Copy Link
Add to Bookmark
Report
The Hogs of Entropy 0035
______ ______ ______________
| | | | \ |
\ / \ / ____ \ ______|
| |________| | / \ | |____
| ________ | ( {} ) | _____)
/~~~~~~~~~~~ | | | | \____/ | |______ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~\
| |~~~~~~~ / \ / \ / | ~~~~~~~~~| |
| | |______| |______| /_____________| | |
| | | |
| | Hogs of Entropy Text Files Present... | |
| | | |
| | | |
| | "Bob the Prophet" | |
| | | |
| | | |
| | By: Logik | |
| | | |
\ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ /
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*****************************************************************************
To put it every simply.... this is a strange story with a hidden meaning.
Not that the hidden meaning means all that much anyway, but I was REALLY
bored so I figured I'd write something. This is what came of that. Enjoy.
*****************************************************************************
It was a normal day. People going where they had to go. The earth
turned on its axis and once again I woke to a new day. The sun was shining
and it was a comfortable, yet muggy 75 degrees. After I shut off my Mickey
Mouse alarm I rose to my feet and looked out the window.
"What a nice day", I thought. Well, I just had to go about my day.
First, I made my bed. Then I took a shower...I have to be clean. Anyhow, I
took my shower then dried off, got dressed, brushed my teeth, ate breakfast,
then brushed my teeth again. Its always like that. In the same order too. I
don't like being disorganized. After breakfast I noticed I was out of milk
("AHHHHHH!!!").
So off to ACME I went. I only shop at ACME. They always have the
best prices, well, that's what they say on T.V. at least. I grabbed my
wallet and headed down the concrete stairs onto the black top below. Off I
went. When I arrived, after my five block trot, I went inside. As soon as
I entered the door I stopped to look around.
Everything seemed pretty normal. There was an old woman arguing with
the cashier over the price of toilet paper. In the distance, two kids ran
in circles, as if they could fly. I've always thought that was fun. However,
soon their mother yelled at them to stop. The chatter of a million voices
filled the air. Talking about this and that. "Isn't he sooooo cute?", "Did
you see Mattock last night?", "All I did was hit him with the car", yeah,
everything was normal.
Everything expect for this guy in the "Fresh Fruit" section. For the
most part he looked ordinary. He wasn't tall, he wasn't short. He had light
brown hair and a neat little corduroy hat on. He looked like the math
teacher everyone has at least once in their life. Still, I could tell there
was something special about him. So, I thought about it for a moment...Did I
see him on America's Most Wanted? No, guys on there are much more hairy. Did
he guest host the Tonight Show? No, I would have noticed that (anything is
better then Jay Leno). I just couldn't think of anything. I guess it really
didn't strike me.
That was until he shook that melon. My chin hit to the floor. As
quickly as I could I dropped the coupons I picked up on the way in and ran
over to the man. The song "Help me Rhonda" played over the intercom.
Occasionally being interrupted by a muffled voice telling us of a sale in
isle seven. When I finally reached him I only had one thing on my mind.
"Hello, are you God?", I asked in a simple yet quiet tone. He looked
at me with his bean like eyes and said, "Well, no. My name is Bob, but we
are ALL God's children". Then he very simply put down the melon, gave me a
small smile, and walked away. I picked up the fruit he was holding in his
hands and stared at the Weekly World News at the check out counter. What
struck me most about this mysterious man was his eyes. I could see the
glaze that was given to him by wisdom and pain. Or maybe it was just
contacts. In any case, I knew who I had just shared words with. I just
couldn't believe it. I met the son of God. Everything that I was taught as
a child came back to me. "Have Faith, He will come to save us one day, Eat
your vegetables". It had all become clear. I new what I had to do.
Just as quickly as before, I dropped the melon and ran over to Bob.
I grabbed him by his shoulders and spun him to face me. I looked deeply into
those mud colored eyes and asked him, "Bob, what is the meaning of life?"
For a moment he said nothing. He just gave me a blank stare, almost as if
there was something else on his mind. Soon, however, he turned and picked up
a tomato. Then I heard the most amazing, thought provoking, words a human
was ever privileged enough to hear.
"Don't you hate it when you get a bruised tomato?". That put it all
into perspective for me. A new door of light had been opened. Everything
now has a meaning. It's all laid out before me. No longer would I search the
dark corners of my mind, or Sunday morning television for answers. I was
told. Life is like a tomato. Sometimes it gets bruised. You don't have to
like it, but you have to deal with what you have. Bob is the smartest man
the world has ever seen. I'm not quite sure how it happened, but the next
thing I remember there was a middle aged woman tapping on my back saying,
"Excuse me sir, could you hand me the third tomato from the right?" Of
course I did what the woman asked. Still, I was focused more on what
happened to Bob. He was no where to be found. It was as if he disappeared.
After that all I could do was buy a jar of pickles and go home.
From that day forth I have worshipped Bob. I never did see him again
though. That's okay. I go around telling all my friends the same story I
have just told you. I have just started up a church called B.O.B (Believe
in Only Bob). We have one hundred members and are growing quickly. Soon,
Bob will be more honored then Christ. Bob is our savior. I love Bob, and so
shall you.
(If you can't figure out what the moral of this story then
you are exactly what I wrote it about; mindless people.)
*****************************************************************************
Quick shout outs (why are these things always here?):
Mogel: Since you're writing for Image I thought I'd give ya this. urbob.
JB: So, how do ya like the new version?
Logik: Hey, that's me (sorry, I like to see my name :)
All HOE writers: I love your stuff. Keep up the good work!
Uhm.... I think that's it. Check ya'll later!
*****************************************************************************
Serendipity, BaBiE!
|=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=|=-=-=-=|=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=|
| Mogel-Land........2157323413 /I'm a PiG\ Paranoia Subnormal.2153395831 |
| Hacker Crackdown..2159451907 |H )\@_@/( P| Stellar Nights.....6108969140 |
| T.E.K.A.T.........9088132738 |o ( (o) ) i| phunkyphatphreashphunkphunk!! |
| I Forget..........6105448001 |G <_O_> G| the NEXT generation |
| /<RaD-/<-/< House.8103480421 |s BuUuRP! s| of stoopid... |
| The Complex.......4107205305 \I'm a PiG/ |
|=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=|=-=-=-=|=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=|
Copyright (c) 1994 HoE Publications and Logik #35 --> 12/09/94
All rights Reserved.
