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The Hogs of Entropy 0018
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| | Hogs of Entropy Text Files Present... | |
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| | "Random Spam" | |
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| | By: Zorro | |
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Hi, I am a vibrator.
I like Energizer batteries, 'cause they last a loooong time.
Not like those other batteries, they are so funny, they
kill me...literally.
Doctor: Open up...
Sally Struthers: What are YOU doing?
Doctor: I'm performing brain surgery...
Doctor: AND I am studying for my ICS home economics degree!
Sally Struthers: See how easy it is to study at home or work fot that career
you always wanted!?
Doctor: Nurse Pass me the vinegar..ooops.. I mean tweezer.
This Genuine Sheet of paper is made of 100% oak! Its strong wooden frame
makes it great for those hard to remember thoughts... With its bleach
varnish, and colorful blue and white stripe design, who could resist it..
How much would you pay for this? 10 dollars? 15 Dollars? Well today, for the
first 100 callers, we will give you the wood, we give you the stripes, and
an extra paper for only one cent more, all for 2 dollars.. call now!
"Call the Shit Smells BBS"
-Why?
"Cause there are a lot of people in california!"
[Enter your name here]: I have been thinking about getting an std from my
girlfriend...
Dr. Sbaitso: Do you think your girlfriend wants an STD?
[Enter your name here]: No... I am afraid of getting one from her!
Dr. Sbaitso: How do you know she will want to give you one?
[Enter your name here]: I am afraid that my girlfriend is having sex with
other boys, and maybe girls, so I worried that she
will give me the std when we have sex!
Dr. Sbaitso: Do you know you can change my colors?
My cat got hit by a car, but he got even...
Eww!!
[Suppressed evidence from the OJ simpson case revealed!]
-911 Emergeny phone Call-
NS: "This is Nicole! My husband is going to kill me, He is OJ Simpson!"
911: "Do you mean THE o.j. simpson? The football player?"
NS: "Yeah thats him, he is going to kill me!"
911: "The actor?? And the party animal?? and the life blood of the hawain
tropic contest?"
NS: "Yes already, now get someone down here already! OJ STOP! Ahhh!!!
911: "Do you think I could get his autograph?"
...[Blood]
Urethra! I've got it! - Christina 'Bundy'
"You have reached the Micheal Jackson Fan Club toll free number!
Press ONE if you are under 12, TWO if I have run you over, THREE
if you are a disgruntled employee who will sue me, and FOUR if
we just feigned a love affair...if you don't have a touch tone
keyboard, hold for an operator..."
"Yes.. hello? Micheal Jackson Fan Club..."
"My name is Genifer Flowers, Genifer, with a 'G'!"
...[Click]
"There are many volcanic eruptions in near oceanic areas in the world!"
-Why?
"Because there are many people in california!"
[1800ABCDEFG]
Bill: "Yes, this is, errr this is William Jefferson...."
Op: "Okay, and which one of our products will you be ordering today, sir?
Bill: "...Learn to read k-12..."
Op: "...and your mailing address?"
Bill: "Crap....<muffled> Hillary?!...um...The White House."
Op: "Just exactly how stupid do you think I am?"
Bill: "Damnit woman, I am the president of this nation and I can't read, and
I think it's holding me back in my job carreer! Plus, I have to get
Hillary to read me everything.. how do you think she gets what she
wants? Why is SHE on a 'READ' poster, I am not?"
...[Click]
Bill: "Whose the world leader here, you or me? Shit they hung up! Hillary,
what does this say?"
"Live from Maine, it's Weekday Nights Live! We
now join Weekday Update now in progress..."
"Today it was revealed that Maine has a 1.5% minority rate per capita...
In a related story, a new study shows that during the rise of the KKK,
Maine had the highest number of members...Which once again proves my
theory, 'Maine loves neo-naziism'!"
"Mommy mommy, I want an Ito Pet!!!"
Thats right moms, your kids want this unique judge Ito Chia pets
HEY CONAN, GO BABY JO JO, GO!!!!
"Have you no shame???"
"What? of course I do, I have my guards look out for Hillary!"
A topless woman on the NYC subway mugged a guardian angel...she whacked him
with her bosom and knocked him unconcious.
President Cilinton - brings new meaning to the word "DICKtaphone"
Treat your genitals as you would want them to treat you!
Next on public radio...CLICK
I want to be a clergy ranger,
living the life of sex and danger!
Excuse me, sir... but are YOU looking for a mate? Well trained, eats at
regular hours, will trade cigarette's for sex? Well now the Globe has it for
you. I am sure you have wondered, "Who reads those tabloids".. well now we
have it for you...take this girl for example:
"CORRECTIONAL INSTITUTE INMATE
Innocent redhead, wrongly convicted of crime.
You won't mysteriously disappear like my other husbands.
Willing to relocate.
Release date coming up soon!
Age, looks, personality not important.
Send bank records.."
Now, couldn't YOU just DIE to meet this eligible woman?
As pete rubbed his keyboards faster and faster,
the caps lock and scroll lock light flickered,
as fast as emergency strobe light traveling through town.
Professor jauntis is making a k-rad bomb...
BOOM
Oops..
What do you say if the devil sneezes...?
Yan can cook, but he can't speak.
[failed slogans from different products]
"It's shake and fake, and I helped!"
"Sham burger! Hamburger!
Tastes like a sham,
Imitates Spam!
Shamburger Hamburger!"
Things that you DON'T want to see on a fortune cookie:
-The chef didnt wash his hands.
-You will have gastrointestinal problems during your next date
-Dont sleep with --> she has an std
-You are turning into a warez d00d
-Its not a rash, its crabs
They are going to take me away HAHA!
YES YOU!
Tornado warning alert, danger to our viewing area,
Story at 11PM
"Cleopatra...she could satisfy 10 woman, 12 men, and a Mogel."
Doctor- I am sorry, you have multiple personality disorder
it seems that after watching so many episodes of 3 stoogers,
you have them imprinted in your head.
Patient- Oh no!
Patient- You stoopid dimwit!
Patient- Ouch!
Patient- Take that! [Bonk]
Patient- I'll show you!
Patient- Boing
Feminist hitlist:
1 Hieugh Hefner
2 Bill Clinton
3 Mike Hunt
This is the super duper end of a super duper babble by your super duper host!
Greetz: Dwenlar... you still suck, and I am not kidding!
Mogel... your name is linked to 'frog' in my word associations.
Vash...Hash
zippie and zotto, your the greatest
Zen.. you st0000pid moron, not that I hate u or anything
cDc.. I am writing a story about my imaginary dead cat for you
VaS.. can I have some
Ascii Express - hold...
Dark Plubber... hi.
Spiff, your fun
Cindy/Vixen..love ya...we all do...really!
|=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=|=-=-=-=|=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=|
| Mogel-Land.[Home].2157323413 / \ Paranoia Subnormal.2153395831 |
| Hacker Crackdown..2159451907 | )\._./( | Stellar Nights.....6108969140 |
| T.E.K.A.T.........9088132738 | ( (o) ) | |
| Mary Jane's.......2164616162 | <_U_> | the NEXT generation |
| /<RaD-/<-/< House.8103480421 | BuUuRP! | of stoopid... |
| Twisted Reality...6104590598 \ / |
|=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=|=-=-=-=|=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=|
Copyright (c) 1994 HoE Publications and Zorro #18 --> 10/31/94
All Rights are very confused...
