than what i do, at least as far you you go, i might act like
a moron but i do my best ot clean up any mess' i make.... i never pick
anyone for a serious attack, usually, though i aint as lame as some might
think... perhaps my lash out on you has made you non-understanding of the
situation... i have no problem with anyone in the area code... lest you
consider my past... but all in all i have seriously cleaned up what i have
done and made all around good relations..... so as far as what most want to
think about my story (the truth) or this whole situation i dont really
care.... i mean i know this may seen blurred and not very informative but...
thats what its supposed to do isnt it.... each action that seems to come
next from me a lil more and more unpredicable.... probably DO OT the fact
that i aint doing em... why would i starte a war with CAFBL... and mogel i
have never said anything but sorry's and thank you's to you!... as long as i
see no reason to fight..."
'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'
'.' The Game of Godd - By Dark Phiber '.'
'.'.'.',','.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'
REM * This a game based on Godd's life and times. It is the for de TeXt * REM
REM * FoReCaSteRs. Programmed in Qbasic for that 100% WaReZ affect!!!1 * REM
CLS
COLOR 5: PRINT "_____ |~~ \__/ _____"
PRINT " | |- | |"
PRINT " | |__ /-\ |"
PRINT "|--- __ /--\ |~~ | / /--\ ---/ /-_-\ |~~ /--\ ---/"
PRINT "|-- | | |--/ |- |x |--| / | |- |--/ / "
PRINT "| |__| | \ |__ | \ | | /___ | |__ | \ /___"
PRINT
PRINT "...presents..."
10 COLOR 15: PRINT "Godd's Adventures in AYCHE/PEE Land v.98"
11 PRINT "Please turn on your caps lock and hit enter to continue....": INPUT R$
30 CLS : COLOR 4: PRINT "Scene: You are Godd one of the most famous people in 215."
31 PRINT "You have decided to become k-rad and open up your own BBS."
32 PRINT "What would you like to name your BBS?"
33 INPUT B$
34 PRINT " ": PRINT "So you have decided to call your board "; B$; "."
35 PRINT "You make an add for your BBS which states the following:"
36 COLOR 9: PRINT "Call "; B$; "....."
37 PRINT "It's lame, it's ashame, and my underwear is shit stained,"
38 PRINT "but that's no reason not to call "; B$
39 PRINT "215.744.4944 Node 1 215.744.0225 Node 2"
40 COLOR 4: PRINT "Before long every lamer in 215 is on your BBS."
45 PRINT " ": PRINT " "
50 PRINT "Now that you set up your board it's time to have some fun.": GOTO 55
51 PRINT " ": PRINT "Now that you have your board and your friends, what would you like to do?"
52 PRINT " ": PRINT "Now that you have a board and some enemies, what would you like to do?"
55 PRINT "What do you want to do?"
60 PRINT "1) Make some friends"
65 PRINT "2) Make some enemies"
70 PRINT "3) Start your own group"
75 PRINT "4) Join another group"
76 PRINT "Choose (hit 5 to quit)": INPUT D
80 IF D = 1 THEN GOTO 105
85 IF D = 2 THEN GOTO 165
90 IF D = 3 THEN GOTO 400
95 IF D = 4 THEN GOTO 430
100 IF D = 5 THEN COLOR 15: PRINT "Quiting already? You really are a l00zer!": END
105 PRINT " ": PRINT "You set out to find some friends."
110 COLOR 4: PRINT "Who would you like your friends to be?": INPUT F1$
111 IF F1$ = "KAOS" THEN GOTO 132
112 IF F1$ = "MOGEL" THEN GOTO 133
113 IF F1$ = "DARK PHIBER" THEN GOTO 134
115 PRINT "Enter another friends name:(enter no if you are done)": INPUT F2$
116 IF F2$ = "KAOS" THEN GOTO 132
117 IF F2$ = "MOGEL" THEN GOTO 133
118 IF F2$ = "DARK PHIBER" GOTO 134
120 IF F2$ = "NO" THEN GOTO 145
125 PRINT "Enter another friends name:(enter no if you are done)": INPUT F3$
126 IF F3$ = "KAOS" THEN GOTO 132
127 IF F3$ = "MOGEL" THEN GOTO 133
128 IF F3$ = "DARK PHIBER" THEN GOTO 134
130 IF F3$ = "NO" THEN GOTO 155
131 GOTO 135
132 COLOR 15: PRINT "Yeah..right, get lost!": GOTO 110
133 COLOR 15: PRINT "No way in HoE. I phear Mogel!": GOTO 110
134 COLOR 15: PRINT "Yeah and monkeys may fly out my ass!": GOTO 110
135 PRINT " ": PRINT "You have found some new friends. "; F1$; ", "; F2$; ", and "; F3$
140 PRINT "become your posse."
141 GOTO 51
145 PRINT " ": PRINT F1$; " becomes your best friend. You and "; F1$; " are your"
150 PRINT "own posse."
151 GOTO 51
155 PRINT " ": PRINT F1$; " and "; F2$; " are now your friends and join your"
160 PRINT "posse."
161 GOTO 51
165 PRINT " ": PRINT "So you want to make some enemies. That won't"
170 PRINT "be too hard for yourself."
171 PRINT " ": PRINT "Would you like to pick your own enemies or pick from a"
172 PRINT "list."
173 PRINT " ": PRINT "Type 1 to pick your own or 2 to pick from the list(type 3 to return to the main menu)": INPUT E
174 IF E = 1 THEN GOTO 180
175 IF E = 2 THEN GOTO 210
176 IF E = 3 THEN GOTO 52
180 PRINT "Enter the name of the person you want to become enemies"
185 PRINT "with:": INPUT E$
186 IF E$ = "KAOS" THEN GOTO 250
187 IF E$ = "MOGEL" THEN GOTO 305
188 IF E$ = "DARK PHIBER" THEN GOTO 335
190 PRINT " ": PRINT E$; " finally starts to hate you after you harass him on all"
195 PRINT "the local boards, but in the end "; E$; " makes"
200 PRINT "you look like an ass."
205 GOTO 171
210 PRINT " ": PRINT "Choose one from the list:"
215 PRINT "1) KAOS"
220 PRINT "2) MOGEL"
225 PRINT "3) DARK PHIBER"
230 PRINT "Enter the number of your choice:": INPUT E
235 IF E = 1 THEN GOTO 250
240 IF E = 2 THEN GOTO 305
245 IF E = 3 THEN GOTO 335
250 PRINT " ": PRINT " "
255 PRINT "You start your terror on Kaos after he logs onto"
260 PRINT "your board, "; B$; ". You flame each other for a while, but"
265 PRINT "then you got pissed and kicked him off your board."
270 PRINT "He then kept trying to logon to your board under different"
275 PRINT "accounts. You get the best of him when you find out"
280 PRINT "his info and post it all over The Pit and hack"
285 PRINT "a few of his accounts on some shitty local boards."
290 PRINT "You can consider this your first victory."
300 GOTO 171
305 PRINT " ": PRINT "Mogel has called into your BBS a few times. Since he runs"
310 PRINT "a fairly large and popular group you find the need to"
315 PRINT "attack him for no reason at all. Mogel is much to witty for"
320 PRINT "you and no matter what you say, he always gets the best of you."
325 PRINT "You find it best to make amends with Mogel and leave him alone."
330 GOTO 171
335 PRINT " ": PRINT "Dark Phiber was probably the worst person you could have ever"
340 PRINT "became enemies with. Kaos helped Dark Phiber and got your real"
345 PRINT "name, Matt Baumbach. That was all Dark Phiber needed to start his"
350 PRINT "terror on YOU! He started merely by making prank phone calls to"
355 PRINT "your house harassing your parents. Then he put Ultra Call"
360 PRINT "Forwarding on your BBS line and forwarded it to the Secret Service"
365 PRINT "in Philadelphia one night. In all that was going on, your parents"
370 PRINT "also found out that you were running a BBS that they didn't know"
375 PRINT "about. They made you shut that down. Dark Phiber definitely got"
380 PRINT "the best of you and you pretty much dropped out of the scene."
390 COLOR 15: PRINT "You lose!": END
395 GOTO 171
400 PRINT " ": PRINT "After you start your BBS and it gets off it's feet you"
405 PRINT "decide to start up your own group."
410 PRINT " ": PRINT "What would you like to name your group?": INPUT G$
415 PRINT " ": PRINT "So "; G$; " puts out it's first pak and takes 215 by storm. But later"
420 PRINT "on you deny you ever wrote anything for "; G$; " and Problemed gets"
425 PRINT "all the credit.": PRINT " ": GOTO 55
430 PRINT " ": PRINT "You search out some of the /<-raddest groups you can find to join."
435 PRINT "What group would you like to apply for? (type NO to quit).": INPUT R$
436 IF R$ = "NO" THEN PRINT " ": GOTO 55
440 IF R$ = "HOE" THEN GOTO 465
445 IF R$ = "CAFBL" THEN GOTO 475
450 PRINT " ": PRINT "You apply for "; R$; " and get into the group. Although they are"
455 PRINT "glad to have you, the group does become a little but lamer now"
460 PRINT "that you are a member.": GOTO 430
465 PRINT " ": PRINT "Do you actually think you could get into something as kewl as Hoe?"
470 PRINT "What they write sarcastically, you write it seriously.": GOTO 430
475 PRINT " ": PRINT "You don't have the H/P knowledge to even be considered to join CAFBL.": GOTO 430
'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'
'.' The Return Box, By Mogel '.'
'.'.'.',','.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'
We'Re TeXt PhorKaZTiN' iN
..... .......
... . .......
..... ... ...
.. ... ....
..... ... ....
.......
....
______
|| ___ "The Return Box"
|| ||__ --------------
|| ||
Satan's Sanctuary By -> Mogel
[This Box deeply inspired by the raddy-rad GoDD Lock Box file!]
[With special help from Lucifuge and Crank in a Teleconfrence]
Uses:
This is for all you guys that wonna (note: I spelled it "wonna" just like
GoDD always does) look like the kinda guy that is a guy and can do that guy
type-o-guy stuff with the "i know you - even if you don't know how i know
you" guy guy guy. That's the kinda guy I am, I can tell you all my sUpAh
phreakin' sEkReTz. Okay, here it goes...
*69 command - This is a command implemented that calls the person that just
called you back. We in the elite h4qR biz call it "return calling". It's
like tracing. Except not as good. But what can you expect from mA b3ll!?
Ah, but there's more. All kinds of neat trixxx are abound in the mysterious
*69 k0de for y3w t3w r4p3. Here's just s0me:
1] Dual Crank-Caller - When you get one of those rude cRAnK callers that
hang up as soon as you pick up the phone you can use the box and call them
back. Then as soon as they pick up the phone you hang up on them - perfect
equality!@!
3] Revenge. Go to one of your enemies homes and continuously keep dialing *69
and rack up the phone bill, slowly adding 30 cent charges. This might seem
slower than simply calling Guam and leaving the phone off hook, but hey you
can hit some buttons!
4] This is an optional way to construct a box, in case you think it's "not a
real box" unless you go to radio shack. Go to Radio shack. Ask the guy
behind the counter for a tone dialer... laugh when he calls he calls you a
"hacker" and and say "n0t m33 d00d!@!". Call Digikey -> 1800DIGIKEY. Order
the same crystal that's already in the box! Now buy a new soldering iron,
even if you already have one. Properly de-solder the crystal and make sure
that there's no glue left over. Solder the new crystal in, but make sure
the side of the crystal you solder in has the numbers up, so people know
it's NOT the crystal the box came with. Screw yer box back together. Now
go back to radio shack. This part takes 4 months, but it's worth it - ask
the d00d behind the counter for a "battery of the month club". Get one of
the red AAA batteries with your "battery the month card" and let him punch
out this month's "number" (elite tip - do this at the end of the month so
you can go back the next day and get yer second battery) do this until you
have 4 batteries. Place the batteries in yer return box and take the card out
of the back where you list all yer stored phone numbers. Write "Return Box"
with a red crayon in the "P1" slot. Now flip the card over and read the
instructions on how to program the memory spot to make your return box
activate with one button. Now go to sk00l and sell it one of yer hacker d00d
friends for 50 dollars. You are now truly 3113t3 and a phreaker. You will be
famous and your work is in demand. It takes 4 months to make each one so
it's even more in demand. Man, this paragraph was long.
Needs ->
A Phone
At least one working finger
A way to get the phone to your ear
The "*" and the "6" and the "9" buttons
A dial tone
a IQ over 75
Sufficient Motor skills to hit the buttons
Cost ->
Approximate $.30
/<-Features ->
Do you really need some selling points for this Box? Okay here you go:
a) Makes a cool noise.
b) only 3 digits! whee!
c) if you take off the * it's a cool position.
d) the 6 and 9 are close together so it's real easy to hit.
e) the letters spell "MY", "OX", and "OW".
f) You can pay 6 BuX to not have any more *69 charges. m4k3z zentz.
g) if you get off on the operators voice, then it's extra cool.
h) you don't have to go to radio shack to buy parts.
i) there's not too many digits in it, so if you wonna (note: wonna!) dial
with your pinky then it won't get you tired.
j) it's so elite! it starts with a hip '*'!
k) it's just really 'k'.
[Special Note: During the writing of this text file, Lucifuge instantly
became cool to cRAnK's eyes. Thanks again ultimately go to Mogel and his
now infamous-before-it-was-released Return box. All hail the return box!]
=------------=-----------------------=------------------------=---------------=
| |
| ...Interview with Swamp Ratte' of cDc... |
| |
=------------=-----------------------=------------------------=---------------=
1] How the poop did you ever originally get such a spiffy god-damned handle?
I used to spend my days when I was little running around through the woods in
Ohio around my parents' house. These woods contained a huge swamp which I'd
fall into a lot and get covered with sewage. Cool. Rats are cool, too.
Really though, it's just another "dumb animal" handle and I spell it
differently to not be confused with however many other people call themselves
the same thing. If i'd been thinking ahead, I would have come up with
something more unique.
BTW, "Ratte'" is just pronounced "rat." It ain't pseudo-French.
2] How old were you and what was it that got you into this whole shin-dig?
In 1980, the UPS Man brought a gnarly Apple II+ w/48k RAM and one 140k disk
drive to the house. I was ten years old and it was about the coolest thing
anyone had ever seen. Friends would come over and we'd play lots of
Wizardry, Apple Panic, Space Eggs, Bill Budge's Space Album...early stuff
like that. Write lame little things in Applesoft. Read Softalk, Creative
Computing, and Hardcore Computist magazines. In '82 at school I was
introduced by some other kids to the concept of WAREZ. Woah. As everybody
knows, when you're 12 that means all the video games you could ever want,
free. With those way-cool "CRACKED BY MR. KRAC-MAN!!" sector edits and the
names of the first two pirate groups splattered all over 'em... The Apple
Mafia and The Untouchables. It was intriguing.
I started calling boards in '84. There were maybe a half-dozen or so of us
local younger teens who were all running boards by this time on Apple II's,
TI 99/4A's, and Atari 800's. The BBS software was all original or so
modded-out that you couldn't tell what it was originally. It was a
tightly-knit group and we had a lot of fun doing messed-up board mods that
freaked out the old tech-oriented users who only called Fidos.
This is what cDc originally grew out of.
The Egyptian Lover of the Phoneline Phantoms was our local elite guy (he had
an AppleCat modem while nobody else did) and he ran a board called The
Missing Link which was a big deal at the time. He helped Franken Gibe and I
get going with the low-level telecom stuff of the day... easy local codes,
extenders, WATS Metros, boxing, bridges, Alliance conferences, etc.
_Wargames_-era things, as we were all part of that early '80s big wave of
h/p kids. The best thing about The Missing Link though was that it had
something brand-new... text-files! This was a HUGE conceptual shift right
there. You had goofy things like "How to Hijack a School Bus" and then tech
info like thermite recipes and "The Book of BIOC" which started unravelling
the mysteries of the phone system. The whole concept was mind-blowing. Any
kid just like us, who could get to a computer could boot up AppleWriter or
whatever and just write something... how to solve Zork, revenge fantasies
involving parents, ANYTHING. Use a 5-digit MCI code (so easy to get you
could hack one by hand in a few minutes) to call The Metal AE or Ripco and
upload it. Within a day, this self-published t-file would have spread across
the USA and was being read by hundreds, thousands of kids. Who would write
their own stuff and do the same thing. There's never been anything else like
it. It was totally BY these kids, FOR these kids. That's something a lot of
people don't seem to understand, like the way our file "Sex With Satan" was
featured on _Geraldo_ and cDc was referred to as "a bunch of sickos" by the
host. Sure, the file's pretty dumb, but the point is that it was written by
a 14-year old. Not some middle-aged pervert trolling for little kids, but a
bored jr. high student writing for other kids in the same age range with the
same sense of humor. Nobody cares if you don't get it, Mr. Rivera, you're
not _supposed_ to.
The first group of people to really grasp the concept and start doing
organized electronic publishing was Anarchy, Inc. in 1984. They were
followed by the Neon Knights, cDc(under the name "Pan-Galactic Entropy"), and
then Phrack Magazine in '85. Presently, some of the former members of
Anarchy, Inc. are responsible for the Waffle BBS software. The Neon Knights
are long gone, while cDc continues and Phrack has changed editors several
times but persists.
3] Why do you continue doing such socially IMPORTANT work?
That's a scary question. Sarcasm, sarcasm. Well, see, it's like this. I
don't *like* computers. I don't dig messing with them for hours for the sake
of messing. Or struggling to get a hard drive running or taking care of some
obscure little software problem. The "computer as LEGO set" analogy has
never really worked for me. I've got plenty of patience to _deal_ with
computers *when there's some definite point to it.* I think of computers
as... tools to do something that's hopefully cool with. I've always felt
this need to make things, to produce. I happen to use computers for some of
the stuff I make. And telecom gives me a really good way to distribute some
of the stuff, too. It's a piece of equipment. Not a "friend," not a
"life"...yeesh... get away from me with that new-school "cybersurfing
info-junkie" zombie talk. Buncha middle-aged Star Trek freaks wearing
polyster pants and arguing about IRQ conflicts is where THAT road leads to.
If you're headed that way, GET OFF THAT BUS NOW, man. That's my advice. I'm
not into escapism... not much TV, fantasy/sci-fi books, drugs, role-playing
games, or sitting on my ass trying desperately to forget the world with my
modem. It's all the same.
cDc was unique when we started in that we were/are about using technology
as a means to an end, never was the technology an end to itself.
The medium is NOT the message. The message is the message, and the medium is
insignificant when it can be taken for granted. That's what we want.
4] Do you have a life? If so, what are some real world interests of yours?
Damn, I hope I have a life. That'd be cool. Anyhow, I keep busy enough.
Physical stuff: I like bike riding (BMX, mountain, street), working out,
playing Ultimate Frisbee, skating (boarding, in-line), mind-in-a-mess walks
at 3am, Breaking & Entering, Trespassing, going to most all of the punk shows
that hit town, dancing at raves, and dinking around at playgrounds like an
idiot. One of my goals is to someday have an indoor full-sized trampoline.
That would rock.
Music is a big deal to me. I listen to and dig everything from death metal
to disco. I was playing bass in a hardcore metal/punk band Tragic Machine up
until a month ago, and I play guitar and keyboards. I rap & produce music
for my punk/hip-hop band Weasel-MX, produce for a dub/funk project, rap and
produce for another dancehall reggae/hip-hop crew called Primordial Dub, and
have a solo thing called Squint Thrust. I've got a little recording studio
place downtown where I do demos for other (mostly rock) bands and record my
own projects. It's fun and makes a little money (too little).
I make t-shirts and hats and stickers and put out tapes myself, and that's
all cDc stuff. I legally own the name "cDc communications" and "Cult of the
Dead Cow" is the trademark, so it's for real and that's the name I use for
the stuff I make. Doing graphic designs for those things is pretty fun, wish
I had a rad Mac setup for it.
Other than that, I'm a senior telecommunications major and I DJ at the
college radio station. I need to hurry up and finish and try to get a real
job, eh.
So that's literally all I ever do... school and music and make stuff and
exercise and I'm never bored. I don't know if that's really good for me or
not though. I just work, that's it.
5] What person in the world is the /<-RaDDeZT eleet guy dat makes you happy?
I'm not sure how to answer this. "What person makes me happy?" Nobody in
particular. Well, I know some nice people and that's good.
Um. Like this, "Who are the /<-RaDDeZT eleet guy(s)?"
All the cDc cats are like some of the most creative and hypest people around
I could ever hope to be associated with. The Gonif (Natl. Enlightener),
The Daredevil (Anarchy, Inc.), Evel Knievel, all the editors Phrack's had,
Lord Digital, Jesus, Muhammed Ali, Steve Wozniak, The Knights Of Shadow,
Rick Rubin, Abbie Hoffman (YIPL, know your roots), Ian MacKaye, Malcolm X,
Video Vindicator (Mr. Fraud), and Mr. T (The A-Team).
6] Who is the most ANNOYING person you have ever known? oh, and WHY...
Hmm. I like most everybody, it's just certain traits I don't care for.
Lying, backstabbing, the usual Bad Person things like that are... bad.
Uh. People's point of not returning phone calls. The need some h/p kids
feel to call me and "show off" all their info while I'm on the line by
dialing all these bridges and stuff. I'm usually happy to talk about
anything, it's just the showing off part that's not so good. Kinda
pretentious. Overall, this is the big one: how huge numbers of people go out
of their way to act/look/seem "weird" or "different" in a feeble attempt to
be interesting. IT DOESN'T WORK. NOTHING IS IMPRESSIVE, GET IT?
EVERYTHING'S BEEN DONE, SO RELAX AND BE YOURSELF. If you're a freak, you're
a freak and that's fine (so am I)... but LET'S NOT FAKE IT, SHALL WE?
Please. Please?! You can cover your entire surface area with tattoo ink;
you can pierce every square inch of your body; you can make your hair shine
with colors previously unseen in the known universe; you can adopt any number
of mix-and-match gender roles; you can swear endlessly with every possible
combination of "mother" and "fucker"; you can put every chemical you can beg,
borrow, and steal into your system; you can talk about your fascination with
vampires and death and black clothes and how English accents are just too
cool; you can mull over coffee-derived drinks and discuss anything, so long
as it's obscure... French philosophers, music... and make plans to motivate
the proletariat into doing your bidding... and you know what?
NONE OF IT MAKES A DAMN BIT OF DIFFERENCE. SHOCK VALUE IS NULL AND VOID
AND IT WAS ONLY FOR SQUARES ANYWAYS. Thanx!
7] What direction do you see your zine heading in?
More more more. Bigger media presence. Graphics. Music distribution is
gonna be looking really interesting through telecom pretty soon and we wanna
be involved with that. We intended to be like a D.I.Y. Time/Warner, looking
for new valid means of distributing cool stuff, cheap.
8] Toilet Paper - Folded or Crumpled?
Folded. This is too serious a situation to trust to the inherent randomness
of a crumpled wad.
9] If you were to die tomorrow and wanted to leave one quote that everyone
would remember you by, what would that be?
"Get real. Sit down. Shut up."
Nah. My real thoughts sound too much like a shoe commercial.
10] What would be the first thing that came to your mind when I say "zine"?
Ball-PEEN hammer? Disco-dancin' boogie MACHINE?
I like to read CRANK and agree with most of its sentiments. BABY SUE
is funny. COMETBUS is always interesting. SCAM, BIG BROTHER (skate), and
THORAZINE are cool. Those are my favorites.
I read MAXIMUMROCKNROLL and FLIPSIDE too but don't really know why.
CONTACT:
Swamp Ratte'/KPND/cDc communications/CULT OF THE DEAD COW/Scary Bug Laboratory
P.O. Box 53011
Lubbock, TX 79453
Email: sratte@phantom.com, sratte@cascade.net
=------------=-----------------------=------------------------=---------------=
| |
| ...Interview with Lobo of the 'zine GwD... |
| |
=------------=-----------------------=------------------------=---------------=
[Editors Note: Don't compare this to Swamp Ratte's Interview.. heh..]
1] How the poop did you ever originally get such a spiffy god-damned handle?
i was thinking of a handle and was gonna be 'ghost rider' or something, but
Lobo is just such a badass and i could definitely see myself as an
intergalactic bounty hunter. well, not really. he is a bad-ass though.
2] How old were you and what was it that got you into this whole shin-dig?
14
3] Why do you continue doing such socially IMPORTANT work?
a fanatical devotion to the pope.
4] Do you have a life? If so, what are some real world interests of yours?
yes. i geek. no, seriously, i program (somewhat badly) and go to school and
watch tv and read comix and listen to k-rad musik.
5] What person in the world is the /<-RaDDeZT eleet guy dat makes you happy
either franken gibe or swamp ratte or zen or zelia winter/calypso or
diamondback or seth sometimes or zippy or any of the other elite d00ds i hang
around with in 806.
6] Who is the most ANNOYING person you have ever known? oh, and WHY...
boffo. she was so dumb. or this guy in my cs class named adam who is so
stupid he sat through an entire period (on the day of a test, mind you) and
didn't do any of the test questions cuz his program wouldn't compile because
he forgot to put 'uses wincrt' at the top. windows tp sucks.
7] What direction do you see your zine heading in? (this one begs for jokes
well, if you mean GwD than i (hopefully) see it heading in the right
direction, ie. toward being as k-k00l as i'd always wanted it to be.
8] Toilet Paper - Folded or Crumpled?
both, yet neither.
9] If you were to die tomorrow and wanted to leave one quote that everyone
Hi guys.
10] What would be the first thing that came to your mind when I say "zine"?
cDc, and then elite.
=------------=-----------------------=------------------------=---------------=
| |
| ...The HoE Index... |
\ /
/=-~~-|-|-|-~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~-|-|-|-|~~~~~~~~~~~-=\
|# Title Author |
\=-__-|-|-|-____________________________________________-|-|-|-|___________-=/
[1] The Entropic Theme Song Defiant
[2] The Wrecking Ball! Fuzzy
[3] Microwave Bomb Shot Gun Willie
[4] Meaningful Shit Mogel
[5] Eternal Sickness v1.1 The Guest
[6] Nirvana Unlimited Mogel
[7] Ping Pong Bomb Everlast
[8] The End is Near Mogel
[9] Mortal Kombat II Docs Mogel
[10] Violent Femmes - Add it Up Mogel
[11] The Beef on Ham Jeager
[12] Hate Edge Abigwar
[13] Paradise Lost Corrosion
[14] Rage Against the Machine Lyrics Everlast
[15] C'est Le Mort Corrosion
[16] How 2 B ]<001 Anarkustz Mogel
[17] ChroniC Must Be Destroyed Abigwar
[18] Random Spam Zorro
[19] Darkness Abigwar
[20] HOE-DATE #1 Mogel
[21] The Poetic Terrorist Abigwar
[22] My Penis Unbound Mogel
[23] Thinking Abigwar
[24] The )<-RaD ]<0MPiLATi0N! Three d00dz
[25] Stars and Stripes Lyrics Abigwar
[26] The Red Ant File Abigwar
[27] Revenge of the Nerds Mogel
[28] Rifts Character Selection List Mogel
[29] Fucked up Things Chal e. Mac
[30] The Poetic Terrorist 2 Abigwar
[31] The TRUE Clash of the Titans! Psycho Santa
[32] Proof on the Questions Abigwar
[33] King Missile Lyrics /<0rrUpT
[34] Pink Noise Obscure Images
[35] Bob the Prophet Logik
[36] The gNu Hog Order Corrosion & Mogel
[37] Peanut Heaven Black Francis
[38] /<-RaD Alert! Mad Arab
[39] Mogel *WILL* Marry Winona Ryder Mogel
[40] HOE-DATE #2 Mogel
[41] The Instant /<-KiT Mad Arab
[42] The Gods Sent Us for Shrooms Abigwar
[43] Have You Called Your Psychic Friend Today? Chal e. Mac
[44] Cindy Wants Us Dead! Abigwar
[45] The Meaning of Life and How to Hack it Mogel
[46] Bus Driver Irv Corrosion
[47] Religion with Eggs & Coffee Defiant
[48] Without Want or Need Half-Baked
[49] Searching Abigwar
[50] Who the Hell are ya'? Hoe Shmoes
[51] Stand Back! It's the MODEM MAFIA! Chal e. Mac
[52] The Lump from the Dump Visioknight
[53] Satisfaction The Chickenlord
[54] Excuse Me, Could You Remove Your Steatopygous? Mogel
[55] I Object! : The Introduction to Being a Lawyer Charlie
[56] The Sandwich Black Francis
[57] A Vampire's Thoughts Vampire
[58] The Smile That Couldn't Have Been Forgotten Mogel
[59] Santa Claus Must Die! The Chickenlord
[60] HOE-DATE #3 Mogel
[61] True Stories from Pathological Liars Alex Swain
[62] My Application to [NAME OF COLLEGE HERE] Thanatos
[63] Everything Inbetween IM2K4U2C
[64] Take a Wiz, Make me Jiz Mogel
[65] My BA in Attitude DisordeR
[66] Life and the IRC Log Dash
[67] So This is How it Ends for Us? Abigwar
[68] About Nothin' Spiff
[69] Why Information Must be Free Mr. Sandman
[70] The Massive ELiTE! Interview Mogel
[71] Biff Redneck Goes to the Big City Sed
[72] There's Pain in There Mogel
[73] Ripping & Screaming Your Way to a Better You KidKnee
[74] The Great CyberSpace Coaster Chat Board Caper IM2K4U2C
[75] Cockroach Assault Alex Seigel
[76] Home and Garden M0rpheus
[77] The Other Side of the Mirror Black Sunshine
[78] The Oedipus Complex in Modern Day Terms James Hetfield
[79] Behind the Mask The Stranger
[80] HOE-DATE #4 Mogel
=------------=-----------------------=------------------------=---------------=
| |
| ...Goat Blowers Anonymous Plug... |
| |
=------------=-----------------------=------------------------=---------------=
Billy couldn't fight the feeling anymore. It was simply too much to ignore.
He had to indulge. That was the day he found old Ben. This was no cow. This
was no pig. This was no horse. It was goat. Pure, untamed, and beautiful.
PET NO MORE.
No, he just couldn't resist. It was just too much temptation. It was the
beginning and the end of his life at the same time. Billy found his way to...
.---------------------------------------------------------------------.
| G O A T B L O W E R S A N O N Y M O U S |
`---------------------------------------------------------------------'
"Admitting you have a problem is the first step to recovery."
BLAMMO!!
baa! 215/750+0392
)_) /
((______/ ''\ ...and so Billy found a new inner peace...
| /--< One with people just like him.
|||---||| The problem? The Goat.
M M M M The solution? Text. A lot of it.
Come join the Barnyard Revolution!
The largest t-file and 'zine support board in Pennsylvania!
SysOp: Black Francis / Co's: Mogel and Spiff / Mascot: God(+dd)
zines / t-files / demos / virii / bbs support / programming / sound
________________________
/ The pHuCKin' wErLd \
| h3dqErTeRz pHoR... |
.----------------------|----------------------------|----------------------.
| _ _ |
| _____ The Hogs of Entropy ((___)) |
| 6/ HOE ^..^ [ x x ] |
| \_____(oo) People in Society Suck \ / |
| WW WW (' ') |
| OINK YOU! rEaLLy ELyTe d00dz (U) .ooM |
| |
`----------------------------, .-----------------------------'
__________________________| |___________________________
/ \
| Goat Blowers Anonymous is funded by *ALL* the following groups: |
| |
| cult of the dead cow / vaginal and anal secretions / ganja magazine |
| brotherhood of gods and retards / fucked up college kids / image writing |
| m00se illuminatus / arrogant couriers wiff essays / immortal programming |
| underground experts united / state of unbeing / big fat load 'o t-files |
| greeny world domination / milk and tea / computer abuse force / bonsainet |
| misfits inc / k-rad net / cia member board / every good zine on the map |
| "It's not just a board - It's an experience!" |
\_________________________________________________________________________/
______________________________________________________________________________
(c) Copyright HoE Publications 1995. All rights reserved.
The Moral of this Text File? Mogel is an asshole. Don't you lub him for it?
-EOF
