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The Game Review Issue 51

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The Game Review
 · 5 years ago

  

.x#$$#x.
`:$$$$:' The Game Review!
.x%#$$$$$$#%x. .x#$$$$#x. .x#$$$#x.
`""""$$$$""""' .S$$$$$$$$S.$$$$$$$$$Ss
$$$$.sS$Ss.$$$$ $$$$$`$$$$ $$$$$
$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$',$$$$
$$$$$$$$$$$ """"`$$$$ $$$$$$
$$$$$$$$$ sS$Ss."$$$ $$$$$$ pn
`-------------- $$$$$$$$$$$ ------------'
$$$$$$$$'`

~VOTED #1 SCENE MAG/REVIEW BY INTERNET USERS~
~TGR IS PROUD TO BE THE LONGEST RUNNING WEEKLY SCENE MAG/REVIEW, EVER!~
~~CELEBRATING OVER *1* YEAR IN THE SCENE~~

.a$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$&$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$&$$$$$a.
$$' . `$$' `$$ ' `$$' s `$$' s `$$
$' $ $$ $ $$ a a $$ $ $$ $ $$ ISSUE #51
$ $ssss$$ $ $$ $ $ $$ $ $$ $ssss$$
$ o o$ $$ $ $ $$ sssss$$ssss. $$ 03/25/97
$. $ $$ $ $$ $ $ $$ $ $$ $ $$
$$. $ ,$$ $ $$ $ $ $$. $ ,$$. $ ,$$
`$&@%o%@&$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$&@%o%@&$$$$&@%o%@&hd'

"
All the games that are fit to print...and some that aren't."

Un-Realistic: "
I have never played a game I didn't like." -Stupid Idiot
Realistic : "
This game sucks!" -Ionizer

____________
News Updates
============
-Please note: TGR WILL *NOT* BE OUT NEXT SUNDAY. (3/30/97)
-In the making: Another parody!
-You should be advised and forewarned, that it's possible this is the last
TGR I ever write. I'm going to have a job soon and I don't know if time
will permit for this.

============================================
HOW TO GET THIS MAGAZINE ON A REGULAR BASIS:
============================================
TGR is released on Sundays, at approximately 8pm (EST). It can be obtained
in 4 different ways. They are listed in order as first=best method:

#1 TGR Web Page: http://tgr.clever.net
(Over 69,000 Served) (Note: Contains all issues and gets 'em 1st)
(Go to http://ns2.clever.net/~ionizer if you're using lynx.)

#2 *NEW* Mailing list:
-WE HAVE A MAILING LIST!!! Here's how you subscribe, it's a simple 2 steps:
(1) Email list-tgr-request@sparky.klingon.com
(2) Write the word "
subscribe" at the beginning of any line.
-When the next TGR comes out, you will receive it in the mail, and will
continue to receive them without having to do anything.
-If you wish to unsubscribe, simply email the same address with the
word "
unsubscribe" at the beginning of any line.

#3 Through irc, you can dcc from me the newest issue only, simply type:
/msg ionizer xdcc send #1 OR /msg iondcc xdcc list <to see list>
On the day of release (Sunday), you may also use IonDcc instead of me.

#4 Other magazines are free to use TGR in their magz. Simply notify me about
it first. Currently, Defacto2 has a special monthly edition of TGR and
Anemia contains TGR.

******YES, WE NOW HAVE A MAILING LIST******
===========================================

- * - * - * - * - *
* - * - * - * - * -

GAME REVIEWS, RATINGS, UN-BIASED OPINIONS, HELP/TIPS FOR INSTALLING GAMES!
[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

-Rating scale:
(0-19)/100 = In a nutshell, it sucked!
(20-39)/100 = Still crap but slightly better.
(40-49)/100 = Possibly worth downloading.
(50-69)/100 = Pretty decent game. Might want to check it out.
(70-79)/100 = Worth the download if you like that type.
(80-89)/100 = Very good, 9 outta 10 its worth the download.
(90-99)/100 = Excellent game, a MUST download.
100/100 = HOLY SHIT I'VE NEVER SEEN A BETTER GAME!

RATINGS are based on the game idea, graphics, sound, playability, ingenuity,
versatility, and a lot of other words ending in `ity'. These games are based
on what happens on MY COMPUTER ONLY, unless stated otherwise. I always first
follow .nfo directions, and if those don't work or are not available, I then
try other ways. So just b/c it doesn't work for me, doesn't mean it won't
work for you.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
-<*><*> THE GAME REVIEW <*><*>-
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
-Please note: TGR WILL *NOT* BE OUT NEXT SUNDAY.

________ __
_________ ________ ____\ ___ _
/ ______/\____ _ \ /_\ \
/ /___ _ _\_ =) ) / ' )
/_____/ \______/____)_ /
[:::::/_________)-97__ _ ______/:::::]
pRESENTs
--------
Football Limited - [XX/03]
[::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::]
-Filenames: GDWFLTD?.ZIP
Here's a story, of a real dumb game, released by Goddamn Warez. It loaded up
to the main screen, and played some muuuuuuusic. Here's the story, of a guy
named Ionizer, who tried to review games for fun. Then the one day Ionizer
tried to review this, and he got really fucking pissed...b/c the stupid game
just played loud music. Yeah, uh, anyway, it just loads up the main title
screen and lets you move your mouse around, but absolutely no keys or mouse
buttons do anything, and it just stays there. Supposed to be some lame ass
soccer manager.
RATING: NA/100

_ ____._.____. . . __._.____.
| \|`ú. .ú'| / _ \
__/\__| |_____| | | | \_ |_____|
\ oO /| | | : | | : | /____ \
/_ -_\| : | | Ý | | Ý | / | \
\/ | Ý | | : : : : |/ | /
.----| : : | `"
' |\ | /---.
| -' |___: `---------' \________/ : |
|------------------- --- -- - ---- ---'
|----°-+%: rAVENsOFT 1997 :%+----°----|
| |
| FLIGHT ACTION ..... |
| (c) AxIsIm SOftWheAR [01/01] |
`---------------------------------------'
-Filenames: RVS-FA.ZIP
Well this is just another shitty game. It's a really cheap, bad, flight sim,
with terrible everything, gfx, sfx, control. It just fucking sucks. It's not
even worth the 3 lines of review it's receiving.
RATING: 18/100

------- ------- [x/4]
\___ / \ __ /
/ / \ \
/ /__ __\ \
/______\/_____ \
Zillions Presents
Swing Maker
-Filenames: ZZ-SWNG?.ZIP
This isn't even a game. It's more like a screen saver for windows. All it
does is show the movement of the body for the `perfect' golf swing. You don't
control anything, you just watch this silver-ish looking figure swing over and
over. Quite a waste of time, and quite boring.
RATING: 12/100

Kick Off '97 *MINIMAL* (c) Anco [?/4]
___________________________________
/.: __/ __ .\. __ \. __ \. /_ ___/
// /.:|: / /: > \: > \; / \ -/.:\
\______|____/______/_____/_____/_____/
-Filenames: GOBKO97?.ZIP
Wow, this sure is minimized. They took out all the backgrounds and pictures
of the buttons of the icons you push. See review #50 for the review of the
game. This is just to let you know it's been ripped severely, no sound, the
menus are kinda like guessing at where the buttons are. But if you want the
game and don't have the room, go for it.
RATING: 44/100

Koala Lumpur: Jorney to the Edge
or Win95 and Win 3.X [XX/10]
___ _________ ___
\__ \ | \_ ____/____
/ \ | _ / / /__.
ú./ \| \\_ / _/ ³____/
ú( \ \_ _\ |____
..\____³ //__ /___ //..
þ========|___/==|_/====|____/====þ
þ þ
þ=======[ NJC ]========þ
-Filenames: NJC-KL??.ZIP
It's bad enough that they didn't mention this was a FUCKING DEMO, but it's
even worse when the demo itself doesn't even setup right, and that there's
two fucking .mov files and all they do is play sound, not even animation.
So this was not only a complete waste of time, but I was so pissed I didn't
get to see any cute, adorable, cuddly, little, koala bears that I could beat
the fucking living shit out of.
RATING: NA/100

*RIVER RUN WITH FLIGHT PRO*
For DOS/Win31/95
[03/03]
.----.---.--.---..-..--.-----.
.: .__/ (c) ; .__\ \ : -:.
.::.-. \ . |. .--\. : :::.
.:::.___/___:____:.__/_\__::__.:::.
{--------------------=ChAoS=-------}
-Filenames: SC-RUN?.ZIP
Sorry, we here at TGR do not review games containing the MAJOR.1644 virus.
RATING: VIRUS/100

______ __
.:% \_ \ /\ /\__ / \ %%:..
.::%%%| | / / \/ __ /____\%%%::...
..:%%%| \/ __ \ / \ %%%:...
.:::%%| \ \ \__/ \ %%::..
<--[RaGe97]--------------------------->

Harm Weapons Systems Trainer Beta 3

<================================[xx/05]>
-Filenames: RGHARM?.ZIP
Once again, another release that really isn't a game. This is some kind of
training for people who want to fly planes in the army or something. It tells
you what certain controls do and shit like that, but it's not really a game.
It's really boring, don't bother.
RATING: 16/100

Test Drive: Off-Road (c) Accolade [13/13]
/\______ /\______ ____/\______ __
\____ \/ \__ \/ _ \____ \ __/ \____ GUEST REVIEW
/ _/ _/ \/ / / / _/ _// / / / / / COURTESY OF:
/ \ \ /\ / /\ / / \ \/ /\ / / / EDGE
\__/\ \/RTX______\___/\__/\ \/ / /_/_/
=====\___)===\__)============\___)=\/=======
-Filenames: TDORZR??.ZIP
Editor's note: It crashed on me, so here's a nutshell review:
"Ok started this game up and immediately it tells me it has eaten up memory,
kinda scared me for a sec. Then I got to the startup screen, very easy to
configure and a nice setup. Then you get to choose between a hummer, a jeep,
a landrover, or a chevy truck (pick the hummer). Then like any racing game,
starting line and GO!! Cool sounds and good graphics. Recommended to
racing fanatics. Only downfall: I wish there were more cars and trucks to
choose from."


MDK (c) Playmates/Shiny Ent. [58/58]
\____ \/ \__ \/ _ \____ \ __/ \____ MULTIPLE GUEST
/ _/ _/ \/ / / / _/ _// / / / / / REVIEWS COURTESY
/ \ \ /\ / /\ / / \ \/ /\ / / / OF: PRAETOR,
\__/\ \/RTX______\___/\__/\ \/ / /_/_/ REDFOX & LUNATIC
=====\___)===\__)============\___)=\/=======
-Filenames: MDK??.ZIP
Yaaaaa knooooow, I fucking downloaded 58 disks, then had the game tell me
that my computer (486) was too shitty to run it anyway. Like I need a game
to tell me that I can't run it (Ack, hold on, this dos editor is lagging my
machine...just kidding!). Anyway, b/c of this, I'm going to present you with
several reviews of the game. Why not just one? B/c it's a "big title" and I
don't trust just 1 person's opinion. Oh, and I included each person's rating.

"This long anticpated game is well worth the download even though it is 58
disks. The reason it is so big is because Razor knew it was a long awaited
game so they left most of the game/sound/animations in tact. Most of the
game is there. This is a 3D adventure game. The basic object is to walk
around and blow shit up that the computer tells you to do. This game
requires VESA 2.0 drivers installed, so if the game plays in infared, thats
why. This game also supports 3D video boards, but still looks fantastic with
out them. I recommend a p-100 to have it run smoothly. 87/100"


"At First, i was psyched to play the game after all the hype it got...but it
was kinda dissapointing. It sounds cool, a game with no point just running
around killing, how fun. But, it was mildly entertaining and then it got
pointless. With no point, but to run and kill. It got boring, no new
enemies. All the enemies are some dumb robots that are easy to kill. So I
give this game a 60/100 because it was not worth my time d/l and installing
and wasted space and caused me to delete programs to make room."


"MDK (which stands for different things depending on the day, according to
Shiny's web site) utilizes a 3rd-person view (ala Tomb Raider), and runs
very nicely on my p100 w 32 meg. It can best be described as a shooting/
puzzle game, you run around shooting robots (who wave goodbye to transports
that drop them off, cower on the ground with their heads under their hands,
and put their hands up after you shoot them a bit), opening doors, and blow-
ing up more robots. The best part of it is the sniper mode, where you can
zoom in and shoot robots in the head :) There are a variety of amusing pick-
ups, including the worlds most interesting bomb (enemies stop shooting you
and stand around it, then all get killed when it explodes), and a dummy decoy
(with a picture of you with a clowns head). Definitely worth the 58 disk
download, would be better if Razor hadn't taken out mdk95.exe (the win95
executable). Probably too hard for them to crack."


Campaign (c) Empire Interactive [xx/01]
________)\______)\_____________)\______)\
\\__ | _/ _ _/ | _/ __/ _ /
/ | \ | \ | \ __ \ /__/_
/ . \_ . \_ | \ | \_ | \
\___| /_| /__ /___ /__ \
-====|____/==|____/==|___/===|___/==|_____/
Havoc97
-Filenames: HVCCAMP.ZIP
Top one signs that the game your playing is really old and shitty:
(1) It still prompts you for (V)ga, (E)ga, or (T)andy.
Yeah well this game just sucks. Shitty ass dos wargame. Suck suck suck, boy
does it suck. Holy fucking shit it sucks. It sucks so much, you'll never
need another blowjob. Don't bother.
RATING: 20/100



-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
<*> WIN '95 REVIEWS <*>
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
-Please note: TGR WILL *NOT* BE OUT NEXT SUNDAY.


THE $$ gg $$ $$Pg. j$"$c $$"""
::::: $$ $ $$ gg $$ $$ $$ $$ $$ :::::
$$ $ $$ $$ $$ $$ $$ $$ $$ggg
?$g$g$P $$ $$ $$ $$g$$ gg $$ mc
------------------- $$ gg $$ $$ $$ ---
Reviews from pAth0s... ?$g$P ?$g$P GR!

Accept No Substitutes!

If you can supply a BSD shell account, with some space, mail me. We'll talk
about what I can do for you.

!#! SEND ME MAIL NOW!! pathos@ns2.clever.net !#!

--- Testers System info ---
Hardware: p-90, 32M ram, 512k cache, Matrox Mystique 4M, Awe32, 17" ADI, EIDE
^--- Massive upgrading soon (MMX200mhz, ScsiUW,)
Software: Windows 95 OSR-2, DirectX-3.a, McAfee's Scan 3.0, Fprot-Pro v2.25
Configuration : 800x600 @ 24bit color, fat32, and all the latest drivers.

--- Ratings/Points System ---
100-90= LEECH IT OR DIE! 89-70= Check it
69-50= Ehh maybe 49-30= Prolly not
29-1= Peeee-Yooo 0= Don't Work
_____________________ ___________ _____________________

Gradius Deluxe (c) konami [x/3]

File Names: GRAD??.ZIP
Release Date 17 MAR 1997

Just a little sideways scroller shoot em up. Pretty much the same thing as all
the other ones.. Shoot the shit, collect powerups, etc..

Points: 65 -Blah, same shit, different day..

[][][][][][][][][][]

ENTOMBED (C) CHAOS CONCEPTS [x/5]
_/\_______ ____
\ ____\_____/\___/\________________/ __
| ___| _ | \_/ __ \ __ / __/ __\ ___
| \_____\_ _| __/ _ _/ _| \__ _____/
\______/ _/__/| | \__\ \_____/___/_____
+-------------eI|___|-----\___/-Express'97---

File Names: EXPENTM?.ZIP
Release Date: 19 MAR 1997

Hrmm.. An adventure puzzle game. Well, I guess I should say no adventure,
puzzle game. This is for win 3.11, but the .nfo says W95.. Anyway, this is
just a pretty dorky game. There's 2 puzzles in the first room that you have to
do. Who'd a thought it would take 15 minutes to turn on a light switch? And I
couldn't get passed the 2nd one to open the door. No matter, not missing much.
This was an actual, honest to god, disk based release, which was kinda cool,
but it still don't change the fact that pure puzzle games suck. I suppose if
you're remotely interested in those types of "
fuck with it till you figure it
out" types of games, then you could leech this, it's only 5 or 6 disks. For
the average gamer... Don't mess with it.

** POINTS: 50 -Blah who cares?

[][][][][][][][][][]

Rebel Moon Rising *FINAL* [1/5]
(c) Fenris Wolf / GT Interactive GUEST REVIEW
*** REQUIRES MMX CPU *** COURTESY OF:
_____ _____ ____ _____ ________________ ZEBCO
\_ | \ \/ / _ /__\_ \_/ _ \
| _ \_ \ _/ \ \ __/___/ | / /
|___| |____|___/ /_\ \___|_______/
::d|___|::::::.\___/.:.\___\::::::::::
-Filenames: HBD-RMR?.ZIP
Ok for starters I tested this game on a P200MMX with 64MB Ram and 4MB Matrox
Mystique. This game is "
supposed" to be a take off of dark forces, but it
isn't even close. First, even in 800X600 the graphics were choppy on my
system I turned them down a notch and they were accetable. For an mmx game
it should have been a lot smoother than it was, e.g POD was liquid smooth in
high-res. The levels in the game are very dark and dismal with no monsters to
shoot just a couple of robot towers and some little droids. After about 5
minutes of this game I was totally bored. In my opinion this is not worth the
download try the demo and you will see.

[][][][][][][][][][]

SCARAB (c) Electronic Arts [xx/32]
_/(._______________/(__ ,______________)\
\ . / ./ . \/. _____/ ____/
: /____/ __/ | .\ \ \
|, | \. .\--\__: .\\--' /---' /
\\_______/________/_____/___,/_____,/tx!

File Names: CLSSCB??.ZIP
Release Date: 20 MAR 1997

Yulp, the nfo says it all. Yet another 1st person shooter. ie: doom clone.
This one ain't entirely too bad, got super boring though, and I didn't really
understand what you were supposed to do either. Basically you're a robot, or
maybe a person inside a robot, and you blow the shit outta anything you see.
But, that was my problem, I only see one thing to blow up. Nothing really
fancy about this game, just your run of the mill clone. Ok, maybe it was
really all that bad. I mean the grafix were pretty good, but everything else
was shitty. No plot that I could see. There's plenty of other good stuff to
leech.

** Points: 67 -Nothing great about this one.

[][][][][][][][][][]

POD (c) UbiSoft [xx/19]
_/(._______________/(__ ,______________)\
\ . / ./ . \/. _____/ ____/
: /____/ __/ | .\ \ \
|, | \. .\--\__: .\\--' /---' /
\\_______/________/_____/___,/_____,/tx!

File Names: CLSPOD??.ZIP
Release Date: 21 MAR 1997

Hrmm.. 1st screen: You must install Indeo to play the video. (uhh yep.. got
indeo..) 2nd Screen: Black. Sits forever until you hit F4 then
ctrl-alt-delete. Then it dumps you back to windows.

** POINTS: 0 -Crrappacchheeennooohhh

[][][][][][][][][][]

Jack Nickalaus Golf 4 (c) Accolade [01/48]
\____ \/ \__ \/ _ \____ \ __/ \____
/ _/ _/ \/ / / / _/ _// / / / / /
/ \ \ /\ / /\ / / \ \/ /\ / / /
\__/\ \/RTX______\___/\__/\ \/ / /_/_/
=====\___)===\__)============\___)=\/=======

File Names: JNGOLF??.ZIP
Release Date: 22 MAR 1997

Wow. If you're into golf, this is the shit here. Probably the best looking go-
lf game I've seen. The grafix are just way cool. I'm not exactly sure what
more to say though, I think we all know what golf is.. You hit the little ball
into the little hole, and if it don't go, you scream and throw your clubs.
Well, I guess if we were in Happy's world. Unfortunately, we're in Jack's.
Jack's a little more civilized. I would've like to had some voice like in MS
golf, but the grafix make up for it. I mean, you can even see mist over the
ground. In order for this to work, you have to un-rar into C:\JNG and you have
to double click on the .reg file inside C:\JNG I'm not a big golf fan, so I'll
shut up. If *you* are, definately give this one a leech.

** Points: 84 -The grafix were outstanding for a golf game.

[][][][][][][][][][]

Space Station Simulator (c) Maxis [xx/23]
*NOTE: REQUIRES MMX*
. .
d$ Demented d$ Dimensions GUEST REVIEW
.$$$$$ýS@$s, .$$$$$ýS@$s, COURTESY OF:
`$$$$$ $$$$$ `$$$$$ $$$$$ ZEBCO
ö$$$$$ $$$$$ ö$$$$$ $$$$$
.$$$$$ $$$$$ .$$$$$ $$$$$
`$$$$$ $$$$$ `$$$$$ $$$$$ $$$
$$$$$ $$$$$ $$$$$ $$$$$ $$$
$$$$$s$$Yý'. $$$$$s$$Yý'd$$$
`ýY$$$$$$$$$S@ssssssssss@S$$Pý'
-Filenames: DD-STS??.ZIP
We had someone review this, and they said it didn't work:
"
I had a look at that space simulator MMX, no worky. I tried everything, you
hit setup choose english install and boom it exits. It doesn't install and
it won't run without installing."
RATING: NA/100

[][][][][][][][][][]

iM1A2 ABRAMS (c) INTERACTIVE MAGIC [XX/48]
______ /| ___ /\______ /\______
/ \/ | / _ \ / _____/ _____>1
/ |_ / |/ | \\____ \ \____ \ 9
< | < / | / | \/ | \ 9
\ _____\_<____|___\_____ /\_____ / 7
+==\/=====================\/====hh!\/==+

File Names: CLSABR??.ZIP
Release Date: 22 MAR 1997

Haha Wow.. Holy shit, and all that. This IS the most kick ass tank game I've
ever played. I knew it was coming, but I didn't know exactly how good it was.
This muthafuckahz got it all. Everything from smoke screen, to laser, to
infared, trajectory, and more.. Everything that's in a real abrams. Trust me,
I've been in one :) Ft. Benning, GA. This is from the same people who made
Apache and Hind sims too. And get out the high-end stick for this, lots of
controls, and the more buttons/axis the better. I really didn't get to play
this as long as I wanted to, I've only got about 10 more minutes before this
has to be turned in, so I really didn't get to fuck with every single thing.
Great grafix, and awesome sounds. Had a enemy shell blow up right next to me,
and I literally jumped cuz it was a loud, concussive explosion. You'll need
about 230M not including the .rar's or .zips for this though. And BTW, you
don't need to run the setup.exe either.. Just go into \abrams\abrams and run
the .exe there. I didn't try this, but you can probably delete all the dirs
other than the abrams dir after you unrar.

Not much else to say except to leech this if you can, and have the room to
unrar it.

** POINTS: 93 - Just flat out AWESOME!

[][][][][][][][][][]

TIGERSHARK (c) GT INTERACTIVE [XX/09]
______ /| ___ /\______ /\______
/ \/ | / _ \ / _____/ _____>1
/ |_ / |/ | \\____ \ \____ \ 9
< | < / | / | \/ | \ 9
\ _____\_<____|___\_____ /\_____ / 7
+==\/=====================\/====hh!\/==+

File Names: CLSSHRK?.ZIP
Release Date: 23 MAR 1997

This one's kinda neat. You're in this hybrid hovercraft/submarine sorta thing
and you can either be on top of the water, or dive down underwater to blow
stuff up. Not bad grafix and sound. It supports MMX and 3dfx, and not having
either, I was still able to play it in 640x480, with 44khz,16b, stereo sound,
quite smoothly. There's a few controls, and a multi-axis stick is a definate
plus, but I was able to play it fine with my gravis. I just couldn't roll,
unless it was with keyboard. I was able to pull off some killer moves. I went
all the way to the bottom, then shot straight up, out of the water,
continuing the arc, and then hit the water facing straight down again. Kinda
nifty. Oh, BTW, you don't have to run title.exe like the nfo says and install,
all you gotta do is go into the bin directory, and run the config.exe then
tshark.exe to play. Screw that install bullshit.. Not a bad little game for 9
disks, even though it had the standard 3 disk directX install (umm once again,
I'm quite sure we all have directX installed by now)

** POINTS: 83 -Give it a looksee.. Specially if you have MMX or 3dfx.

[][][][][][][][][][]

Interstate '76 (c) Activision [01/31]
\____ \/ \__ \/ _ \____ \ __/ \____
/ _/ _/ \/ / / / _/ _// / / / / /
/ \ \ /\ / /\ / / \ \/ /\ / / /
\__/\ \/RTX______\___/\__/\ \/ / /_/_/
=====\___)===\__)============\___)=\/=======

File Names: RZRI76??.ZIP
Release Date: 23 MAR 1997

Haha! This game kicks ass.. Kind of a cross between Quarantine with a fro and
the old commie game Autoduel. You travel from place to place on the highway,
and blow shit up. Your partner goes with ya and helps you out with stuff, and
tells ya what to do in some places. This one actually has a pretty good plot
line to it. As far as weapons go, you've got a machine gun, rockets, and oil
slicks to name a few. You can pretty much control *everything* about your car.
Like it's an automatic, but you can still shift into different gears, like l1,
l2, N, and reverse. Parking brake does awesome power slides, horn, a map, even
binoculars. You can set up the keys for all of it too. I'd really suggest at
least looking at em in the options menu. The voices and sound effects really
kick ass, and add a lot to the game. One of the coolest things about this is
that you can go all the way up to 1024x768 mode to play it. Lots of detail
options too. One gripe I do have is the controls seemed real touchy with my
gravis.. Guess I coulda got the Sidewinder out, it woulda worked a lot better.
Anyway, why are you still reading this? You should be leeching and playing
this game!

** Points: 91 -One of the best games I've played in a while. Not 50 disks
either.

_____________________ ___________ _____________________

Whahoo.. Sorry this is do late, but I had to take a road trip on sunday to
grab some hardware, and on top of that, got hammered on saturday nite with
about 3 40+ disk releases. Which wouldn't be so bad if the damned box would
stay up for me to sz the shit off of it. Anyway, have fun leechin all the
stuff I've recommended for you to leech :) I know I did.

Greets: The poor broken-english bastard who sold me my new 4M mystique for
$150 :)

** Remember, April is coming shortly.. Always vote Libertarian!!
_____________________ ___________ _____________________

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
<*> THE GAME OF THE WEEK <*>
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
-Please note: TGR WILL *NOT* BE OUT NEXT SUNDAY.

GOTW is a 3 way tie, two go to RAZOR for their releases of MDK and INTERSTATE
'76 and the third goes to CLASS for release of IM1A2 ABRAMS. Congratulations.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
<*> OTHER RELEASES <*>
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
-Please note: TGR WILL *NOT* BE OUT NEXT SUNDAY.

ATOMIC BOMBERMAN (c) Interplay [XX/04]
______ /| ___ /\______ /\______
/ \/ | / _ \ / _____/ _____>1
/ |_ / |/ | \\____ \ \____ \ 9
< | < / | / | \/ | \ 9
\ _____\_<____|___\_____ /\_____ / 7
+==\/=====================\/====hh!\/==+
-Filenames: CLSATMB?.ZIP
-Note: Fake, and that's definite.

OAKLAND HILLS COURSE for LINKS LS [xx/09]
_/(._______________/(__ ,______________)\
\ . / ./ . \/. _____/ ____/
: /____/ __/ | .\ \ \
|, | \. .\--\__: .\\--' /---' /
\\_______/________/_____/___,/_____,/tx!
-Filenames: CLSOAK0?.ZIP
-Note: Yippy keigh-yeigh-yay motherfucker, more links courses, but my only
question is: Do they mean Oakland California, and if so, does that mean
your golf cart will like have spray paint and stuff?

C&C GOLD TRAINER +4 [01/01]
ßßßßÛÜßßßßÛÜßßßßÛÛ ²Û ÛÛ ²Û ßßßÛÜ ÜÛßÛÛßßß ÜÛ
:²ÛÜÛß ²Û ÛÛ ²Û ß ÛÛÜÛß ÛÛ ²Û ÛÛ ßÛÜÜ ²ÛÜÛÛ
|ÛÛ Û² ÛÛßÛÛ ÛÛ Ü ÛÛ ÛÛ ÛÛ ÛÛßÛÛ ÜÜ ÛÛ ÛÛ ÛÛ
³ÛÛÜÛß ÛÛ Û² ßÛÜÛÛ ÛÛ Û² ßÛÜÜÜ Û² ²ÛÜÛß ÛÛ Û²
ÀÄÄÄÄ[ Release Date: 03/22/1997 ]ÄÄÄÄÄroyÄÄÄį
-Filenames: BLHCCGTR.ZIP
-Note: For those who still play it, and suck at it, a trainer.

_________. ________ ____.____
_\____ |____\ _/_._/ | \_
.-\ . |\ \___ |\ \_/ /--.
|:/ | |/ / |/ | \wk!
|/__________/_____________/______| \_|
|:::::: ASSIMILATION ::::|_______/|
| |
| Oddballz Addon [01/01] |
| |
`-----------------------------------------'
-Filenames: ASM-ODDADN.ZIP
-Note: Lovely 10 letter filename for a stupid addon for a stupid game.

TEST DRIVE: OFF-ROAD (c) ACCOLADE - *MANUAL*
_____ ___ _____ ________ ______ ________
\_ \ __|_/ _/ ____ \\/ / \ _/\_ \
_/ __/ _/ _\ \ _/_/ __/ /| / |_/ __/
\___\__________/____\___\___/____/___|\___\
===============[ úDúOúGúSú ]================
-Filenames: TRDTDMAN.ZIP
-Note: Uh der, let's see now, what could this possibly be.


-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
<*> CORRECTIONS <*>
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
-None.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
<*> UPCOMING RELEASE DATES <*>
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
-All projected dates are as of MARCH 4TH 1997, 8:11AM (EST) and based on
STORE release dates. The info. in this section is updated WHEN AVAILABLE.

Key to system types:

DCD = DOS CD WCD = Windows CD HCD = Windows/Mac. CD
W5C = Win 95 CD W3 = Windows Disk
W53 = Win 95 Disk D3 = DOS Disk

MM/DD/YY | Name of Game, OS, Manufacturer
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
3/4/97 THE DIVIDE W5C VIRGIN GAMES
3/4/97 COMIC COLL 97 W5C MICRO-LEAGUE
3/6/97 BB:SCRNWRCKRS W5C VIRGIN GAMES
3/6/97 HEXEN W5C GT SOFTWARE
3/8/97 THREE/DWARVES W5C SEGA OF AMERICA INC.
3/8/97 ENEMY NATIONS W5C WIZARD WORKS
3/10/97 WINFAX PRO 8 WCD SYMATEC
3/11/97 SONIC/KNUCKLES W5C SEGA OF AMERICA INC.
3/11/97 NICKLAUS GLF 4 W5C WEA VIDEO
3/11/97 YODA STORIES W5C LUCAS ARTS
3/14/97 BRTSH OPN GOLF W5C EIDOS
3/15/97 FALLEN HAVEN W5C INTERACTIVE MAGIC
3/15/97 HELICOPS FULL W5C 7TH LEVEL
3/15/97 M1A2 ABRAMS W5C INTERACTIVE MAGIC
3/15/97 DOMINION W5C 7TH LEVEL
3/15/97 FA18 HORNET 3 W5C GRAPHICS SIMULATION
3/15/97 MORTIFICATOR W5C PLAYMATES INTERACTIVE ENT
3/15/97 SHIVERS 2 W5C SIERRA-ON-LINE INC
3/17/97 LTUS123 97UPG WCD LOTUS
3/18/97 SCARAB W5C ELECTRONIC ARTS
3/19/97 SMRTSTE97 UPG WCD LOTUS
3/21/97 CITY/CHILDREN W5C PSYGNOSIS
3/24/97 TIGER SHARK W5C GT SOFTWARE
3/25/97 OUTLAWS W5C LUCAS ARTS
3/25/97 INTERSTATE 76 W5C ACTIVISION
3/28/97 NEED/SPEED 2 W5C ELECTRONIC ARTS
3/30/97 STR TRK GEN W5C SPECTRUM HOLOBYTE
3/31/97 MECH2 W/BTLPK W5C ACTIVISION
3/31/97 POD PREVIEW W5C UBI SOFT
4/1/97 CAPITALSM PLUS W5C INTERACTIVE MAGIC
4/1/97 BETRAY ANTARA W5C SIERRA-ON-LINE INC
4/1/97 WORLD SERIES W5C SEGA OF AMERICA INC.
4/1/97 GARFIELD W5C SEGA OF AMERICA INC.
4/1/97 TERRACIDE W5C U.S. GOLD INC.
5/1/97 ELEVENTH HOUR W5C VIRGIN GAMES
5/13/97 GALACTIC MRAGE W5C VIRGIN GAMES
5/13/97 GRAND SLAM 97 W5C VIRGIN GAMES
5/30/97 FPS: GOLF W5C SIERRA-ON-LINE INC
6/1/97 DARK REIGN W5C ACTIVISION
6/1/97 DEATHTRP DNG W5C U.S. GOLD INC.
7/15/97 ULTIMA ONLINE W5C ELECTRONIC ARTS
9/1/97 RED BARON 2 W5C SIERRA-ON-LINE INC

3/3/97 SETTLERS2 MSSN DCD BLUE BYTE
3/4/97 ARK OF TIME DCD KOEI
3/5/97 TREMOR/QUAKE DCD WIZARD WORKS
3/5/97 SIL/HUNT CAMP2 DCD MINDSCAPE
3/5/97 LVL MSTR:QUAKE DCD SIMON & SCHUSTER
3/10/97 GOLD:SHOCKWAVE DCD ELECTRONIC ARTS
3/10/97 GOLD:NAVY FGHT DCD ELECTRONIC ARTS
3/10/97 GOLD:WNG CMDR3 DCD ELECTRONIC ARTS
3/10/97 GOLD:MGC CARPT DCD ELECTRONIC ARTS
3/10/97 FRAGILE ALLEG DCD INTERPLAY PRODUCTIONS
3/10/97 GOLD:CRSDR/REM DCD ELECTRONIC ARTS
3/11/97 MAGIC GATHER DCD SPECTRUM HOLOBYTE
3/11/97 ID4 DCD FOX VIDEO
3/13/97 RUSH HOUR DCD PSYGNOSIS
3/15/97 IRON & BLOOD DCD ACCLAIM
3/15/97 CHEWY DCD BLUE BYTE
3/15/97 DR DRAGO DCD BLUE BYTE
3/15/97 INTO THE VOID DCD PLAYMATES INTERACTIVE ENT
3/15/97 HOF:WEREWOLF DCD ELECTRONIC ARTS
3/17/97 TSTDRV:OFFROAD DCD WEA VIDEO
3/18/97 REALMS/HAUNTNG DCD INTERPLAY PRODUCTIONS
3/18/97 SCREAMER 2 DCD VIRGIN GAMES
3/18/97 ULTMATE SPORTS DCD ELECTRONIC ARTS
3/24/97 IMPER GALACTCA DCD GT SOFTWARE
3/25/97 XWING VS TIE DCD LUCAS ARTS
3/25/97 COMANCHE 3.0 DCD ELECTRONIC ARTS
3/25/97 ATF GOLD DCD ELECTRONIC ARTS
3/25/97 7THGST/11THHR DCD VIRGIN GAMES
3/25/97 LEAGUE OF PAIN DCD PSYGNOSIS
3/27/97 THEME HOSPITAL DCD ELECTRONIC ARTS
3/28/97 DARKLIGHT DCD ELECTRONIC ARTS
3/28/97 AH64LNGBW GOLD DCD ELECTRONIC ARTS
4/1/97 MDK DCD PLAYMATES INTERACTIVE ENT
4/1/97 RELOADED DCD INTERPLAY PRODUCTIONS
4/1/97 HIST WORLD DCD AVALON HILL
4/7/97 SHADOWS/RIVA DCD SIR TECH
4/30/97 BIRTHRIGHT DCD SIERRA-ON-LINE INC
5/1/97 ARMOR FIST 2.0 DCD ELECTRONIC ARTS
5/1/97 VR BASEBALL DCD INTERPLAY PRODUCTIONS
5/9/97 DUNGON KEEPR DCD ELECTRONIC ARTS
6/1/97 ROAD MOSCOW DCD ENCORE SOFTWARE INC
6/24/97 688I HUNT/KILL DCD ELECTRONIC ARTS
8/1/97 LANDS OF LORE2 DCD VIRGIN GAMES
8/26/97 NFL LEGENDS 97 DCD WEA VIDEO

9/12/97 CUBS & BABYAGA WCD DAVIDSON

9/12/97 LIAM IMO BND HCD DAVIDSON
3/3/97 MECH2 EXPANSN HCD ACTIVISION
3/3/97 MECHWARRIOR 2 HCD ACTIVISION
3/10/97 GOLDEN GATE HCD PANASONIC
3/18/97 RDY2READ POOH HCD DISNEY SOFTWARE

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
<*> LEGAL MUMBO JUMBO <*>
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
THIS MAGAZINE IN NO WAY WHATSOEVER, CONDONES THE PIRATING, STEALING, OR ANY
OTHER ILLEGAL MEANS OF OBTAINING SOFTWARE. I AM IN NO WAY RESPONSIBLE FOR
YOUR ACTIONS AS A RESULT OF READING THIS MAGAZINE, NOR HAVE I DONE ANYTHING
ILLEGAL TO OBTAIN THE REVIEWED GAMES. IF YOU LIKE HOW THE REVIEW OF A GAME
SOUNDS THEN BY ALL MEANS PURCHASE IT AND SUPPORT THE SOFTWARE COMPANY.

ANY AND ALL MAGAZINE GROUPS HAVE PERMISSION TO USE THIS IN THEIR MAGAZINE, AS
LONG AS IT HAS NOT BEEN EDITED IN ANY WAY, SHAPE, OR FORM, AND YOU HAVE
OBTAINED MY WRITTEN EMAIL PERMISSION.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
<*> CLOSINGS <*>
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
-Please note: TGR WILL *NOT* BE OUT NEXT SUNDAY.
-That's it for this week, hope it was of help.

-Ionizer [THE GAME REVIEWer]
Comments/Complaints send to ionizer@ns2.clever.net (NO GAME REQUESTS)

.a$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$a.
$$' . `$$' `$$ ' `$$' s `$$
$' $ $$ $ $$ a a $$ $ $$
$ $ssss$$ $ $$ $ $ $$ $ $$
$ o $$ $$ $ $ $$ sssss$$
$. $ $$ $ $$ $ $ $$ $ $$
$$. $ ,$$ $ $$ $ $ $$. $ ,$$
$$&@%o%@&$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$&@%o%@&$$$
$$' o '$$$ $ $$' s `$$ `$$$$$
$$ $ $$$ $ $$ $ $$ $o $$$$$
$$ $ $$$ $ $$ $ $$ ~' o$$$$$
$$ $ $$$ $ $$ sssss$$ %. ^$$$$$
$$ $ $$$s s$$ $ $$ $$ $$$$$
$$. $ ,$$$$@. .@$$$. $ ,$$ $$ $$$$$
`$$&@%o%@&$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$&@%o%@&$$$$$$$$$$$$$$hd'

Copyright 1997 Ionizer Inc. #167A939

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