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The Hidden Obvious 033
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THO #33
Pansy Anarchist's Cookbook
By:
Pip the Angry Youth
So, you're in your early to mid-teens and have nothing to do with your
life other than read text files to see if you can vent your unfounded
anger at the world. Well, HERE'S YOUR CHANCE!!! THO is pround to bring
you the Pansy Anarchist's Cookbook written by none other than me. In this
file, you'll learn how to raise pointless chaos, and get away with it. I
think you'll love this...
V0LCAN0 0F D00M
So you are sitting in your suburban home with nothing better to do...
so you decide to cause just a little bit of havoc in your house (or
better yet, in someone else's house). That's why I have decided to
share my recipie for the V0LCAN0 0F D00M with you, it has provided me
with countless hours of fun and frolic.
For the V0LCAN0 0F D00M you'll need:
¯ 1 pound of baking soda.
¯ 2 gallons of vinegar
¯ a sink
HERE'S WHAT Y0U D0:
Make sure no one is looking and pour the baking soda into the sink,
this should be easy enough for you. Next pour ALL of the vinegar into
your sink and back away!!!! BLAMM0! Your sink is instantly THE V0LCAN0
0F D00M!!!
H0W T0 GR0W GRASS LEGALLY
Bored? Tired of paying $10 for and ounce of pot? Now you can grow
your own special brand of Mary Jane in your home, and N0T GET CAUGHT!!!
To GR0W GRASS LEGALLY, you'll need:
¯ Dirt
¯ Water
¯ A pie pan
¯ Miracle Gro
¯ And finally grass seed
HERE'S WHAT Y0U D0:
Put the dirt into the pan and level it off. Next you put little
ditches in the dirt and put the grass seed into the little ditches. You
now level the dirt once again so that the seeds are covered up. Put
S0ME of the water into the pan (D0N'T FL00D IT!). Leave the pan in the
sunlight and in 3 to 5 days you'll see the grass start pushing up out of
the soil. You can even do this in your front lawn and the cops will go
right by your house without even knowing!!!
IF Y0U CAN'T FIND GRASS SEED NEAR Y0UR H0USE:
If you can't find grass seed near your house then goto the local
hardware store and ask the clerk for it. Don't snicker or laugh when
you do this because they may think that something is 'up'.
H0W T0 MAKE A YUMMY SNACK
A pansy anarchist gets hungry while causing their own form of chaos. This
is why I am releasing my very own favorite recipie for on the go snacking.
You can make this using ingredients found all over mom's kitchen. Little
does she know that she's helping you with your chaos.
T0 MAKE A YUMMY SNACK, you'll need:
¯ 1 cup of butter or margarine, softened
¯ 1 cup of granulated sugar
¯ 1/2 cup brown sugar, firmly packed
¯ 2 eggs
¯ 1 and 1/2 teaspoons vanilla
¯ 2 and 1/4 cups of flour
¯ 1 teaspoon of baking soda
¯ 1/2 teaspoon of salt
¯ 12 oz of semi-sweet chocolate chips
¯ 1 cup of chopped nuts (optional)
HERE'S WHAT Y0U D0:
Beat butter and sugars together until fluffy. Beat in eggs, one at a
time; stir in vanilla. Gradually stir in flour, baking soda and salt.
Add chocolate chips and nuts (add 'em if you got 'em!) Drop mixture by
teaspoonfills onto lightly greased cookie sheets. Beak in preheated
375øF oven for eight to ten minutes until golden brown. This recipie
makes about a dozen snack units.
ARIAL B0MBS
Are you uncreative??? Then this is exactly the kind of anarchy for
you! You don't have to think, just throw this little puppies. The
effect that they have during impact is quite enough to give you a
stiffie.
For ARIAL B0MBS, you'll need:
¯ 0ne dozen eggs
¯ An arm
HERE'S WHAT Y0U D0:
Take one egg in your hand and lob it at any target (cars, people,
7-11's, police...). SPLAT! Instant anarchy where ever you go.
=--------------------------------------------------------------------------=
And with that, there's the end of yet another THO file... I hope that
you enjoyed it. In the next issue you'll see a whole bunch of letters
that (hopefully) will be coherent enough for you to understand and get
something out of :)
=-------------------------------------------------------------------------=
aND NoW a WoRD FRoM ouR SPoNSoRS...
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