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The Game Review Issue 01
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³ ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ ÛÛ ÛÛ ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ ³
| Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û |
³ Û ÛÛÛÛ ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ Û ÛÛ Û ÛÛÛÛÛÛ ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ ³
| Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û |
³ ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ Û Û Û Û ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ 11/05/95 ³
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Un-Releastic: "I have never played a game I didn't like." -Stew Pid Fewl
Realistic : "FUCK, This game sucks more than pacman!." -Ionizer
What pisses you off the most about downloading games?
(a) The game doesn't work.
(b) The game sucks balls.
(c) It's missing a crack.
(d) All of the above!
-If you even had to ANSWER this question, well the solution is here. Upon
POPULAR DEMAND: It's back, it's better then before, and it's got the GAYEST
ascii at the top.
-Do you live for games? Do you want to play games every second of your life?
Do you find yourself masterbating while thinking of combos for MK3? If so
then you need a LIFE, but that's besides the point.
-"Ok, I've read your introduction, now what the hell is this all about."
-It's about life, liberty, and the pursuit of happi... no wait, sorry, school
flashback... this shit is about:
GAME REVIEWS, RATINGS, UN-BIASED OPINIONS, HELP/TIPS FOR INSTALLING GAMES!
[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]
-Rating scale:
(0-20)/100 = In a nutshell, it sucked!
(21-40)/100 = Still crap but slightly better.
(41-50)/100 = Possibly worth downloading.
(51-70)/100 = Pretty decent game. Might want to check it out.
(71-80)/100 = Worth the download if you like that type.
(81-89)/100 = Very good, 9 outta 10 its worth the download.
(90-99)/100 = Excellent game, a MUST download.
100/100 = HOLY SHIT I'VE NEVER SEEN A BETTER GAME!
-Enough of the crap, it's time for the reviews. The format is usually like
this. Name of game, group, # of disks, review, rating.
=Rapid Assault=
Tdujam, 6 disks. It's a doom style game <1st person overview>. You
are in a car and given certain objectives to complete usually within a
certain time frame. Then you are told to find the flag and then on to the
next mission. The graphics coulda been a little less chunky. Involves the
usually shooting, assortment of weapons and explosions. Kind of like
Here's a password to get you past the 1st mission: SEAWORM <it might have an
"S" added to it, I kinda forgot.>
RATING: 68/100
=Navy Strikers=
Hybrid, 4 disks. Hybrid say's its a flightsim, but I couldn't figure
how to get the plane off the ground (and I can usually figure out most any-
thing) because there was so much tech stuff. The game appears to be more
thinking then flying around and blowing up shit. It does have a nice assort-
ment of video clips and camera angles. Only for the person looking for a
hard challenge <getting the plane off the ground, who knows how hard the game
is.>. It did have a nice music track however.
RATING: 51/100
=Mordor v1.1=
Tyranny, 2 disks. D&D type of game. There are no graphics that I
was able to discover, except the icons and pictures. Appears to be 100%
wordy. It's like one of those mud games you can play, where you choose from
dwarves, humans, elves, etc. Nothing spectacular, had a nice midi track.
RATING: 42/100
=3D Table Sports=
RazorCD, 5 disks. Those classic arcade games that didn't involve
staring at a video screen now available in the "stare at your video screen"
mode. Foozball, air hockey, and hoops. They can be played over the modem or
network. The games were little disappointing, for several reasons, (1) in
foozball you can't control which thing to move, it picks it automatically and
you just hit spacebar (2) air hockey moved a little too quick and the things
can be moved all over the board as if we all had magical 10 ft arms (3) hoops
is kinda unfair since the computer can practically make all shots it takes.
The graphics are nice and crisp, but I didn't get any sound or music during
the game, but when it was over there was some crying sound effect. Anyway,
it was a nice effort, but it lacks the good gameplay that could hold you for
more than 10 minutes.
RATING: 70/100
=Flames of Freedom=
Flame?, 5 disks. Yuck! Talk about shitty graphics. It's an adven-
ture game. Disgustingly ugly graphics and the sound ain't much better. Dont
bother with this one.
RATING: 20/100
=Arena CD Deluxe=
Legacy, 14 disks. Didn't seem to want to work, no matter how many
times I followed the directions or tried some other way. Heard it sucks
anyway.
RATING: NA/100
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-That's it for this week, I realize I missed a lot of shit, but I didn't
decide to do this till Friday. Next week's will be complete and even better.
Hope ya enjoyed it and hope it was of help.
Comments/Complaints send to ionizer@cw.bridge.net (NO QUESTIONS OR REQUESTS!)
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