The Hidden Obvious 023

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The Hidden Obvious

 · 5 years ago

  

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  Hey there!!!!  In this issue of THO we shall discuss the 10 
  commandments of TEXT WRITING!!!  Yes folks, we need to tell you how 
  and what you should write about because you, an aspireing young text 
  writer, don't really know what to do with yourself and need a little 
  guidance.  With each commandment is a side comment that tells you what 
  it really really means. 

 
  THE TEN COMMANDMENTS OF TEXT FILE WRITING 

  1)  Thou shalt not write about yourself, your life, or anything that 
      has happened to you (unless it's extroidinarily funny) for no one 
      wants to hear about you. 

      [Don't write about anything to do with you because modeming is not 
      there to have you use it to share your feelings.  You can't hide 
      it for long if one of your texts are a 'diary' because once 
      someone reads it (at least the first paragraph) they shall wisely 
      warn the others so that they can avoid the torture of your pitiful 
      life.  A friend of mine, let's call him Rehtnap, started his own 
      text group just so that he could write and tell everyone how he 
      feels (it's ok to get in contact with yourself, just don't do it 
      in public) and tried to disguise it by calling it "Feelin' the 
      Effects', once everyone was warned the Tfile wasn't d/led more 
      than three times.] 

  2)  Thou shalt write with great grammer and spelling. 

      [Even the smartest Geek can make himself look like an asshole by 
      breaking this commandment.] 

  3)  Thou shalt write humorously or informatively or not write at all. 

      [Have you ever enjoyed a TXT file that didn't make you laugh or 
      tell you something that you wanted to know???  I didn't think so.] 

  4)  Thou shalt write only after sacrificing a bag full of kittens. 

      [Don't ask me about this one, but it definitely works for me.] 

  5)  Thou shalt write in HARD text. 

      [This text file is in hard text.  Soft text is the kind that just 
      scribbles across the bottom of your screen without any carriage 
      returns.  Isn't that annoying???  You can fix that tho by going 
      into dos editor and saving the file again.] 

  6)  Thou shalt write about something that you have some first hand 
      knowledge about. 

      [I hate the term, but I'll use it anyway.  LAMER!!!  You only make 
      yourself a fool by writing about something that you have no idea 
      how to do it.  Let's say that someone called Noisuf wrote about 
      Gnikaerhp, one of the more illegal things to do.  Noisuf has no 
      idea what the hell he's talking about, but he calls it Gnikaerhp 
      none the less.  Noisuf makes himself out to be an idiot rather 
      quickly when asked a question on the subject, but instead of 
      replying intelliginetly he decides to flame someone because of his 
      lack of knowledge.  I wish I could hit people like that.] 

  7)  Thou shalt write only with neat ASCII headers. 

      [Nice headers a text file doesn't make, but they make a text 
      really neat looking on the intro.  Now if you can get an ANSI 
      screen to come up without it pausing with the -- More -- in the 
      middle of it, then you qualify as cool in my book.  It's hard as 
      hell!] 

  8)  Thou shalt write with thine own words. 

      [Ripping off someone else's text is really really pathetic.  Make 
      something by yourself and you'll be much happier that you'd 
      normally be, and you can't get caught for it.] 

  9)  Thou shalt write with a disclaimer if nessesary. 

      [If you make a text about something illegal, then you really 
      should make a little disclaimer stating that the Tfile is for 
      entertainment and informative uses only.  Otherwise you could get 
      into a little tangle with the men in blue if some kid blows his 
      face off with an explosive you told him how to make.] 

  10) Thou shalt write and spread your text around to as many boards as 
      you are able. 

      [Your writings won't be known by anyone unless you spread it 
      around as much as you possibly can.  What's the point of uploading 
      it to a board if that's the only board that you can get your hands 
      on it?  Let your word be HEARD!]